My thoughts on the Past Two Days. . .

I am writing this to express how I feel about the happenings of the past few days. . .

A former member (or I should say an "oldtimer") came on and expressed their thoughts on what this board was like and how much it had helped them in their quest to become healthy and maintain that long after the "honeymoon period" was over.  She did not attack anyone and simply stated what this board was and how it is today.  She did not discourage the friendships that are formed here, but instead said that some of the purpose here has been lost, that is has become more about the friendships/life events, then the purpose of OH which is supporting WLS goals and needs,  Her only real, if you want to say there was something negative about her post, was the comment about the recipes and I don't lurk often enough to be aware of that, but she expressed an opinion, last I looked I live in the US of A, freedom of speech and she asked for people's opinions on whether we should and/or would be willing to come out of hiding (if we were doing so) and participate in trying to help one another both as "oldtimers" and for those just beginning their journey's so that they can see what someone 6, 7, 8, 10 or more years is doing to still be "successing". . .

I don't know about any of you, but when I was considering this surgery, one of my main concerns were what to expect later on, the health issues, the regain issues long after the initial period of WLS, so us "oldtimers" are what you have to pull info from, things you might face down the road.  Thankfully, I lead a full and busy life, largely due to the fact that I am healthy today, but I stopped coming here because I no longer felt like I had anything to contribute that anyone wanted to hear, I felt that since I use Facebook, most of you knew what was going on in my life through that venue. . .

Jeanne was attacked by someone for speaking her thoughts, then like kids in the schoolyard, a group of you rallied around someone *****ally was the attacker.  So to my way of seeing things and I have read and reread the posts here, if there was any bullying it was not Jeanne who did it.  Trish was right to apologize, and Vickie to my way of seeing things your apology was also needed, but you went on to justify your behavior, when in fact the person being bullied was the person who came here and expressed her thoughts and who asked for ideas and/or thoughts on what others wanted and then a group of you acted like the schoolyard bullies and tried to justify things for one another. 

I used to post a thread here, lots of lookers, very few, and then, no responders, or the ones that did respond, stopped coming because no one is interested in WLS issues anymore, they are all just interested in their friendships.  Hey, I get the friendship part of this journey, I've made a number of good friends as a result of this board.  I also get that we are all in different phases at any given time, however, I learned a long time ago, that I should take what I need and leave the rest, or better yet, just file it for later use, if needed.  Knowledge is key to success.

Perhaps I am wrong, thankfully, I've grown thicker skin in the past few years, so come back at me with your best shots, but I am an adult, I take responsibility for my wrong doings.  I think that is all that is necessary here, not justifying and acting as though you own the schoolyard you are playing in. 

I thank you all for allowing me this opportunity to address things from my perspective and I will not likely say another word on this subject.

I wish each and everyone reading and participating in the process of WLS a long, healthy and wonderful life.

Laureen

A clear and concise well written overview.   I agree with what you have said.   Thank you

When I try something like that it comes together well in the brain bujt what comes  out is not as clear and is redundant. 

Your last statement sounds like a definate good bye  I hope that is not the case you are missed. 

Jo, thanks to you too.  Like you said, we may not always agree, but right is right.   Thank you so much.   It is so rare that anyone from the clique take up for me that when people do, I get a little giddy.   When I quit posting, it came after one of those bandwagon attacks where, I believe it was Trish, took offense at my post, then three or four others just went on a feeding frenzy tearing me apart.   Of course, they didn't say me, but they attacked what I said.   So, I went back to lurking and occasionally tried to offer support but rarely got acknowledge.   So, today, coming home from a very long day and seeing you two lovely ladies defend me made my day.    Thanks again

Thank you again for pointing out who was bullied and who wasn't bullied.   I came back today to start fresh and maybe open a thread about some relevant issues but then see that I am being seen as the bully.   I cannot believe this is happening to me, yet again.  

To accuse me of thinking this is my board really hurt my feelings as well as the initial attack from the other.  I don't know.   In the past, I've had issues with a couple of the social butterflies who are less about issues and more about tissues...did I say that?   Well, I am tired of being nice.  If they want to talk about whining...let the cheese get passed cause I know who whines and who doesn't.    

Enough though; I won't stoop to the level of the bullies.

Thanks again my friend and tonight, I will post some really good WLS stuff.  After all, I'd say we "old timers" are pretty expert.