Starting Over....

Hello everyone! I had a Ruex-en-Y three years ago this month. Everything was going great and in the first 4 months I lost 50 pounds! Then tragedy hit and my grandson died. Unable to cope, I started drinking and never lost a pound after that. Now I’ve finally been able to stop drinking but I’ve regained almost 30 pounds and can’t seem to get off even a pound. I’ve wasted that wonderful honeymoon period of not having any hunger and now, if I miss a meal, I feel just as hungry as before surgery. I feel I have ruined my surgery. :O( I still cannot eat near as much as I could before surgery, but I’m very worried that I’ve stretched my stomach out. I don’t know where to go from here.  I don’t even know what I should be eating. I was told after surgery that I am supposed to be eating 100g of protein a day. I can’t get close to that amount. I can’t eat more than 800 cal a day if I want to lose any weight (and that’s if I’m exercising 4 times a week) so I feel like I need to be eating salads and lots of veggies, but I can consume a lot of salad and be hungry a few hours later and that doesn’t help my protein quota for the day. What have others who have had to start over again done? How did you start? I desperately want to start working out but I can’t afford a gym membership and my neighborhood is not safe to walk around in (plus it’s too cold….snowing…YIKES). I’m new to this area and I haven’t met anyone to work out with. I’ve been seriously considering getting my RnY converted to a Duodenal Switch but my expensive health insurance, (Anthem) is nowhere near as good as the old health insurance we had in California so I doubt that they would even cover the surgery (nor could I afford the deductable). Recovery from my RnY was hard on me so I’m not sure if I want to go through that again, and I definitely don’t have it in me for a long, hard fight with a Kentucky health insurance company…though I’d probably do it if the insurance company covered it. Sorry, I’m rambling. Anyway….has anyone else been in this situation, and if so, what did you do??? And if there’s anyone in Louisville, KY that would like to start a workout group message me!!! :O) Melissa

Hi Melissa,

I'm very sorry about the loss of your grandson.  I can relate, as I also gained a lot of weight after the tragic death of a loved one.  I'm pre-op so I don't have a lot of advice, but it's good that you are ready to start taking care of yourself again.  Perhaps start off with some protein shakes to get the protein you need in first, and then have small low calorie meals?  I found a great shake called "Lean Muscle Meal" which has 170 calories and 25g of protein with only 2g of sugar.  If you added a little protein powder to that you could get even more. 

~Jen

Hi Melissa:
We don't make ghrelin, the hunger hormone, like before surgery. Have you ever read the South Beach diet? Basically carbs make your body produce insulin which makes you hungry. Try eating 100 gms protein and 50 gms of carbs a day. I think you will notice you are less hungry. I eat 6 to 7 meals a day with protein at each meal. OH has the nutrition tracker which will give you the protein and carbs for each food. Milk starch and fruit have about 15 carbs per serving and veggie have around 5 carbs per serving. Leafy greens have less carbs. I was just commenting earlier that year 3 tends to be a big weight gain year for many people. The ace up our sleeves is that we will never make as much ghrelin as pre op so use that to your advantage. Unfortunately insulin we still make so just be careful for the carbs. Most neighborhoods are safe to walk in around 9 am. You could volunteer to walk dogs for a humane society. Tri

Thank you guys for your advice!  Having surgery again really scares me and I'm sure my insurance won't cover it.  Carbs making me hungry makes sense and I will order some protein shakes and start drinking them. I really need to start exercising every day. :O(

Thank you guys for your advice!  Having surgery again really scaries me and I'm sure my insurance won't cover it.  Carbs making me hungry makes sence and I will order some protien shakes and start drinking them.

Melissa, I am so sorry about your loss.  And proud of how far you've come overcoming the drinking!  You are an amazing, strong woman, and you have the power you need to tackle the weight gain because you still have your tool.

While some people do need revisions, before you start down that path, work what you have.

I do not advocate going back to protein shakes.  You need food to feel satisfied.  Shakes are a slider and will not keep you full, they will only help you reach a protein goal.

Instead, I recommend the following:

1) begin tracking everyhting you put into your mouth.  You can do that here on OH in the Health Tracker.  I've used it for over 2 years now.

2) Determine your RMR http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php

3) Set your daily caloric level at your RMR - 500.  This will set you up to lose 1 lb per week, which is the safest level to shoot for AND it will give you enough food so you don't feel deprived.

4) Make 100-120 grams of protein per day your goal.  I eat a 6-7 oz chicken breast grilled every single day.  That alone is 53 grams of protein, and it is real food so I feel full.

5) Eat 6-7 small meals each day.  This will keep your blood sugar level and will keep you feeling full.

6) Exercise.  Everyday.  At least 30 minutes.  If your heartrate is up and you are sweating, you are good.

7)  Follow the rules of your surgery.  Do not drink with meals and do not drink for at least 30 minutes afterward.  Limit simple carbs and sugar, but don't completely eliminate them.  If you do, you'll feel deprived, and we all know how well that has worked for us in the past.......

8)  Come here for support.  We are here for you.

You can do this.  Make you a priority.  If you need help with sample menus, I'd be glad to help you.  Just PM me.

Kim

 that is amazing advice, im a year post op and notcing weight gain so if i can get back on track that would be amazing.   Thanks for your advice it helped me as well

I would think you'd have a hard time finding a doc that would do a revision anyway, if you haven't tried simple things like getting more protein and exercising first.  And I would want to try those things before considering another risky surgery.

I don't mean to sound unkind.  But I see a lot of excuses here.  You don't know what to eat.  Except you say you do know how much protein to get, but you can't do that.  You can't exercise because you can't afford a gym  membership and it's cold.  I know those things may present challenges, but how badly do you want this?

To exercise, you could:

1.  Call your local YMCA and ask about scholarships (my sister gets a free membership in exchange for volunteering a few hours a month; I paid $12 a month for my membership.
2.  Put on warm clothes and walk outside even though it's cold.
3.  Drive to a safer neighborhood to walk if necessary.
4.  Drive to a shopping mall and walk there.
5.  Buy exercise DVDs or check some out at your library (that's free!) and exercise at home.

To find out what you should be eating, you could:

1.  Make an appointment with a dietician (there is one at my Y that charges $60 per appointment).
2.  Make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon (I assume your insurance covers your follow up, right?)
3.  Get online and do some reading.

To get enough protein, you could:

1.  Drink one or two protein shakes a day with 30 grams protein each.
2.  Eat meat.  One ounce of meat has about seven grams of protein, so if you ate three ounces of meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, that would give you about 63 grams or protein.
3.  Eat Greek yogurt and cottage cheese.  One cup of Green yogurt has about 20 grams of protein (depends on the brand) and one cup of cottage cheese has about 28 grams of protein.  So if you had a cup of cottage cheese for a snack and ate meat for three meals a day, you'd get about 91 grams of protein right there.

So what are you willing to do?

Hi Melissa.  What a terrible tragedy for you.  I'm so sorry.  I had my RNY in December 2005 and lost my father unexpectedly due to a heart attack in August 2006.  Despite his loss and my loss of employment I managed to stay on track because I knew how proud he was of me and my accomplishment plus I had the support of some wonderful friends.  Fast forward 3 years: the most wonderful friend turned out to be a selfish conniving wench who only cared about herself and only thought of herself.  Her hatred and spite caused a huge rift in my life and I had to sever all ties.  In the year that followed I gained 60 lbs.  I felt tired, irritable and unattractive.  I'd get winded easily and didn't want to exercise.  The year that followed was horrible.  I started back on track thanks to the new wife of my ex-husband, believe it or not.  She had alway said how much she admired my dedication and ability to stick with the program that she also had the surgery.  It was definitely a wake-up call.

I've been very, very good to myself since 1/1/12.  Most of my protein comes from protein shakes (I bought one by Naturade - Creamy Vanilla - at Sams Club which has 18 grams of protein & 180 cal, Syntrax Nectar - Fuzzy Navel - at the Vitamin Shoppe which has 23 grams of protein and 90 cal plus the EAS AdvantEdge CarbControl -Rich Dark Chocolate - which has 17 grams of protein and 110 cal.

Talk to your doctor or nutritionist because I think 800 calories a day is too low.  I'm afraid your metabolism will go into starvation mode.

Thanks very much everyone for all the information, advice, and encouragement!

Kim,  THANK YOU for your very detailed post!!! I did go to: http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php and my RMR calculation is 1,817. I’m not really sure what you meant about setting it at 500. My activity factor is low, the 1.2 so the RMR is calculation is 2,180. I guess that means how many calories I’d need to take in everyday to stay at my current weight? And the 1,817 calculation is how many calories my body needs to take in just to survive? So I need to take in somewhere between 1,817 and 2,180? LOL I’m slow so it takes me a while to understand. :) That is a very helpful web site though! It has all the numbers of how much calories you’re burning for all kinds of different activities. Thanks for posting that URL!
 
I do have a very hard time with not drinking while eating and not drinking for 30 min after. I’m guessing since you’ve been SO successful and that you hold to that rule that it is very important and I should stick to it, right?


Kelly,
 
Don’t worry about sounding unkind…I DO MAKE A LOT OF EXCUSES! :) it’s snowing outside right now and with the wind chill it’s only 2 degrees!! I am a wimpy Southern Californian who made the horrible mistake of moving to a ghetto in Louisville, Ky so I’m totally out of my element here. Unfortunately, until it warms up (and I get more money to spend on gas to drive out of the city) walking is out. However I do have several exercise DVDs and I just need to get off my butt and do it!!! I love your idea about the YMCA scholarship. For 2 months I’ve been putting off calling the Y and asking them if I could trade a membership for part-time work but I thought I’d get turned down so didn’t call. I had no idea that they gave out scholarships. I am a full-time student but I could swing volunteering a couple of times a month. At this point in time there’s no way we could even afford the $12 a month membership fee.  I also cannot afford to see a dietician and the Dr. that preformed my surgery is back in CA (plus we have different insurance now) so I can’t go back for a follow up. I’ve dug myself into a hole. But I just need to make up my mind to get serious and stop making excuses.

I like your idea about the Greek yogurt and cottage cheese and Kim’s idea about the chicken breast. I’ve forgotten all the things I learned when I was doing the research and the required classes I had before my surgery.  

Bonnie, I’m SO SORRY about the loss of your father and the betrayal of your best friend!!! That has to be SO hard. I can sympathize with what you’re going through since, within the last three years, I’ve lost my grandmother, grandson, a cousin and I lost both of my parents last year. Death is so hard to deal with. Your weight regain is certainly understandable. I’m glad that you found a new friend though; I hope she can give you the help and encouragement that you need! 

Chelle,  Don’t fret…we can get back on track together!! :)
 
Again, Thank you everyone for your advice and encouragement!

She meant take your RMR and subtract 500 per day, so 2180 subtract 500 to give you 1680 calories a day. This should help you lose 1 pound a week.

Do this for at least a week and see what the scale does. If you're losing and famished, add a little more protein.

Good luck to you. You can do it!!

Laura