Explaining my hiatus (long and opinionated - be warned)

Actually, this is a whiney post about whiners.  Sorry.

How soon we forget what it's like to be fresh out of surgery. 

I was reading through these posts, looking for something that said how I felt about this post, and yours said it. I am an extremely positive person, and sometimes I wanna shake my head over some of these posts, but like someone else said, I just click "BACK". Or if I think I can help I try. Because you are all here for me no matter what. I had a wonderful experience so far. God forbid something changes. I FEEL FREAKIN' AWESOME!
But I also know that not everyone does right away. I, personally, am glad she will be lurking in the Maintenence Board, because, I for 1, am afraid she will do damage to those here who need help. Thank you for saying what I was thinking so short and to the point. I agree wholeheartedly, albiet, more verbose. lol
Linda B

  The people who NEED this board are the ones who have questions, fears, gripes.  I totally expect someone to come here and be like "okay, is this what I really want."  And if they are truly evaluating the decision, they will probably introduce the potential negative outcomes into the debate.  How can those most serious of questions be addressed if they aren't asked?  Secondly, in real life people can share my joys.  They see the weightloss, they congratulate me--sure, they may not "get it" to the same extent that you all do, but I have positive support elsewhere.  On the other hand, they cannot comprehend fear that you might have a leak, fear of failure, stalling out at 3 weeks, getting frustrated when your surgeon tells you you'll probably stall out at 60%ewl.  That's what I need you all for.  I was one of the whiniest people about 10 months ago.  Now I sing the praises of the sleeve.  And I have this board to thank for that.  For allowing me to have frustrations.  For being patient and supportive of me throughout all of this.  And now a year later I'm hoping to be 100%ewl by surgiversary.  Because this is a support board.  And those falling down need the most support, and those happy and healthy are the ones best suited to give it.  

From the outside looking in I can probably agree with you.....but from the inside looking out ....when someone posts....both newbies and vets...it's to have a human connection. I've seen posts from both that are simple and might come across as whinning but at that time obviously they needed to be connected to people that may have experienced the same thing they are going through and are merely looking for a connection. I can say myself, most of December especially with the holidays and how I was feeling about myself was very difficult for me and I can't remember feeling so alone in my life. Not everybody has support. I posted my thoughts one day during that time and I think that had I not done that and received the support that I did ....I might not be where I am today with this journey. I noticed at the time that some "vets" responded and some did not....some still don't except to certain people but I figure that's their issues and I can't own it. I am basically saying .....this forum is here for support and the level of support a person needs can only be determined by that person.....so we have the option of opening the thread and supporting them or moving on to the next one.

I totally agree with you. I did my research ahead of time, and I knew the road would be hard, so tried not to complain about it. I did share some of the negative things that had happened to me so that others would not think they were the only ones to experience such problems, and then feel more normal.
I also get really sick of people whining and saying they wish they had not gotten the surgery.
We all know it will not be easy when we go into it.
It is totally worth it though. You just have to buck up and get through the tough times.
I admit, I had a hard time the first few months, but it was worth it, and I love my sleeve.

Thanks for this post Leanne. For the most part, I agree. Yes people should feel free to whine and whatnot, but honestly, don't expect to eat pizza or drink alcohol a week out of surgery. And stalls happen. Frequently. The weight wasn't gained in a month so it certainly won't fall off in a month either. :)

Congrats on all your success and welcome back.

LeAnne-
I have missed your posts and responses. You are ALWAYS so positive and have always helped to encourage me. I really did miss you and hope you dont stay away. We need your kind spirit!!! We need more people like you on this forum.

I'm with you chickee. . . I made a vow a couple of months ago to not reply to posts about the "3 week stall", and then I started replying again, but they don't listen. They expect to drop from a size 24 to a size 2 in 60 days, and I can not handle unrealistic expectations or illogical thought processes. I just quit replying, and actually just quit opening topics that screamed "I'm 15 days out, dropped 30lbs the first 13 days, but haven't lost anything in the last 2 days."

I almost died during my revision/leak repair. I not once whined, *****ed, moaned or perpetuated a cycle of unrealistic beliefs of how my recovery would be. I whine, *****ed, moaned about the pain I had with my band. But, not once did I ***** about not drinking or anything pass my lips for over 20 days while on TPN with a central line to feed me after the leak repair, so I have little empathy for anyone enduring 3 measly days of clear liquids, and them *****ing about it. I don't play the "I had it worse game", but it's a temporary, necessary evil, suck it up and deal with it.

Nothing worth having is easily obtained ! ! !

I'm of the mind that this public forum is for everyone... Even the whiners. I also think that it's the whiners who probably need it the most. Can you imagine having this surgery and NOT having the info that we all had? It is irresponsible of the surgeon to perform surgery on someone who is uneducated about the VSG. This is not the fault of the patient... Many people (right or wrong) rely on their doctor to tell them what to do. I am NOT that kind of person. But some folks are! I am truly thankful for the replies on my posts when I was fresh outta surgery. For me, going through the weekend after surgery was so scary! No doc to call if I needed to, no friends who were supportive. I posted my whiny post about being scared and YOU were one of the folks that replied. Yes, having a new surgery is scary, even when you ARE informed. Yes, it hurt and though I was FINE, my friend was in a lot more pain than I was and she posted about that. This forum got me through the first couple weeks... And YOU were one of the ones I knew had "been there, done that". I'm so glad you didn't ignore me because I whined. I'm so thankful for all the vets that answer stupid questions 20 or 30 times! I agree that questions about the three week stall get old, but they're asking because they genuinely don't know. Hope you decide to hang around more often again. Have missed seeing you!
Jeni

I think we need to clarify that there is a big difference between folks who are asking questions, legitimately so; and those who are looking for sympathy for their bad habits, and looking for someone to give them permission to cheat on their programs.

Sure, the same questions come up all the time; but Leann you are right, it is the folks who think that some magic wand was implanted along with their sleeve that will suddenly make them skinny, and HAPPY; when in truth, neither is true. You come out of surgery into the same home, same marriage, same person that you went into it with. Having a sleeve won't cure your potato chip addiction, your pizza cravings, nor will it cure your rotten marriage.

It's a tool. And you gotta use the right tool for every job. The sleeve is a good tool for weight control, but not for everything else !!!