Telling yourself you can't

Posted: 21 Jun 2011 03:28 AM PDT

Telling yourself you can't lose weight, that you'll never lose weight, isn't going to change the fact that you want to. Trying to convince yourself you are powerless isn't going to make you feel better about staying the weight you are (or continuing to gain weight).

When you tell yourself you can't, you give away all your power and negate all your abilities.

What you really mean to say is: you are choosing not to do what it takes to lose your weight.

Big difference.

The second one keeps you empowered. You don't have to lose the weight -- you are choosing not to. And that's okay. I don't want to run a marathon because I don't want to devote that many hours to training. It's not that I can't, it's that I don't want to give away that much time and energy to something that won't give me equal value in "feel good" payback.

Maybe that's where you are with weight loss right now -- what you need to do isn't worth the amount of energy you will need to put into it. If that's the case, stop worrying about losing weight. Unsubscribe to this blog and all the other weight loss blogs you're reading -- it's ok! There's nothing wrong with that -- you're job is to be the best you you can....not the best X-pounds-you you can be.

But... if you feel that losing weight would give you an equal value in "feel good"-ness, start today.

Start small and expect the "feel good" value to be small. (and notice I said small -- not meaningless. small is okay) Look for that value and cultivate it -- that value is going to be what keeps you on track. That "feel good" feeling is what is going to bring you back to losing weight mindfully when you get off course.

Just don't expect a huge feel good value from a small amount of energy/time investment. That's not an equal trade and it just won't happen. You won't get something for nothing -- there are no magic beans. You put the work in and you will get results. Little work, little results. Short-term work - short-term results.

Consistent work - consistent result.

Your choice.

Laureen S.
on 6/20/11 10:57 pm - Maple Shade, NJ

RNY on 10/16/07

When I hear the word can't used in certain context it is like nails on a chalk board to my ears. . . I have told a good friend of mine who uses that word in just about every sentence pretty much the exact thing that this post states, if you can't, then you won't and if you choose this or that, you might surprise yourself of just how things turn out. . .

Thanks, I am copying this over to the PA board as I think it will benefit people there. . .

Laureen

My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland

Debbiejean
on 6/20/11 11:12 pm - Shelbyville, MI

Revision on 04/12/07

I'm with you Laureen. I try to keep can't out of my vocabulary.
If you try you will. If you try, you keep keeping on.
When we fall down, we just don't just lie there and stay down do we???? Nope we get our butts back up off the ground and hope no one saw us fall!!!!
So I will continue to pick myself up, brush myself off and move! Hugs Laureen.

Laureen S.
on 6/20/11 11:19 pm - Maple Shade, NJ

RNY on 10/16/07

exactly what life is about. . .

though I had a sponsor who told me to drop something on the floor and then try to pick it up, I was like, what? then I got it, trying is not doing, though it can be a good start. . .

My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland

Debbiejean
on 6/20/11 11:42 pm - Shelbyville, MI

Revision on 04/12/07

Hummm....
I guess you can look at it that way, then again...

Trying is a start and when you try your best then I believe you are putting your heart and soul into it. I'm not talking about half trying, I'm talking about the "full out try".
With that "try" you are learning new habits. Baby steps. When you honestly do that you are indeed changing your lifestyle habits to an "automatic mode"...you know like reaching for protein first before anything else. Waiting a full half hour to drink something after you ate...like brushing your teeth in the morning, automatic.

For some people (like me) who have been morbidly obese their whole life, learning to accept the normal size person can seem overwhelming. Some of us "lose ourselves, our fat-suit, our mask" and we all of a sudden have wings (in my case angel wings instead of the bat wings! LOL)
I was a wonderful beautiful fluffy gal and I'm the same gal on the normal size too. At one time in my journey, I was a tiny size 4, looked into the mirror and said "who am I?" People were telling me I was too thin. Was I? Nope, they just weren't use to me being that size and I wasn't either. Talk about being uncomfortable in your own skin...that was me.
Now I'm a size 10/12/14 depends on the style of clothes. I'm taking the weight off again slowly. Accepting me now and what ever size I end up at. I exercise. I push myself. I'm worth it.
Am I being the "be all you can be?" right now? For now yes. Going to the pool and riding my bike and walking. Move to lose and eat less. Just keep trying. To the gym I go!!!
Yep, I get your sponsor's idea. Heave HO folks...give 100%...But...

If you are depressed, dealing with health issues I say kudo's for you for just trying!
Don't beat up on yourselves, just keep trying, never give up. Hugs Debbie

Laureen S.
on 6/20/11 11:50 pm - Maple Shade, NJ

RNY on 10/16/07

Aah yes Debbie, that is the key, trying your best, as not using "trying" in a cop out mode. . . which at that point in my life I did well. . . I've come a long way and like you, always been a pretty wonderful person, though I did not see it, feel it, never mind believe it, was always trying to be something that someone else needed, seeking acceptance and not accepting ones self is a sad existence, today I am who I am, some people like me, others don't, mostly I'm ok with that, but big, thin, it's not the size of me that matters, it's the size of my heart and the ability to do what I set out to that makes me feel good enough, if you get what I'm saying. . . basically God don't make no junk. . .

Hugs right back at you!!!

My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland

Debbiejean
on 6/20/11 11:57 pm - Shelbyville, MI

Revision on 04/12/07

Laureen I just love and admire you so much...

God don't make junk!! Now you all know that is so true!

Sometimes the choice we make is life is..."JUNK" we make that choice.
I totally get what you are saying.
No "cop out mode" for me and you.

Let us all open our arms wide today, let the angel wings flap (if you have them!) and welcome what ever comes our way. We will continue to fight the good fight in what ever is happening in our lives. Because at our age, we do have a lot to deal with. Some things we can take off our plates and some things have to sit in the middle of that plate and deal with it.

God doesn't make junk...I'm using that one!

Mag (Marguerite) P.
on 6/21/11 11:45 am - Green Valley, AZ

RNY on 01/11/11

Dear Debbiejean,

I was just thinking to myself, "Self, why is it that when someone tells me I can't do something I get hot under the collar

and say Watch Me!!!!!!" But when I tell myself the same thing then I believe I can't. Time to change that right now. I can and I will. Thanks for posting. Mag

Debbiejean
on 6/21/11 9:49 pm - Shelbyville, MI

Revision on 04/12/07

Hugs to you Mag...you can and you will! Great attitude! Stay the course. Aim high. Hugs Debbie

Telling yourself you can't...slap that attitude to the ground!

Telling yourself you can't

Our Mission

Follow us

Links

Select Photos

Telling yourself you can't...slap that attitude to the ground!

Telling yourself you can't