Mental Catch-up

aldade
on 2/17/16 2:35 am

I am 3 months post op and have lost 100 lbs.....but I am still struggling with the mental aspect after surgery.  People comment on how great and "skinny" I look, a word that has NEVER been used to describe me before....and the lbs lost is great BUT when I look in the mirror I still see the "old me" that looks back....I don't see what everyone else is seeing.  I will say that when I am buying smaller clothes, even though I go first to my old sizes even though they are no longer in my closet at home, or putting on pants that are brand new that have been in my closet for the past 7 years cause they were too small when bought and don't have to do the shimmy dance to get them up and over my butt and legs feels good and I enjoy that with a kinda "huh" moment....when does the brain and how you see yourself catch up with what is actually happening to your body!?!?!?  I realize it is different for everyone......it is just something I am waiting for....alomst like that lightbulb moment that finally see's all the work and reward for all the work that I have put in to date.

Deanna798
on 2/17/16 3:40 am
RNY on 08/04/15

I'm 6 month post op and I've lost over 100lbs as well. I'm kinda dealing with the same thing,  and I'm having a hard time being happy with how I look.  

Age: 44 | Height: 5' 3" | Starting January 2015: 291 | RNY 8/4/15 with Dr. Arthur Carlin| Goal: 150

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. ~Proverbs 19:20

Laura in Texas
on 2/17/16 3:43 am

It took me around 3 years to see how I really look now. I can pick people out of a crowd now who are similar in size as me (I used to be way off).

Time will help. If you are still worried, seek therapy.

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

H.A.L.A B.
on 2/17/16 4:20 am, edited 2/16/16 8:21 pm

Check Deanna post.... She talks about the same thing and she got some good ideas...

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/6001313/Losing-weight -but-still-not-satisfied/

 

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

selhard
on 2/17/16 4:22 am - MN
RNY on 11/26/12

What is called the "honeymoon phase" didn't feel very honeymoon to me.  It was more like an "emotional mess phase" but I knew I owed a lot of people to get through the first couple of years.  Yes, give yourself two years.  It feels selfish, but I've put my needs more to the forefront and let go of some worries.  It might take therapy and time, but my best suggestion is to get selfish, too.  Respect yourself as much as you do others, embrace your second chance, and remember how quickly it can be taken away without effort.

SkinnyScientist
on 2/17/16 9:53 am

When I was MO, I thought I was a size 12 (i.e. that is the size clothes I gravitated to).

2 years post-op and a size 4-6, I still gravitate towards the 12. The headgame is constant!  How often our brains have gotten us in trouble (with incorrect assumptions, telling us that the vast quantities of food we ate was "normal" etc etc).

Dont let people telling you that you look "skinny" give you an excuse to rest on your laurels. Say 'thank you", acknowledge that you have lost 100 lbs but you still got about a 100 to go. You are only halfway there now.

I am not saying this to be a witch, I am telling you this NOW because there will be a time in your not too distant future, when people (who have only known you as MO and are used to you looking that way) might suggest you stop because you are becoming "too skinny".

Try to get to the healthy/ideal weight as you can (i.e. DONT LISTEN TO THEM) because some people experience bounce back. I did. My lowest was 139 lbs...and my body tries to gain back to 142-145 lbs.

You want to give yourself some cushion!

-Skinnyscientist..who is a gym rat and runs half marathons and is a certified tae bo instructor and lifts weights and STILL had about 4 lbs bounce back.

 

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

Sharon SW-267
GW-165 CW-167 S.

on 2/18/16 5:17 am - PA
RNY on 12/22/14

Ditto what Skinnyscientist says.  You will adjust and come to appreciate all the things your body will be able to do - walk, run, lift, etc., and your appearance will not be the most important aspect about your body.

Not only did I think I was a size 12, so did my friends.  When I show my old friends, my old pictures(3x), they say that they don't remember me being that large.  

You will adjust to your new look and only smile in faint recognition when you see your old pictures. 

 

Sharon

SkinnyScientist
on 2/18/16 6:47 am

Sharon you are spot on too!

People are weird in what they choose to remember.

 

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

cabin111
on 2/21/16 10:55 am

I tell new and future post op WLS patients that the mental side of WLS is harder than the physical side...Some just laugh at me.  They can't believe it's true.  Well for most it is.  I lost about 100 pounds and reached goal in 6 months and 3 day (men usually lose the weight quicker...We have a larger muscle structure) which helps.

It really plays tricks with your mind if you aren't grounded in these things.  You will make eye contact more...Smile more at strangers.  I had many women come up and flirt with me newly post op.  Before (at 300 #) these same women would give me extra room...and not make eye contact...Like I was a sexual predator or criminal!!  These same women are making eye contact and trying to flirt!!  It really messes with your brain.  You're thinking..."I'm the same person inside...Where were you when I was 300 #"??  You get treated better in business situations.  No, it's not fair...But it happens.  The person on the other side is thinking...Well they are near normal weight...They must have their act together!!  If only they knew.  Any ways...I would say that most people who got to near normal weight, would say the mental side of WLS is harder than the physical side.  Until you are there many people don't know (understand) what you mean.  Brian  PS  I found that I was the one who was more confident...Standing taller, making the eye contact. So it goes both ways. 

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