My first (and last) VSG "binge"

 
What ever.....

Read her post.....

frisco

A handful of tortilla chips every once in a while is not a problem for most folks.  For some of us its the start of a self-destructive set of behaviors. 

Eating anything that starts binge behavior is a problem.

Not doomed to fail necessarily, doomed to struggle?  Maybe so.  Not everybody has head issues, and that's great.  Some of us do and what is most helpful very often is someone asking us to look at our behavior and poking around to ask how next time we might think/act differently.

Not someone just saying, "awww Its okay!!  Do not beat yourself up, its not a bag of chips!!"

NOT YET. She is not even months and months out.  If I were hell bent on eating a bag of chips, I could do it. 

For some of us? Its not the what we ate, or the how much we ate, the problem is in the behavior.

Not all of us, but definitely, some of us. 

Its not good, and its not bad, its just the way we are!  No point in lamenting it or having anyone who does not struggle with the same mindgames try and tell us it does not matter, because it does.  Its not good and its not bad, its just the way some of us are! 

Right?  We are different!! We are unique! (just like everybody else :} )

I crave ice cream in the Summer, so what I have found that works for me, is to make my own protein ice cream.  I think it is delicious and it only has 200 cals. and tons of protein.  Would I have done this during the weight loss phase? No, I wouldn't have, but now in maintenance, I eat it almost every day.  Hang in there, there are ways to slay this beast. 

For me, remembering the NEXT MEAL is the optimum time for excellent nutrition really saves me from the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome thing. My weight gain was composed of a lot of "tomorrows" :} 

These books about emotional stuff, behavioral stuff, were a godsend for me.  I just have a hard time finding therapists that I do not feel I am paying a copay either to entertain or to just look at me and make active listening noises. 

For your emotional onion peeling back Shrink Yourself or Beck Diet Solution.  They are both cognitive behavioral books and help you to learn to talk with yourself between your trigger and your knee jerk reaction.  Beck is great, but I like the Shrink Yourself guy a little better.  But both are supergreat. 

For maintenance (and for losing but it has been a great help during maintenance) is 10 Thin Commandments.  He helps you to understand that there are not good and bad foods, just good and bad food HISTORIES!  http://books.google.com/books?id=Nl2bfrlGW4AC&lpg=PR1&ots=Fr kuEEWBTi&dq=%22thin%20commandments%22&pg=PR4#v=onepage&q&f=f alse

If I have NEVER been able to eat 2 cookies and 2 cookies ends up equalling a bag of cookies plus whatever else I binge on - then it doesnt MATTER how many calories 2 cookies has - if I WILL eat the entire bag, see?

There are some things I enjoy OUT, and once a month MAXIMUM, cuz in my home they equal trouble, and stopping by the store to get me "some" equals trouble, those things are Lime Flavored Tostitos, house fried rice and pizza. 

I have the chips (once a month max - cuz that seems to be all my brain can handle before it starts to whisper I could get some and just not TELL anyone which ya know? If i have to HIDE it, then I dont need to be DOING it) at party functions - and again, only once a month.  We dont go out to eat much so I dont have the Chinese food or the pizza even nearly once a month - but I KNOW if I bring them home - then I will start the old ugly cycle.

You know, alcoholics have to DRINK - they just need to CHOOSE to not drink booze.  Folks with food sensitivities have to eat, they just need to CHOOSE not to eat the things that cause them to binge.  Its the same kind of deal.  It helps you to see what is an okay all the time food, sometime food and keep it iin the box because once its out - your its ***** kind of food.

And the latest helpful book has been The End of Overeating. He really, for me, helps to pull the curtain back and show you the science behind "You cannot just eat one" that the food scientist folks are designing things to appeal to the junkie gene in us.  its just been really helpful to see behind the curtain and realize that some stuff that I do not have "willpower" about has nothing to do with my willpower, just like meth, would not have anything to do with my willpower - I might just have the FIRST choice, to indulge - or not to - and the rest of it, is history. 

Maybe you can find them at your library or on half dot com?  They are really so very helpful.  I will go through one of them once a month - because a huge danger for me (maybe for everyone, but definitely for me) is forgetting the guards I have to have in place!!  
 
Here is a link for the book part of 10 thin commandments.  This is the BOOK, not where to buy it, it has everything but the diet, which is too carby for the likes of me.

http://books.google.com/books?id=Nl2bfrlGW4AC&lpg=PR1&ots=Fr kuEEWBTi&dq=%22thin%20commandments%22&pg=PR4#v=onepage&q&f=f alse

And this too girlie, you are *really* new out from surgery, so yes, RIGHT NOW your sleeve helps you to control portions - it will probably not be your babysitter forever and depending on the *what* you eat, you may well freak yourself out with how much you CAN eat later. 

Anyway!!  Good luck babygirl.  Things like this can teach us, we can learn the truth about how we react to some things, and then set ourself up for success!  Success is not just pounds off the scale, for some of us it is/ought to be very much linked to behavior.

We did not all get here the same way, and some of us have different hobo baggage to deal with, but its not a good thing or a bad thing - its just the way we are!!

Knowing ourselves, setting ourselves up for success, looking at our weak links and having a plan/strategy for success! 

THOSE THINGS ARE LIBERATING!!  Not just the ability to have a handful of chips, but the ability to not be some ******g food's *****  THAT IS FREEDOM!! 

To not give headspace to the torturous thoughts while you obsess about the food or flog yourself? Freedom baby.

Do not be anybody's ***** do not be any food's ***** Some of us are wired up that we cannot just have "some" of something, its either none or all.

But *you* get to find that out about you, and then set yourself up for success! 

Welcome to your new day!  :}  Be sweet.

I'm not saying I want or expect you to binge - but I can tell you my experience.  I have binged many times with a sleeve. I started binge eating before I was a teenage and I will be 50 next year: the urge did go away for about a year post-op but then came back. however, I worked on it for decades and continue to do so. I actually reached goal and continue at goal.

what you need to hear and try might be different, depending on who and where you are. read all the posts here and think about each one.

there is no ONE  answer, I promise you.

I have never been helped by "all or nothing" thinking - such as "that was my last binge" as you wrote. now, maybe it WAS but ....maybe it wasn't

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion

I wish you all the best!

hugs
Jackei

 Thanks again for all the great information & the tough love.  Frisco, Elina & Brandilynn are right having just one of anything is completely descructive for me.   

I didn't think this day would come so soon with the sleeve but here it is and I know what I'm up against on the emotional side.  I've always sabotaged myself in the past when I start looking good and this is feeling very familiar.  I'm more frightened of success than being fat.... anyway at least I have a great support/therapist to work through these issues with. 

I very much appreciate all the words of wisdom and advice, I'm taking it to heart. 

I'm back to the basics of plain protein for the week to work this stuff out of my system! 

Yes, everyone is different; I eat a FEW chips if I'm out of town and go to a Mexican place, last week we had to go away for 3 days and one of my meals was 3 onion rings and about 1/4 cup of D**** cream. (The rest of that trip was chicken breast , protein drinks,and a few veggies). But that does NOT mean I get to go to the store and buy more junk later, no way. I go grocery shopping once a week and don't buy any 'bad for me' items.  And I don't bring any chips, sweets, or other junk into the house at all into the house. It works for me, although I know I've got to limit the sugar to ONE serving a week and that's all. And if I don't fini**** what's left goes in the trash, not in the fridge for later.

This is a great thread. I'm bookmarking it for when I go down the "all or nothing" mentality that I usually end up doing.

Everybody has their own path. Personally, I'm not as strict as some of the others here in regards to food. I ate 4-5 tortilla chips at a BBQ and 1 bite of blueberry cobbler and 1 bite of chocolate cake. I certainly don't do this regularly (that kind of food does not exist in my house), but I want to have an eating plan that I can live with for the rest of my life. That works for me.

However, I'm extremely strict with my exercise. Some people say they never exercised while losing, or didn't start until months and months out. That worked for them. Me, I need to exercise daily in order to feel good and continue losing weight at a good pace.

You know when you're doing something that is against what you know to be right for you. You learn from it, and move on, knowing you need to conscious of that in the future. I learned last week that I can't have ice cream in my house. It goes down waaaay too easily for me to have around. Now, I can taste my DH's ice cream cone when we go out for ice cream, but I cannot have it in my house.

The best lessons I've learned in life have been from my mistakes.
Eileen