Kinda off topic but thought Id share, this was my push to WLS

While I was 9 months into very high risk pregnancy at 275 pounds my Uncle who raised me dropped dead from a heart attack while at work. He was a mechanic at Chaffey College in SoCal, stood up from underneath a car he was working on only to drop to the floor. He appeared healthy, he was lean. He was an avid cigar smoker, but no one knew. He spent lots of time each night in the garage smoking when I was a kid. He was one of my biggest supporters… even though he was a total grump. When I got pregnant at 16, he said "Jen don't get fat like the rest of em" All of the women in my family were big and I was the only thin one. He would take me out to pudding stone in the boat after school and we would have a blast, he was the best man I ever knew. The memories go on and on. I was not able to attend his funeral. I was a high risk pregnancy and was told that if I went into labor in between here and SoCal the baby and I would surely die. I have blood pressure that was off the charts even with the meds and uncontrollable gestational diabetes and had just terminated a pregnancy at 6.5 months before this pregnancy due to unsurvivable complications. I knew my fate and there was no way I could go. I was broken hearted. I knew my weight was the reason for all of these complications and I had to do something. I also knew that my teeny weenie skinny lil uncle may have been skinny but he ate horribly. He lived on cookies, cake, candy, anything sweet. Thats all he ever ever ate. That and breakfast foods and that killed him. He looked fit from the outside but obviously his insides were a hot mess. So I promised myself Id get it together as soon as I could… and thats what I did as soon as I stopped breast feeding. My Uncle has been on my mind a lot, it was 2 years on May 5th and I ******g miss him like you cant believe. Ive been to LA over and over and have not been able to make myself visit his grave, maybe next time, thats what I always say. So I thought Id share what I contributed to his funeral. I wrote this eulogy to be read by my cousin at the service.
Thanks for letting me be EMO for a hot minute

The Most Important Things I Learned From My Uncle Larry

A real man can fix anything!

There may be mass amounts of swearing involved and other things may be broken in the process but the original problem will get fixed and the one he created in the process, was the ******g manufactures fault not his. After all how could they not take into account that the plastic screw could not withstand the force of his randomly swinging hammer.

No one other than the person behind the wheel of the car you are in can

drive...period...no exceptions!

Uncle Larry is not breaking so hard and fast because he is following way too close to the guy in front of him, its plain and simple because that guy in front of him is an idiot! And how through so many years of marriage Aunt Marlene could not understand this never made an ounce of sense to her reasonable husband!

Breakfast can and should be eaten at any time throughout the day.

A side note here: coffee IS a meal. If they don't serve breakfast at 6pm, well they are

not really a restaurant. After all not all eateries can be held to the high standards of Carrows, Dennys, Ihop and Bakers Square.

Never buy a house with one bathroom!

You never know when a member of your household will take up residence there and the back yard is not as appealing as it sounds!

The History Channel and National Geographic Channel ARE forms of higher

education...

even if you sleep through three fourths of the program. And the fact

that we don't understand this is a testament to our ignorance. After all how could one live without a one hour lesson on the history of rubber or better yet popsicle sticks.

Sometimes its best to not share too much.

While I was living at Aunt Marlene and Uncle Larrys as a teenager it was Aunt Marlenes birthday, I think, and as usual he ran out 45 minutes before she was due home from work to go shopping and get her something special. Among her gifts was an almost appealing robe. As a teenager I figured at 60 years old he must not know much about lingerie and kind of smiled and nodded as he showed me this “great robe.Â" I think he got that I was less than impressed when he said… “Well, Look at this,Â" he held up the bottom edge of the robe which is stained with some back greasy nastiness and said “ I got 20 percent off cause it was dirty.I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and then of course tell him he may not want to share that with Aunt Marlene. But ya, he couldn’t help himself as he was so proud of the “dealÂÂÂ" he got. And… he wasn’t about to wash the dirty spot off himself!

Be Switzerland!

Uncle Larry was not Switzerland, no, no… he was like Russia led by Stalin! Don’t get me wrong he was far from evil… but he was right, no matter what he was right. There was no middle ground and for those of you who know his wife… Well she may as well be Cambodia led by Pol Pot… again, not evil… no one slaughtering of the masses. But definitely right no matter what! The disagreements were fun to watch, because they were always about the most ridiculous things! Who went where twenty years ago and what car did they drive? Did the ten freeway connect to the fifteen at fruit or towne? Did she buy him those shoes for Christmas or his birthday, and did he really like them anyway? These silly things resulted in Uncle Larry slamming the back door to seek refuge in his beloved garage and Aunt Marlene suddenly struck by some ferocious cleaning bug! Then she and I would retire to the TV room and watch TV, in he would come smelling like smoke. He would initially sit as far as he could from her on the couch and she would suddenly strike up a conversation with me that would undoubtly make it clear, she was NOT talking to him. He would sit there until he thought I was not paying attention and slowly move closer, and closer. He would put his hand on her leg, and then hold her hand. Then there was his head on her shoulder. There was not always an “Im sorry but the twenty minutes he spent in the garage had taken him on a quick trip from Russia to Switzerland. He was neutral and she was right, and all was well once again. So the lesson here, its easier to just be Switzerland! My husband will tell me something ridiculous. I know hes wrong, he probably knows he’s wrong… but it’s okay I’m Switzerland, I nod and I agree. The truth: I’m not really listening, I don’t really care. I’m not going to fight over where we ate dinner last Wednesday. I’m Switzerland… the Garage is just too small for him to go hide in. And, well I don’t want to spend hours in the kitchen bleaching the tile grout!

Old, cool cars are still worth bragging about even if they are in 200 pieces and have not run in 20 years!

So, everyone knows what I am talking about here! The roadster, his pride and joy. He could sit in the garage and “work on/look atÂÂ" this rusted beauty for hours. I once questioned if it was ever a “car rather than the pile of metal I saw each time I went to get my laundry from the garage. He went inside and dug around under his water bed. Hours later he emerged with a magazine and low and behold there he was and there was a picture of the car. It was hard to believe it was the same car I tried not to lean on when I was hanging out in the garage cause it really looked like it would collapse and take me with it. I quickly learned to use this old picture to my advantage, as a teenager I pulled out this magazine many a time to impress a boy and it always worked to prove just how cool my grouchy old Uncle was.

But most importantly I learned what to look for in a husband.

My Grandma always said “Marry a good provider, that’s what I did, that’s what your Aunt Marlene did as a young child this sounded like a good idea. I could marry some awesome guy who would buy me everything my heart desired. At that point I imagined all of the wonderful cars (pink ones), dresses and of course trips to Catalina I could fit into a life time. I never truly understood what she meant until I lived with Aunt Marlene and Uncle Larry. It wasn’t money!!! How could I have not understood that for so many years? Uncle Larry may have griped about anything and everything, he may have seemed so tough but there was no length he wouldn’t go to for his wife. I recall a tall wooden shelf Aunt Marlene saw in a little country shop, it was ridiculously expensive! She took him to see the shelf, and did the thing she does so well. She didn’t ask for it, she swooned over how great it was, how great it would look in the living room and there was Uncle Larry snapping pictures and taking some sly measurements. Months later, there was an exact replica sitting in her living room, where it still stands today. Then theres those great windows, you know the ones with the little white squares. How could Aunt Marlene not have those? Well, they weren’t an option at the time so what did he do? He sat in that garage and made little wooden squares, painted them and hung them up. I can go on and on. The pond, so she wanted a pond, oh, just a little one. So theres the pond…. Well, it sure would be nice if that pond was bigger! So what do I see next time Im at the house? All those sad little fish in buckets, Aunt Marlene looking through catalogs and Uncle Larry digging the “new and improved pond.ÂÂ" Oh, and who can forget that pool we had to have! I remember the day we bought it at Price Club! Aunt Marlene and I went on and on about how great it was and we got that look, we knew that look. It was the look of defeat, we won!!! Days later we were floating in the pool with wine coolers while Uncle Larry sat in the garage, looking at his car and smoking a cigar. He got in there a handful of times, but he set it up each summer for Aunt Marlene. All of these things took his time and energy but he did them for his wife. Because no matter how much he griped and snarled he would do anything to make her happy. That is what marriage is about, you don’t always agree, you are not always happy but if your goal is to make the person youre with happy you can make it through anything. I wish I could have learned these things earlier in life, but you know it just doesn’t work that way. I spent a few years in a crappy relationship trying to make someone happy, who was also trying to make himself happy when I realized what I had seen in Aunt Marlene and Uncle Larrys house for so long. It wasn’t perfect but at the deepest part of who he was he wanted his wife to be happy and to have everything she ever dreamed of and thanks to him she did. And it went the same for her, she may have had moments when she was less than thrilled with something he did but deep down she wanted her husband to be happy, even if that meant spending tons of money on a car that, well, is still sitting in the garage or sitting through hours of war history documentaries and nodding and agreeing with all of his commentary but she did it because it made him happy. And what more is marriage about? If you love someone you should want them to be happy even if that means moments that are not always fun for you. That is what I wanted… I don’t need perfection, I can deal with a husband who swears at all the cars on the way to dinner and back but I want to be with someone whose biggest priority is his family. That they are happy, and cared for no matter what. Thanks to Uncle Larry I was able to learn this lesson in time to find someone who could love me the way I saw him love his wife and for that I will be forever grateful.

Wow, Jenn- that was really touching. thank you for sharing and pat on th back for making the changes to have a healither life. change is hard. staying the same is easy.

 
Jenn....

Just when I thought you might not be hooked up correctly.....

Thanks for sharing Uncle Larry's "Manmenship"

frisco

 nice post, and I agree with Breakfast can and should be eaten at any time throughout the day.

    Your Uncle sounds a lot like my older bro....he's like a second dad to me.  One of my biggest fears is losing him too early.  He is SMO....lots of co-morbids!.  It is a very helpless feeling...to know how to "help" him...but he feels he does not need it.  I think about it daily when I see him.  Very sad/scary for his kids...and my family. 
     You were very lucky to have Uncle Larry ...in your life.....he is still teaching you lessons...even now.  I say...."time  does NOT heal all wounds......just makes it a bit easier to cope with the pain" 

Thank you for sharing that with us.  Sounds like a real stand-up man & a great uncle.  I've cut back on my cigar smoking, but next time I light up a cigar, I'll do it in his memory.

Thanks :)

Aw sweetie,  what a great Uncle you had and its so great that you learned so many important things from him.  A real man is like your Uncle and i'm glad that you found the same thing for yourself.  It's comforting to have those wonderful memories.   I always say send my flowers while i'm here,  he knew you loved him,   once he was gone it didn't matter that you weren't at the funeral,  you were there for his life.  I'm sure he loved you a lot,  who doesn't?   Thanks for sharing,  enjoy your good memories and pass along the lessons he taught you :o) jeani

What a wonderful tribute.

And, you just KNOW he's looking down right now, don't you?

What a wonderful tribute and valuable lesson. I am so glad you shared this. Diane