I'm feeling tremendously down.. Please help me.

What is it about weight loss and depression? My goal was to fix me and love me first. I'm always looking out for everyone else first and putting me on the back burner. Today really hit the bottom of my soul in which I do not want to exist anymore. I should be on the beginning of happiness. I had my weight loss surgery on 07/27/2011 and I still feel I havent loss much weight yet. The last time I was weighed was on 8/15/2011 and my weight is 235pds from start weight 250pds. I still fill no loss and my husband doesnt see any difference in me as he says. Others do but  I don't . He also tries to feed me many thing I should not have at all and of course I do not eat them. I still trying to figure out what kind of things I could eat since I am now 1 month into my surgery. I need help is anyone out there???

Hang in there...I had depression too. It lasted a couple of weeks and then went away, if it remains call your surgeon. Did they prescribe anything for you to take after surgery? My doctor sends everyone home on an anti depressant. I didn't see the weight loss in the beginning either, but now I am 7 pounds from goal! You can do it! The most important suggestion I can give you...PRAY,PRAY, PRAY! God is walking with you each step of the way! Blessings!

I can really sympathize with you. I feel the exact same way. I am so depressed and feel like what in the world have I done. I am having problems with strictures and am not able to eat alot of what I should be able to now. I am almost 2 months out and have only lost 25 lbs. I have no energy and am so frustrated. I was waiting on a call from my doctor's office on Friday to schedule another EGD. They never called. I have serious acid reflux going on to. Hopefully, the good Lord with help us through this very difficult time.

 I am sorry you feel so sad, if you saw my previous topic you can see that I feel sad to, and it always brings me to that place where I want to eat my feelings.  I hate to admit that, I hate to feel weak when it comes to food.  I hate that my mood and happiness relies on a scale and the number on my clothes.  I want that to change, but that will only happen when we find peace and love for ourselves.

Right now I am fighting the urger to eat foods I know are bad but I want for comfort.  I have to love myself more then that food.  

Trust me, if you stick with this in time you are going to lose so much weight and wonder how it came off as fast as it did.  Some months I lose near nothing others it drops off like nuts.  Some days I feel skinny and sexy, 2 days later I feel like a cow.  it's all par for the course.

Hang in there....it is all going to happen for you

Honey, you have dropped 15# in the past month;  you are already successful!  Of course,
15# isn't much, but do the math:  at an average 2# weekly loss, you will lose 50# more in
the next six months.  That's 65#, and by Christmas your jeans will be falling off of you!

You need to tell your husband that his sabotage is unacceptable;  he knows you are
embarked on a life-changing journey and his trying to feed you the wrong things is
just simply unkind. 

Many of us have been used to giving into the influence of members of our families who
don't want us to succeed.  Why?  I don't know--I'm not privy to their deepest fears.  BUT
you are the one (and the ONLY one) who can stand up against this behavior. 

Give him one last chance.  Tell him firmly that you do not want him to continue to offer
foods that he knows you shouldn't be eating.  If he continues, be forceful.  I've even
taken a toxic food from a saboteur's hand and walked over to the garbage can and
dropped it in, without a word.  No "thanks", no nothing.  If the message isn't clear
enough, do it again and again until it goes into their memory banks.

You are the only one who can prevent these junque foods from getting into your new
little pouch.

Best wishes for your continued success.

Depression is not uncommon with post ops. Female hormones "go nuts" the first few months post op.  This will likely lead to mood swings, and depression. You may need some counseling and or medication to help you through this.  Image issues are also common. This may also include loved ones being used to "the old you" not noticing your initial wt loss.  There is help at support groups. You'll learn about these issues, and hear how others have faced these challenges. I'd highly recommend you bring hubby to the meetings too, so he can get educated, since he's the one "..tries fo feed me many things.." . Your support system needs some education too, to help you on your journey. There are many post ops in my support groups who bring their spouses to the meetings.   Depression is somewhat normal, even with men, as you've chosen wt loss surgery, which has protocols--like giving up certain foods and quantities of food you had before surgery. DAVE

After one month I was still drinking a chocolate proein shake which is 1 cup of almond breeze from walmart,  It tastes like milk with half of the calories.  I whip it up in my Magic bullet blender with ice and 1scoop of protein powder with a little coffee powder and it tastes great.  I have half a yogurt around 10 am then for lunch an ounce of lean protein like chicken or fish.  For an aftenoon snack I have half a cup of cottage cheese with a few canned mandarin orange segments.  for an evening snack I have a small slice of cheese with half an apple.  All day I drink 6 to 8 cups of diluted crystal light instead of water.  I dont like the taste of it full strength.  I bought myself a special cup with a straw that looks like a take-out cup.  I fill my cup full of ice and crystal light ans i take it with me everywhere.  You wont feel hungry your pouch will always feel full.

Your hormones are going crazy. Please remember that "this too shall pass". If you have trouble remembering that, maybe talk to your doctor about antidepressants. Tell your husband to keep his comments to himself (and don't ask him if he sees a difference or he may tell you that he doesn't see it) and to stop trying to feed you crap. Attend a WLS support group to meet other people going through the same things.

Stop beating yourself up!! You're doing great!!

Laura

I think your first two sentences just about sums up the crux of the problem.  When you put your needs behind everyone elses, what do you think the outcome is going to be?

So often we think that if we could just lose the weight, we're going to be happy when, in truth, happiness is an inside job.  While losing the weight will make us healthier, and with that comes a degree of happiness, losing weight in itself does not make us suddenly happy people.

It appears that you are a "people pleaser," and in doing so you have lost yourself.  Rather than looking at the weight loss as you key to happiness, I would suggest that you begin analyzing why you feel so insignificant that you put everyone before you.

One of the most miserable people I know is a woman who is the kindest person I have ever met.  She always, and I do mean always, puts the needs of everyone else in front of herself, and she is constantly disappointed because she feels that she is always last...

She has never been able to understand that when you put yourself last, you're last...

Anyhow, maybe it's time to take a look at how you're doing things and switch things up a bit.  It does not make you a bad person to put your needs at the head of the list.

With regard to the weight loss, you hold on tight because you have the tool and it is going to happen for you.  Just be patient.

Wishing you a joyous new journey!!!

I think everyone else has covered it very well, that this is very common and normal. Female hormones are stored in fat, when you start to loose that fat, they are floating around freely. Makes us CRAZY! lol As for not seeing a difference. That will come! Keep in mind you (and your husband, who I'll address later) see you every day, so small changes daily are hard to see, other people who don't see you as often notice. That is why it is so important to take pictures and measurements! I bet if you looked at your 'before' picture a month from now, you'd notice a huge change!

I don't know how tall you are, but if you are relativity tall, you might have started out as a lightweight. That means your weight will probably come off slower (the less you have to lose the slower it comes off), that is why for anyone those last 5-10lbs are the hardest. Keep on following your doctors plan and it will come off though!

As for your husband. He needs a serious come to Jesus meeting with you. His behavior of trying to feed you bad things is completely unacceptable if he is doing it on purpose. Maybe the two of you need to talk, or even seek counseling to get to the root of his reasons to try and sabotage you. Good for you for sticking up and saying no, but self control and will power only goes so far when someone is constantly there trying to stuff something in your face.