OT - I'm really disturbed by this

It sounds like you hit a nerve with your sister. Hopefully your nephew is OK and that she will be more cautious in the future.

Child abusers may slow down, but they ARE child abusers at the core.

I'm sorry that was her response. Not totally unexpected, but still very hurtful. I hope you are feeling better today and I hope that, despite her initial reaction, part of her will have listened to your concern.

Lora

Kelly, I've got the same feelings you do here. I was not the one being abused but my best friend as a child (and even now still my bestie) was abused by her father from age 8 on up till sophomore year of high school. I NEVER knew and it sickens me to know that I slept mere inches away from that man at times! Mind you, he sexually molested my friend but never actually hit her or left bruises etc.  Had my dad known any of that went on, God help the man!  Anyways, it was only my friend, never any of the other cousins or children left in his care....we know for a fact....but it would be a cold day in hell and I'd have to be full out of bullets or anything to off him with before I leave a child in his care...EVER.  I really don't know what to tell you to do but... I'll pray (because it's what I do) for an answer to your situation.  Honestly, I think risking the relationship with your sister to make sure the child is safe is worth it...but that is just my humble opinion. 

I think you got your answer when she removed you from her friends list.

Unfortunately we can't control other people and it is even sadder when the children suffer.

I know, we can't control other people.  I'll just never understand some people's priorities.

I know I realized I totally used a line on you that I'm sure you are well versed with.

It really does stink that sometimes all we can do is be there when the broken pieces need to be picked up.

Your concern is very valid. Unfortunately if one has not dealt with the past abuse/trauma, you will often let it happen again.  You voiced your concern and I know it must be hurtful that it was not well received.  You advocated for him as someone should have advocated for you when you were a child.  I am praying he had a safe night...

Blessings to you during this difficult moment...

 

I would feel the exact same way as you.  I have no idea where you are in healing from your past experiences and what your sister's experience with your father was.  In my humble opinion (as I am by no means a professional), perhaps a healing session with a therapist with your sister may help.  However, because she has recently "un-friended" you on facebook that now may be difficult.  Have you talked to your sister about the degree it has affected your life?  If she does know and continues to show this behavior, she's not ready to move on with you.

Everyone heals differently and can only accept what they're ready for.  Whether this is true in your sister's or yours journey of acceptance only you and your sister know.  Eventually it may be good for everyone to get together for some therapy sessions and things can get resolved once and for all.  I hope for your sake that perhaps your father has overcome his demons and that he is indeed the grandpa he is and no longer the father he was.  

Prayers and strength coming to you.  I know this can't be easy for you.  Hopefully your nephew is just fine and that perhaps your family and you can mend some of the broken bridges.

Peace

Kelly, once your sister cools down over this, hopefully you'll be able to keep an ear out for anything that just doesn't jive with your nephew. Hopefully nothing is amiss and maybe your father has overcome some of his tendencies but it's good that he has an aunt who is looking out for his well-being!

Kelly, at least you can know that  you did what you could do.  You spoke out. Your sister is refusing to acknowledge the risk that I have a hard time believing she doesn't know is there.

I just a couple of years ago at age 46 cut my Dad out of my life.  He beat me and one of my brothers up until both of us moved out of the house. He was still verbally abusive, even as I became an adult.  Prior to my deep-sixing our relationship, I never one time left either of my girls with him. E V E R.  Nothing could have made me leave them with him.  He was allowed supervised short visits.  I was ALWAYS the supervisor.

You did the right thing, and the only thing, that you really could do.  Hopefully your sister will get a grip so that your nephew still gets to have you in his life.

Hang in there.  Wish I had the magic wand that would stop this kind of stuff for ALL kids. It destroys souls. And unfortunately not the souls of the perpetrators. The other poster is right - these mutants never get completely well.  They are like serial killers. Serial killers of innocent childhoods.