Husband has changed his mind

My husband hasn't said much throughout my journey...yesterday I asked him why.  He said my weight loss is intimidating.  When I asked him what he meant by that, he replied "you could just leave!"    He is very insecure even though we have a very strong relationship.  Maybe change is scaring him.

Your profile says you have a BMI of 50.......tell hubby that this absolutely has nothing to due with the way that you look, this has everything to due with getting healthy! If your aunt and cousin are in poor health it very well may be that they aren't doing what they should be, ie: taking their vitamins, healthy diet and exercise?

Personally, I didn't have the support of my husband (long story short we were in the process of separating but he wouldn't leave). My adult children did support me but didn't live with me, so I was kind of alone with only 2 teenagers at home. I had my support here on OH and have been very successful.

Maybe you should bring hubby with you to talk to your Dr about why you NEED to do this! It is about your life, not about him. Sorry if I sound harsh , but a BMI of 50 will shorten your life significantly in most cases.

He probable is having doubts because he is afraid you will have a complete life change, which you will, and leave him!! My husband wasnt the happiest either. was at first, and i go in in 2 wks!! he told me ill go into a size 4/6 and hell come home from work and ill b packd and gone....i told him if he cant handle me at my worst then he sure as hell dont deserve me at my best. im doing this for me to get better, feel better and not have all the meds i have to take....it becomes disgusting. mornings get harder to get up thinking bout showering and wondering if ill still fit in my fat clothes or will they just get bigger. both my husband and myself are at peace with what will happen in 2 wks and i have no intentions of ever leaving him. he and my daughter are my life....and i want them with me for this journey!! Good Luck

I'm sorry he doesn't want you to have the surgery. But as it's been said over and over it is Your health and life in the balance here. That is what is important. If he is worried that is understandable. I believe we all were a bit worried about our surgery beforehand. There are a number of situations that could have happened during the surgery but they could also happy with other surgeries not just WLS.

Is there a support group meeting in your area that he can go to with you and meet other people who have had the surgery and hear about how much better their lives are now that they have had the surgery and lost weight? I think that may be helpful to actually show him that there are successful Post op patients out there and not everyone has poor health after WLS.

Good luck in your Journey and I pray all works out fine and he supports your decision even if he is not so sure he wants you to have the surgery.

He says he doesn't support you and that is because he is scared.  He loves you and the closer you get to the surgery table to more he is going to freak out and try to talk you out of it and even be a brat and try and be mean about it.  He might even threaten you.  Just realize he is going to be so scared and afraid of you being hurt and he is probably hearing worst case stories that will make him even more afraid.  Just hug that loving hubby of yours and tell him that you will be just fine and if you thought you were going to get worse having this surgery you would not do it. Then tell him that having this surgery can actually make you live longer which will make him have to put up with you longer.  Wink kiss him and walk off.  He will be loving and supportive after it is over 

Thank you all for your responses..I believe he is just scared I just needed to vent. lol