Friday Night

on 7/7/17 7:47 pm

Hello All!

Haven't posted the past couple days as I was worn out from dealing with 3 teenagers! I feel like I am getting too old for this crap...not only do I become physically tired but my patience is non-existent, too! Ugh! Jazz had her girlfriend and a guy friend over on the evening of the 4th and we took them to the fireworks. Jazz got an attitude when I told her not to set up her blanket on the sidewalk to watch the fireworks bc ppl were walking along there. She actually sat with her back to her 2 friends for a good half hour having a hissy fit.

Then the following day we had planned a day trip to the beach with the 3 of them. Jazz told me her phone was fully charged so I could reach her once they were let loose in the amusement park, but when I told her to call me every 30 minutes she informs me her phone died on the drive down to the beach! So I bit my tongue & told her to check in with me at a certain spot every 30 minutes. Do you think she did that? Nope, had to hunt her down & it took over an hour to find them! Then on way home her girlfriend asks why we are taking her home when SHE planned to spend the nite & had texted her mom to let her know! Really? Where did you get that idea bc WE didn't invite you!

Did I say UGH...teenagers!

It's been rainy & super humid here the past few days which doesn't help my sorry for dumping on anyone reading! Hope my mood picks up!

Judy, glad you had a good 4th & had a moment of really enjoying yourself for the first time since your mom passed! It will get better, but things are never the same! I am not sure what happened to other members from last year. I know Lightswitch had a load of major things going on so maybe she has just been tied up with all that.

Trish, sorry about the situation with your mom. I think I probably mentioned a thousand times my dad's dementia led to a huge family breakdown. My siblings did not understand it was the Alzheimer's...and not HIM...that caused his worst personality traits to take over. They just believed he was being difficult. They had no interest in trying to learn about his disease...they were just pissed at him. It is hard being in your position. Your sister's denial just sounds so much like what we encountered. And it is like a double tragedy dealing with the sick person and then the family issues. Frustrating! I wish you the best.

Also, as you can see from above I have been dealing with a lot of depression lately which erupts into anger. I need to go into therapy. Hope you can find a way to deal with yours...

Yvonne, I had read about your sister-in-law and feel bad for your brother and family. That is a scary diagnosis, and treatment is just as scary. Prayers for her and the rest of you!

H.A.L.A., hope all is well with you. Nice to see you show up.

I'll sign off for now, but did want to check in and respond to ppl's posts.



on 7/8/17 5:06 pm - Canada

Hi All:

Been reading your posts, but felt could not post anything really positive as am going through another IBD flare, and am on synthetic morphine again which helps tone down the sudden cramping and lets me sleep in short bits. This gets so boring in a hurry, and I don't dare use the pool as when I get the urge never know if it's going to be wind or diarrheia, so really need a bathroom ina hurry. So now and for next few days this rules my life.

Am staying hydrated by drinking lots of water, and today drank two huge pots of green tea...had some unsweetened natural yogurt and home made unsweetened applesauce, then later scrambled 2 eggs with lots of shredded cheese and fresh herbs rolled in a small tortilla, but could only eat half. The other half is in the fridge in case of a snack attack, but when I weighed myself this morning had lost another 2 lbs since Wednesday. The painkillers kill my hunger!

Great, closing in on reaching 200 lbs ( under 200 was my surgery goal, but at 208 lbs I started regain ). My goal now is Wonderland ( "one"derland, so anything under 200 lbs), and have 3 lbs to go. What a way to lose weight, but it is working and looks like I may reach goal soon. Have lost 25 lbs since last September, so shedding the regain slowly and homing in on my original wls goal looks possible. I started this journey at over 300 lbs and it is ongoing.

There's a silver lining here for me, hope you find yours whatever's bothering you, be it kids, family, whatever.



H.A.L.A B.
on 7/10/17 11:35 am

I can relate with the IBD. I have IB-C and it can be a ***** The pain and cramps can be horrible. But I learned what can cause them and how to avoid that. Now 95% of the time - I get the pain only when I do something stupid - like eats food taht can cause the gas and pain - cramps.

Unfortunately - a lot of foods can cause that- so my "safe diet" is rather limited.

good luck, hope things get easier for your.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

on 7/10/17 3:05 pm - Canada

Yes HALAB, we have exchanged on this before and I know you are a fellow sufferer. You suggested I look into SIBO, and I am negative although thank you for that suggestion.

I cannot just rely on eating a list of "safe" foods. I paid out-of-pocket for an expensive blood test to determine food intolerances and sensitivities ( plus of course any outright allergies which I don't seem to have). Amazingly things I thought I was sensitive to, I am not. I suspected I was a (mild) celiac and avoided gluten. Seems I am ok with gluten, but not to yeast. I had switched to GF foods, but RICE (of all kinds) is a major Intolerance and GF foods are mostly rice or potato based. I am not lactose intolerant, but CASSEIN is my number one intolerance and all cheeses including goatcheese use cassein. Also many other normally healthy veggies like spinach and broccoli are on my avoid if possible list. I won't bore you with the surprising list of 88 out of 240 foods that I should avoid. Doesn't mean I can never eat them again, just not everyday, and I would eat for example a shoebox of spinach a week as I love it, now eat just a little once a week. And what is ok one week, and not on my sensitivity list, turns out not to be ok the following days...

There has been no major improvement by reducing consumption of my sensitive foods and I have not detected trigger foods that I can finger as major culprits. I have had major stresses in my life at various times and they have resulted in flare-ups. The most recent cancer four years ago, and after treatments , am now on many meds for life which I now swallow daily and which I feel contribute to the sudden flares without warning. I have just been on a gentle 3 week visit to friends, Where I didn't do mornings and slept late, but that is enough stress to have sent me into another major flare the moment I got home.

So you see HALAB, everyone is affected differently and what works best for one doesn't necessarily work for others...where have we heard this before!



H.A.L.A B.
on 7/10/17 3:54 pm, edited 7/10/17 8:54 am

I am sorry to hear you had the cancer. Probably the drugs that you are on - they are helping you - but may damage the small intestine lining. And not much you can do about that. That can create leaky gut, sensitivity and all different issues. And when you get a flare - the only thing you can do is to wait it out, as you try to limit the damage.

I get mostly constipation - but once in a while - I get the uncontrolled runs and the only thing I can do it to give it time and lots o liquid. I buy and make my own bone broth. And I always have enough for 2-3 days. just in case that is the only thing my body can tolerate.

My list of safe foods - I made that list based on experience, not testing. If food bothers me every time - it goes on "don't even think about it" list. When I eat something, and it makes me hurt at least 3 out of 5 times - it goes on the "not safe list- high risk". Some foods - I can have a bite or 2, once in a while. And on good days only. And if it is not raining. And if its fresh, but cooked really well and served with ghee...etc.. My gut is unpredictable.

And i get that with stress added - there is no "safe food".

I did not get tested for SIBO. The test itself can cause severe RH and the facility that does test like that did not want to take a risk if my BS would drop very low. My gastro told me that often SIBO test is not reliable, it can show as negative while people actually have it anyway. But my symptoms convinced him that I have it. He prescribed antibiotics for that. The antibiotic is very expensive, and only last year my insurance start covering that. But my copay is really high...

But - when my symptoms get out of control and I can't eat most carbs without crying in pain - or the spasms and pain become daily issue - I take 2 weeks treatment - get on a very specific diet and get better... Over last few years- I have more "good" months, than really bad ones. My last treatment was in January - I lost too much weight before that and could not stop losing. The only food I tolerated was meat- fat and pickles, and surprisingly - nuts and nut butters - but not a lot. But i could not eat any fruits or any carbs -starches, without getting a severe spasms and pain. No veggies except some cucumber or SF pickles. (no skin)

After my treatment - I can eat fruits and even bread once in a while. I am slowly healing my insides. Before I started treating my condition - I was having symptoms of multiple food allergies - leaky gut syndrome. Repeated allergy testing show no major food allergies, but I still get reaction to some foods.

Now - I can eat more things - variety of foods - even tomato based sauces - without having to take a pain pill.

I have to be careful - but I can travel now - and as long as I am careful - I can eat out every meal. We went on a 10 day cruise and i had a great time. I did not get sick even once.

Stress - the stress is always horrible for me. I often have to take something really strong when I deal with an unexpected stress (i.e. car accident) plus make sure my diet is very very light - and often just relay on liquids only - no food - until the stress is more manageable.

My doc put me on anxiety drugs - and we hope that would help some - I have a lot of stress work lately. I had days taht i just could not leave the house... I had to take muscle relaxants or narco -and i can't drive while on that. '

Hot compress on the belly and putting my knees up to my chest - helps some.. My cat is great- I thought him to sleep on my belly - he provides the pressure and the heat. My problem with stress sis that my gut stops working. It get "locked" up. When that happens - the only thing I can do it drink liquids and try to relax.

I do hope your flare does not last very long. wishing you best.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

on 7/8/17 6:06 pm
VSG on 08/11/14

Kathy thanks for the prayers.

Yesterday woke up with bunch of trees down from a storm we had during the night. Where i normally park, my car would of been crushed and i don't have full coverage on it so i would be without a car. Thanking God for that. My friend wasn't so lucky, it smashed her van and her sons house but they're okay. At least she has full coverage.

Have a good night

H.A.L.A B.
on 7/10/17 11:31 am

Kathy, not sure how you can handle the teenagers. I never had children and sometimes i think I am missing that, other times- looking at what some of my friends are going through - I know I am OK. Some of us not suppose to have children. I have cats.

I know a while back you were looking for a part time job, not sure if you found something nice or gave up on the idea.

work is crazy, but that is normal...Some days I do better than others.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

on 7/10/17 12:24 pm


I raised 3 girls as a single mother before remarrying, and that was bad enough in my 30's! I was raised where you did not backtalk your parents, and back in the day I think most of us respected that. Even my girls seldom spoke was boys and other typical issues...times 3...that made the teenage years difficult.

Nowadays it appears these kids just have no fear and little respect. Obviously I love Jazz to death and we have raised her since she was 5, but she has a lot of issues combined with today's society where unacceptable behavior seems to be the norm.

I am just tired, old, don't always feel good and lack patience.

My middle daughter is like you where she decided in her 20's she didn't want kids. She has 2 cats which are like her kids. I agree that kids aren't for!

I had been working as a caregiver part-time until I got sick in March of this year. I am still not released to return, and altho I loved my clients do not think I will be able to do caregiving in the future. It can be very physically demanding and they told me that being septic can lead to lifelong fatigue, weakness, etc. That is how I have been feeling the past 4 months...hopefully it will subside by the time the doctors release me.


H.A.L.A B.
on 7/10/17 12:37 pm

I never knew you were sick.. I am so sorry to hear that. Caregiver role is very hard. Mentally and it can be very physically. My BF sister does that, and the mental part doe snot bother her - but I can see that physically she should not do that...and since I am really not relate do her - I try to stay out of the drama. Since I have been with my BF- he is much better with limiting how her stuff is affecting him. She is an adult and she does as she wises...

I hope you recover completely... good luck.


Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

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