OT: best friend committed suicide
Carrie, I am so sorry :-( I lost my husband 5 years ago to suicide, and I know very well the feelings of shock, grief, guilt, confusion, anger. It's a natural process to go through all of that. I remember saying to the police officer who was driving me to my childrens schools "what was he thinking???" His response was "He was mentally ill" I was not so sure of that, but he assured me that mentally healthy people at some point in their life may THINK about suicide, but could never follow through because they are able to rationalize all the reasons not to. Once a mentally ill person gets that focus in their mind, they will often not discuss it with anybody because they don't want to be stopped. The feelings never go away but time does help to soften the worst of them.
I lost my best friend earlier this year, too. Just about three weeks out of my surgery. he just dropped dead, and despite autopsies etc, they have never been able to explain it. While it is perhaps a different kind of mourning than a person who takes their own life, I've found it very tough to deal with too, still end up in tears on a weekly, if not daily basis.
It will take time, be extra compassionate with yourself in the meantime. Posting about it is entirely OK. I wish you strength and fortitude in the days to come.
It will take time, be extra compassionate with yourself in the meantime. Posting about it is entirely OK. I wish you strength and fortitude in the days to come.
Carrie I am so sorry for your loss.
Come visit me on my blog: http://apeekintomytreehouse.com/
Start weight 282, Surgery weight 265, Current weight 131, Goal weight 140
Start weight 282, Surgery weight 265, Current weight 131, Goal weight 140
A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt
i am sorry for the loss of anyone who knew some-one who committed the act of suicide, if we knew someone was going to take their own lives, we wouldve been there. but we are not equipped to know the un-known. dont beat yourself up ... i know u loved this person, but you cant change the outcome. but you are still here and you have to take care of YOU re-gardless. im so sorry for your loss. God bless you and bring you comfort in this time. :(.... have you in my heart this morning ......
Oh, my heart goes out to you! Please take good care of yourself in your grief.
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach
"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay
I am so very sad to read this. I will keep you and your friend's family close in thought and prayers. Please continue to rely on the support and kindness here - many can offer you the comfot you need.
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
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