So overbearing...I'm not a juvenile! SMH...

So...my first consultation with my surgeon is this afternoon. Over the past two weeks, I have emailed my parents a ton of information about WLS and even gave them the link to OH. They are both against the surgery right now.  ( a little background...I'm 26 years old, from Chicago, but now live in the DC area by myself. I've been here since I was 18 yrs old, I've worked full time in the federal government since I was 22 and I've been living my adult life, taking care of myself and have my own insurance.)

Both my parents are in the medical field, and my dad says he has "some questions for the surgeon." He wants us to do a TELECONFERENCE at MY consultation!!!!!! And he got an attitude when I asked if I could just write down the questions he has and report the answers back to him later. He really wants me to walk into my doctor's appointment and tell the surgeon, "you have to talk to my daddy first!"  ............ummmmmm, totally embarrasing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a grown woman! LOL

This is so crazy. I guess it's kinda cute that they are so concerned, but geez, I can comprehend this stuff...I PROMISE!

Once we become parents, it is hard to turn off the parenting button, especially when you feed the parenting monster with information before hand.......

As a parent of an 18 yr old, and as a therapist, let me back up a bit here.  By sending them all the information before your consultation, you (in their minds) invited them into the process.  It would be like telling your parents that you say.....plan to have sex with a new man in your life. You send them a list of pros and cons along with his work history.  They then assume that you are asking for their input, and want to interview him, call his ex girlfriends, talk to his parents, and have him go to a doctor and get the reports sent directly to them.  Then they call you and tell you that having sex with a man at 26 is not a good idea.  So YOU tell them that it's your business....uh, no.  YOU INVITED THEM INTO THE EQUATION. 

See, we parents can butt out if we don't KNOW about things.  If we know, we are compelled by the parenting fairy to try to protect you. 

I am 55 years old, a mom, and I have an 85 year old father, who I adore.  I was recently thinking about adding another dog to our house.  I mentioned it to my dad, who started in on how the last thing I needed was another responsibility -- "you are divorced, your ex doesn't help financially with your daughter, you already have a 150 pound dog in the house, you have 2 jobs to juggle, your kid still lives at home, and you're actually thinking of adding to your load ?" 

All I could do at that point was to realize that I set myself and him up for me to be the kid again, and him to act like a protective dad.  No extra dog for now. 

As for now, thank your dad for how concerned he is.  Tell him that you will call him in a day or two to let him know what your decision is.  Then take care of business.  Make sure you have a trust or a will, make arrangements for your apartment, make arrangements for your after care -- who will drive you home, help out for a bit (NOT YOUR PARENTS!) and prove to him that you were sharing, not asking for advice.  When you call your dad, you can let him know what you decision is, and how you plan to go from here. 

Good luck !

very true...I do understand. I know if I'd not told them from the beginning that I was starting this process, then I would have caused an uproar with the whole family. I couldn't win for loosing! LOL But I won't be so hard on them for caring...like you said, I'll  just prove to them that I have it under control. They just make me feel so young...like I become a little child when I try to stand up for myself because I don't want to be disrespectful LOL

"See, we parents can butt out if we don't KNOW about things.  If we know, we are compelled by the parenting fairy to try to protect you."  LOL!  Too funny and too true! 

Be thankful that you have a father that cares. I think that you are. Ask the surgeon if he would go along - for your father's sake.

@Stephen Keller, yes that's true, I am very grateful. My surgeon is so sarcastic though (the kind of doctor with that really witty dry humor). It will be interesting to see how he handles this!

I totally understand. I told my mom when I started the whole process and she completely flipped out and is very much against it. I totally turned into the scolded little child and her the angry parent ....even though I am 30 years old, been married 10 years and have 3 children of my own.

I decided that it was best to go about my plan on my own and not share anymore with my mother or I would just be inviting trouble. I wish things were different, but sometimes you just have to take the reigns and be confident in yourself.

My mom was against it and I now realize that it is was fear and concern for me that made her so against.
But I talked to her about and luckly we are in the same city and she came to a Dr. appt with me. I said all that to say that if your Dr. allows it, then do the teleconference to put your parents mind at ease.

You are grown a_ _ woman, but you are still your parent's baby.

I am a married mother of two and I am 40 years old.  Guess what, my mother came along when I had my consult.  She was so worried about my well being and had so many questions, that I knew the only way to reduce her anxiety was to invite her to come.  After the consult she came fully on board.  All her questions were answered and she felt like I was in good hands. 

Since your parents are in the medical field, maybe they will have some great questions that you would like the answers to too.  Even if they don't, I just don't see the harm in letting them feel like they are a part of the process unless you feel they will try to sabotage your surgery.  That is where I would draw the line.

I understand your frustration, because my dad would have been that way about my surgery. Unfortunately, in 11 days it will be 4 years that he passed away. He died right before my 26th birthday- and right before I had my son. Know that your daddy just loves you, and cherish these moments that he is being a bit overprotective and just take it as a sign of his love =)