New TLC reality show Big Sexy
I think you guys are turning this into something I am NOT trying to say, or perhaps I am not expressing myself very well.
The girls on that show, from what I have seen, are set up and displayed, and IMO, basically portrayed as fat and happy with it, with an undertone of kind of a freak show, in some respects. I don't like the tone of it.
And no matter HOW you put it - being overweight is NOT healthy. Its not like being deaf - you didn't choose to be deaf. Maybe you didn't CHOOSE to be overweight and a certain set of cir****tances brought you there, but you are overweight most of the time by your own volition.
Its not what I want for my children. I tried to keep them eating healthy and exercising WAY before I had surgery. They've been involved in sports for years. I have three kids that all eat the same thing and do the same stuff and one of them has a weight problem. I am trying to make sure it doesn't get worse, and I don't think glamorizing being overweight and girls drinking and running around gorging themselves is going to help with that. That is all.
The girls on that show, from what I have seen, are set up and displayed, and IMO, basically portrayed as fat and happy with it, with an undertone of kind of a freak show, in some respects. I don't like the tone of it.
And no matter HOW you put it - being overweight is NOT healthy. Its not like being deaf - you didn't choose to be deaf. Maybe you didn't CHOOSE to be overweight and a certain set of cir****tances brought you there, but you are overweight most of the time by your own volition.
Its not what I want for my children. I tried to keep them eating healthy and exercising WAY before I had surgery. They've been involved in sports for years. I have three kids that all eat the same thing and do the same stuff and one of them has a weight problem. I am trying to make sure it doesn't get worse, and I don't think glamorizing being overweight and girls drinking and running around gorging themselves is going to help with that. That is all.
On September 15, 2011 at 9:22 AM Pacific Time, Scarlett_S wrote:
I am still overweight, and I have a problem with the show. I think its wonderful if you feel good and are accepting of your body no matter your size - I wish that for ALL people, I really do. But I don't think its realistic for my daughter to look at a show and think that 100 pounds plus overweight people are all that happy and free and loving life. I was not. Ever. And I had no health issues prior to RNY. But I couldn't run fast, I struggled with exercise, and I was so frustrated with my body and appearance I was often ugly and bitter to my husband and those around me. The ugly truth is 99.9% of the male population isn't going to ask my daughter out if she's overweight. Most people do NOT see past that. My husband never cared, but he did want me to be happier with myself, and I couldn't. Not until now. My whole life and demeanor including my job is better for having had this surgery. I can't ever see that happening at 100 plus pounds overweight and I just can't advocate it.
When I someone who looks like I used to, I want to help them. I don't judge them, ever - I feel like I know how they feel. But maybe I don't - several of you have stated you were happy in your skin overweight and I respect that.
But I feel sorry for you. I feel bad that you allowed a number on a scale to dictate how you felt about yourself, your relationship with your husband and your job. Having WLS didn't "make" any of that better.....you feeling better about yourself allowed you to see what you already had in front of you.
I'm not quire sure how ONE show...ONE show out of all the other shows on TV about weight issues...that shows five women as being happy, well adjusted and normal is going to make your daughter or any person for that matter think that life is a field of daisies being 100 punds overweight. Personally, I'm tried of the biggest loser, fat camp, Ruby shows that only highlight the depressing side of being overweight. That's not everyone's journey and I think it's important to show the "otherside" of the coin. I also think that its important to show those overweight women at home who ARE depressed about thier weight that it's ok to live your life and enjoy it to the fullest. And who knows....getting out and enjoying life as it is can often be the first step in making those changes to improve thier life for the better....no matter what those changes are. But sitting at home crying in your cereal doesn't benefit ANYONE.
Again I say...not every overweight person is sitting at home crying into a tub of Ben and Jerrys. Not every overweight person is depressed about thier weight. Not every overweight person feels or preceives themselves to be ugly.
HW & SW: 363 Surgery date: 8/22/11 
I agree with you in some respects for sure. I'm just saying I could never jump that fence and BE that person. I have always been successful at my job because I have a stringent work ethic and I follow it. I've always been a good mom, in my opinion, even if I wasn't a happy one. I have enjoyed my pregnancies and my relationship but I was never quite happy or satisfied with anything. Now that I am doing things for myself, losing weight, etc. - doors are opening for me that never did before. It may be partially my attitude, for sure - but it also proves that fat people are sometimes just invisible.
I really shouldn't knock the show as I've only seen bits and pieces of it. Like someone else said, they could never sell themselves on the 'big is beautiful' and I guess I am that way too.
I agree on Biggest Loser. Its a bit unrealistic. I used to watch it and long to go....but who can really leave their kids and their lives for that long to do that? I never could.
I really shouldn't knock the show as I've only seen bits and pieces of it. Like someone else said, they could never sell themselves on the 'big is beautiful' and I guess I am that way too.
I agree on Biggest Loser. Its a bit unrealistic. I used to watch it and long to go....but who can really leave their kids and their lives for that long to do that? I never could.
I understand that you were not happy when you were overweight. Do you feel like if people see a show where a few overweight women are happy, that will take something away from your experience of being unhappy?
There have been times in my life when I have been unhappy about something that might have made other people happy. For instance, I had a child when I was still a teenager. I was unhappy trying to be a mother and raise a child and support myself and that child on my own. However, it does not upset me to see a television show that portrays happy moms. I am also not worried that my daughter will see a show about happy moms and that she might think she could be happy if she became a mom. Just because my experience with motherhood was not a happy one, that does not mean I think only unhappy moms should be shown on TV.
There have been times in my life when I have been unhappy about something that might have made other people happy. For instance, I had a child when I was still a teenager. I was unhappy trying to be a mother and raise a child and support myself and that child on my own. However, it does not upset me to see a television show that portrays happy moms. I am also not worried that my daughter will see a show about happy moms and that she might think she could be happy if she became a mom. Just because my experience with motherhood was not a happy one, that does not mean I think only unhappy moms should be shown on TV.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
wow... Kelly and Hillary... you said it best.
I am 100% OK with ANYONE being happy with who they are.
We go on and on about "healthy".... what about thin woman who skip thier pap smears (there is a huge population that does) .... that is VERY unhealthy and they have a greater risk at an earlier age of encountering issues from that... but we don't even think of that and other kinds of things that are very "unhealthy"... just weight!
We need to be very aware that what we judge in others is typically what we judge in ourselves.
Therefore... LOOK TO YOURSELF ONLY and embrace anyone who is OK with how they are. It's a very, very good thing.
I am 100% OK with ANYONE being happy with who they are.
We go on and on about "healthy".... what about thin woman who skip thier pap smears (there is a huge population that does) .... that is VERY unhealthy and they have a greater risk at an earlier age of encountering issues from that... but we don't even think of that and other kinds of things that are very "unhealthy"... just weight!
We need to be very aware that what we judge in others is typically what we judge in ourselves.
Therefore... LOOK TO YOURSELF ONLY and embrace anyone who is OK with how they are. It's a very, very good thing.
Mary SW 273 CW 158 GW 160
I gotta add this. I think we are often judgmental when we don't mean to be.
But it seems like most of us just assume it is unhealthy and undesirable to be overweight. We are surprised to see women who say they like their size. And we are debating whether or not it is OK for them to say that out loud, whether or not we would want our children to hear that message.
Um, that is very judgmental.
It brings to mind people that automatically assume a deaf person would want to have surgery for a cochlear implant if that would allow them to hear. Because of course no one would like being deaf, right? All deaf people wish they could hear, don't they? And oh my gosh, what if they wanted to make a TV show that showed happy deaf people? What if our kids got the idea that you could be happy even if you couldn't hear?
But it seems like most of us just assume it is unhealthy and undesirable to be overweight. We are surprised to see women who say they like their size. And we are debating whether or not it is OK for them to say that out loud, whether or not we would want our children to hear that message.
Um, that is very judgmental.
It brings to mind people that automatically assume a deaf person would want to have surgery for a cochlear implant if that would allow them to hear. Because of course no one would like being deaf, right? All deaf people wish they could hear, don't they? And oh my gosh, what if they wanted to make a TV show that showed happy deaf people? What if our kids got the idea that you could be happy even if you couldn't hear?
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Not what I meant at all. I just don't think its a realistic depiction of the life of a fat person, that is all. I wouldn't want my child to assume that is how things are for everyone. That said, there are other elements of the show that mean I wouldn't let my child watch it anyway, so its a moot point. I also don't let her watch Toddlers and Tiaras because I think its trash and The Secret Life of the American Teenager because it romanticizes teenage pregnancy and such. She's just too young.
As for the ladies on the show, more power to them. I wish I could have felt that way when I was unhappy all the years being bigger. But it wasn't something I could ever believe.
As for the ladies on the show, more power to them. I wish I could have felt that way when I was unhappy all the years being bigger. But it wasn't something I could ever believe.
I get that you are really concerned that your daughter might think all fat people are happy. Are you at all concerned, though, that she might think all fat people are really unhappy? I guess I don't understand why you think one show that portrays happy fat people would make her think all fat people were happy. I also don't understand why you feel so strongly about not wanting her to think fat people can be happy.
I understand that you don't think this show is a realistic depiction of the life of a fat person. And I understand that the way the show portrays life for these fat people is not the way life was for you when you were overweight. I'm not sure though why you feel so certain that no fat people are happy.
I understand that you don't think this show is a realistic depiction of the life of a fat person. And I understand that the way the show portrays life for these fat people is not the way life was for you when you were overweight. I'm not sure though why you feel so certain that no fat people are happy.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
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