EVERY BODY has a different opinion.......
Seems like everybody has a different opinion on MY weight loss, and seems like they all want to lt me know about it. I was at a friend's home for a social gathering, and saw some folks who have not seen me in several months....or more. (none of the people at the party know of my surgery) most of these folks are friends of friends....people I see maybe a few times a year.
One woman told me I was too thin. (huh ? I weigh 215 and am 5'3" ??!!) Another told me that I was going to get osteoporosis really bad unless I stopped losing weight. Yet another woman told me that I looked "gaunt". Intrestingly enough the husbands comments were things like "you look great", "hey skinny!" , "gosh,I almost didn't recognize you".
Now each time, regardless of who says what I say the same thing. "thank you for noticing my weight loss" and change the subject by asking about their wife, kids, husband, job, whatever.....
Why is it that EVERYONE has to have an opinion ? When I notice that a friend or aquantaince has lost weight, changed their hair style, has new clothes, I might say "you look great!" but the women and their "advice" was waaaay over the top for me. A whole new thing....
One woman told me I was too thin. (huh ? I weigh 215 and am 5'3" ??!!) Another told me that I was going to get osteoporosis really bad unless I stopped losing weight. Yet another woman told me that I looked "gaunt". Intrestingly enough the husbands comments were things like "you look great", "hey skinny!" , "gosh,I almost didn't recognize you".
Now each time, regardless of who says what I say the same thing. "thank you for noticing my weight loss" and change the subject by asking about their wife, kids, husband, job, whatever.....
Why is it that EVERYONE has to have an opinion ? When I notice that a friend or aquantaince has lost weight, changed their hair style, has new clothes, I might say "you look great!" but the women and their "advice" was waaaay over the top for me. A whole new thing....
Briar Rose 
High Wt 300 lbs. Pre-op Wt loss 34 lbs.
High Wt 300 lbs. Pre-op Wt loss 34 lbs. 
I just wonder if the women woul've been more supportive if their husbands weren't there- they're probably just jealous! Try not to take it to heart- step back and see these people for what they are and glad you will never lose your compassion and ability to support other people. And then do a dance that you're lookin' so good!!
(deactivated member)
on 6/4/11 9:56 am
on 6/4/11 9:56 am
GRRRRRRRRR... this is a sensitive subject for me. My husband and I were just talking about it over dinner. I have not had surgery yet, but I've already been thinking about how I will handle those comments/questions.
I think it's extremely rude to invade someone's space and start peppering them with questions or comments about their appearance, unless it's to share a compliment. Everyone has to made a decision for themselves. Who am I to judge others and/or offer my opinions on things I know nothing about.
Sounds like you handled the situation very well. I'm impressed with your restraint. This will be one of the hardest issues for me to wrap my head around. Kudos to you!
I think it's extremely rude to invade someone's space and start peppering them with questions or comments about their appearance, unless it's to share a compliment. Everyone has to made a decision for themselves. Who am I to judge others and/or offer my opinions on things I know nothing about.
Sounds like you handled the situation very well. I'm impressed with your restraint. This will be one of the hardest issues for me to wrap my head around. Kudos to you!
People can be rude. Sometimes they really don't mean to be. I've dealt with nosy people for years between gaining weight, having a young mom, being a young mom, losting weight etc. so this is not new territory for me.
I love your answer, esp. for people with whom I don't care to share more details. Here's a few answers I have up my sleeve for people I care enough about to respond to their concerns.:
You look gaunt, too thin, etc:
I feel so much better. You'll get used to seeing me at a normal weight soon.
You'll get sick. I have a friend who....
Sorry to hear about your friend. Most people do well. I already feel so much better with less weight to carry around.
What happened to you? You've lost weight so fast!
Thanks for noticing. I had WLS.
You'll gain it all back. I had a friend who....
Sorry to hear about your friend. WLS surgery has the highest success rate for long term weight loss.
You weren't that fat! Why didnt you just diet?
Thanks! I was heavy enough it affected my health and I wanted to be healthier. I wish dieting would have worked for me, but it didn't .
I love your answer, esp. for people with whom I don't care to share more details. Here's a few answers I have up my sleeve for people I care enough about to respond to their concerns.:
You look gaunt, too thin, etc:
I feel so much better. You'll get used to seeing me at a normal weight soon.
You'll get sick. I have a friend who....
Sorry to hear about your friend. Most people do well. I already feel so much better with less weight to carry around.
What happened to you? You've lost weight so fast!
Thanks for noticing. I had WLS.
You'll gain it all back. I had a friend who....
Sorry to hear about your friend. WLS surgery has the highest success rate for long term weight loss.
You weren't that fat! Why didnt you just diet?
Thanks! I was heavy enough it affected my health and I wanted to be healthier. I wish dieting would have worked for me, but it didn't .
Why do people that NEVER vote have strong opinions about politics?
Why do people that have never invested a dime have strong opinions about investing and the stock market?
That's one of the things that you just have to put up with. EVERYONE has an opinion about just about everything, and unfortunately, most of them will tell you that opinion at the earliest opportunity.
Just smile and say, "I'll depend on my doctors for my medical advice, thank you for being concerned."
Part of the problem is that virtually every magazine and every newspaper prints stories all the time a bout medicine, weight loss, surgeries, etc., most of which are neither true or don't tell the whole story, and people believe what they THINK they read or heard.
Just don't let it bother you.
Why do people that have never invested a dime have strong opinions about investing and the stock market?
That's one of the things that you just have to put up with. EVERYONE has an opinion about just about everything, and unfortunately, most of them will tell you that opinion at the earliest opportunity.
Just smile and say, "I'll depend on my doctors for my medical advice, thank you for being concerned."
Part of the problem is that virtually every magazine and every newspaper prints stories all the time a bout medicine, weight loss, surgeries, etc., most of which are neither true or don't tell the whole story, and people believe what they THINK they read or heard.
Just don't let it bother you.
A former Army Medic (1959-1969), Registered Nurse (1969-2000), College Instructor (1984-1989) and a retired Rehabilitation Counselor. I am also a dual citizen of the USA and Canada.
High Weight 412 lbs. Date of Surgery 360.5 Present 170 lbs
High Weight 412 lbs. Date of Surgery 360.5 Present 170 lbs
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