Relationship with Food.......xpost in VSGMG

 

Relationship with Food.......

I’d like to address/share something I realized I’m going through......

I realized I haven't been really educated on what my after surgery/maintenance life should be or could be. It’s so easy to believe that food is the “Enemy".....The very thing that was your friend in need. When we were fat and hiding from life the only thing that gave us comfort was food. Food made us fat..... food “must" be the enemy.....food is bad....food is evil. Heck we even had major surgery to make our food receptor so small we can only eat very little of this horrible thing called food. Food is poison and food is killing us!!!!

We read daily on this forum about people apprehensive about having WLS because they/we are going to have to give up food. A new person coming to this forum or attending there first seminar hears/reads that your limited to 3-4 oz. of food......the very first thought is that “eating is over". A lot of people come into WL and this forum thinking that there relationship/addiction/habits with food is stronger than everybody else's. Lots of people/myself can blame there family/culture on there connection to food as some kind of need that comes from a higher level. 

No.... I’m not just a normal over eating fat person..... I’m at super level....higher than most of you all because my family does this or my culture does that....or they think there hunger is more vicious than the next person and food ends up being the enemy because we learn... don’t eat this and don’t eat that and only eat this much of that...

I’ve realized that there is a “big" part of this process/education that is missing......

A re-introduction to food with a positive spin...... Work with food....not against food.....food is not the enemy...... food is our friend..... just not the same friend we had before that tempted us to use crack and heroin......

Many of you have seen the food pictures I’ve posted. I realized that this is my way of embracing/sharing/educating myself with my new relationship with food. I choose to not make food the enemy....I choose to work with food in the way it will benefit me and enhance my life in a positive way.

When I post these pictures I’ve noticed a varied response. Sometimes I think it’s bad because it’s temps some people into eating or wanting food....which could be perceived as a bad thing. My intention is to show/share that food can be a good thing.

Work with food.... and food will work with you.

frisco

   

Thank you for that insight. keep posting those food pics!

Lisa

Very insightful -- Over the past 10 months, while going through the pre -op testing and psych, and 3 months of kaiser classes, I spent alot of time thinking about exactly what you wrote about -- my family growing up, cultural influences, societial influences, my bad marriage and divorce....and what made me fat. Then, I had to realize that it's not like alcohol, it's not like drugs -- you can't and shouldn't stop eating. Food isn't the enemy. It is how I used food, that was. It is a re-learning process, I think....and those of us who will be most sucessful, need to take the pre-op days, and the early months of our weight loss to re-orient to the healthy aspect of what we eat, how we eat, and our relationship with food.

I look at food differently now. I look at what I eat, how much I eat, and what I choose to eat from a different perspective. I hope that I can continue to grow in my new relationship with food.

Thank you for your prespective on it !

Very insightful....my friend.  I agree W/ you.....food  is NOT the enemy!  it is our relationship W/ food....history W/ food ......physiological response to certain foods.....that are the "culprits"....for many of us!  If you can "change" or "resolve" some of the "issues" regarding these.....than you are  winning the battle!  Thanks for the lesson...."Sesei"

Very worthy topic Frisco.

Since I had to wait 10 months between initial consult and surgery, I had a lot of time to think about how I would be changing my relationship with food. I decided there was no reason to wait until a week before surgery to try to improve some habits so I did. But mainly I kept reminding myself that I was going to have to accept much less quantity and major limits on sweets and such. As I would think about this I would sometimes have these little moments of a physical feeling of panic . But the more times I thought about it the easier it became and the less panic I felt. Guess I sort of reconditioned myself. I tell people considering surgery that its really important to go through this process and accept that this relationship with food will be changed forever but that its not a bad thing.

And yeah, I have been over in my mind ad nauseum all the childhood and family quirks that I think may have led to my overeating but in the end all the understanding of those issues didn't really enable me to change my relationship with food. What did was the surgery plus the introspection described above.

As I told someone before, in the first 58 years of my life I traded my health and appearance for unlimited candy and cookies and such. Now I have  reversed that trade. Gave back the sweets and unlimited eating in exchange for health and wellbeing. I think I made a good deal.

So I am really glad you post the food pix Frisco and hope you will keep it up. They show that easy recipes with readily available ingredients can look and taste really good and be healthy and within our lifelong eating guides. Food in the form of proper nutrition is what keeps us alive and healthy and should be embraced. The only enemy is maybe big companies that make addictive junk food which seems to seduce us into eating big quantities. There is nothing uglier than the greasy crumbs at the bottom of an empty bag of chips!

Many years ago I went to counseling for overeating both in a group and individually. While I didn't get much weight off I sure learned a lot of things about food and eating that I have drawn upon  post op such as don't eat unless you really are hungry and if you are, then its ok to eat but chose wisely, or dividing up a serving into smaller parts and eating only the parts I really needed.

While we all have psych consults to get this surgery it might be that sessions of counseling on dealing with this change would be good for most of us. But for now we have OH and posts like Frisco's that contain serious wisdom so listen up, everybody. Well worth thinking about.

Diane

Thanks Frisco, very eloquently put. . .J

my thoughts exactly Frisco! i still have to cook for and provide healthy food for my family, while on this journey. 75% of what young children will eat is all about presentation. your food looks scrumdillyicious and is in appropriate sizes to eat. i am hoping that i can begin to educate my five year old on portion control and have him eat responsibly.

keep up the good work Frisco!

Frisco ~

I truly enjoy your food pics and recipes.  I am not an adventurous cook so your recipes encourage me to step out of the box and try something new - keep postin' my friend!!!

Beth

Thanks for posting.  I am often tempted by your photos, but who wouldn't be tempted to eat REAL food when you can only have liquids?  I CRAVE being able to use food healthfully.  Keep up the great posts, you're an inspiration!


Jenn

I think your pictures do put a positive spin on food. I view it as a message of, hey, food can be satisfying and healthy post-op. A small tweak here or there (I'm think of the lavash bread on the mini burgers and pizzas right now), and you have a tasty meal that fits into your new healthy lifestyle.

I had so many problems eating with my Lap Band that even though I went to my NUT's pre-op classes, I had that "I'll never eat again" feeling before my surgery. I had several food funerals prior to my surgery and I had some regrets the first couple of weeks watching others eat while I was on liquids.

After those first few weeks post-op though, I have been amazed at how I don't miss so many of those pre-op foods that I mourned over. I enjoy the foods I'm eating and I'm satisfied. I do know that not everyone loses cravings and that this can return at 6 or 12 months.

Just last night, my boyfriend had his mother over for a mother's day dinner. He grilled steaks on his charcoal grill, roasted some potatoes in the oven, grilled corn on the cob and a vidalia onion.

I had my fill of the steak and it was sooo good. He had cooked it perfectly. His mom asked me if I missed being able to eat, if I get hungry soon afterwards, and if I would ever be able to eat more than just the meat. I explained a bit about my not having hungry and getting satisfied quickly, but it was hard to make her, and others, understand that I am completely satisfied with what I eat and I am not sad that I can't load up my plate with the potatoes or corn.

My boyfriend's birthday was a few days ago as well and he asked for a cheesecake. I got him a cheesecake and kept it in my fridge until I took it over to his house and I watched him eat it in front of me on several occasions and it was no big deal. Pre-op...well, let's just say the cheesecake would have been lucky to have made it to his house after first being stored at mine!

I am forming a new relationship with food. One where I can enjoy myself without harming my body...one where I am in control and not a slave to sugar. For me, I still view sugar as the "enemy" but not food in general.

Lindsey