Not liking the attention I'm getting

Now that I've lost over 60% of my excess weight, I'm getting a lot of comments from people.  Sometimes it bothers me.  I'm not completely sure why.  Maybe it's that those comments make me feel like my weight defines me.  I hope not, because that means the old me was not worthy.

A particular woman in my office comments about my weight every single week!  I almost feel like she's stalking me or something.  Even when I've only lost a pound, she swears I've lost a lot more.  I don't divulge my weight loss totals and don't even hint at them even when asked.  So it's not like she knows the numbers.  It's a little unnerving, I guess.

I am not someone who likes attention.  I like compliments about my work accomlishments, but any fanfare and I am outta there.  I am pretty low key like that.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Not a lot of suggestions. If someone is rude or pushy, perhaps you could say something but most people just mean to be encouraging.

One thing to realize: It'll go away when your weight stabilizes and it's not a novelty any more.

Maybe to that one woman say, every week, "I'm trying not to focus on the pounds, just on improving my habits." Maybe eventually she'll get the hint.

I  don't know, that's a tough one.  When people compliment you, they are happy for you and trying to be encouraging.  People generally understand how tough it is to lose weight, and like to see you succeeding.  Although the woman who comments every week...I don't know what to say about that!

I think what you said about worrying that your weight defines you and the old you was not worthy is something really worth exploring.  If this is how you are feeling inside, any comment about your weight or appearance is going to sting.   Its natural to have some resentment when people pay more attention to you when you are thinner.  Those are important feelings to work through.

Maybe just change the subject quickly after a quick thanks when someone says something about your weight loss?  Ask the person a question about themselves and that will distract them pretty quickly!

This may not work because some people are clearly bad at social cues.

 Don't acknowledge her comments. When she clearly wants you to say something, just say "I'm just living healthier, I don't really talk about it." 

If she really is clueless, then talk to her one-on-one and say that you are uncomfortable with public discussion of your weight, especially in the workplace even though you feel that she is really supportive and you appreciate her support. -you should throw in the nicety to avoid office drama.

Say thank you and move on.  Or say thank you, smile, and move on.  It'll dwindle down over time.

I had the same issue with some friends.. and it does dwindle a bit. I get a lot of "you look great" or other compliments on the physical. I just learned to say "thanks, I feel great!"  I stick to saying I feel great as it does slowly get the point across that this is not for cosmetic reasons! I have only a handful of folks that ask for numbers, and since they are very close, and have seen me small to large, I tell. If I wasn't close to them I'd just say a lot, with plenty to go. Few would press on for an actual number.. if they did, they'd get a smile and a quick change of subject!

Chances are she's just trying to acknowledge your struggle and be supportive, or maybe she really is wowed by what you are achieving, either way i can't imagine you would feel good about being dismissive of her.  Like the waiters looking askance a the amount of food left on our plates i think this is just one more thing the loser has to deal with.  I do understand the feeling of "it's just damn weight, get over it" at  a certain point when it's the main topic of conversation.  I mean when it was on our asses did they talk about it too just behind our backs?  Funny

I agree.  I hated comments about my body when I was bigger and I still hate them now.  I'd just rather not discuss my body with anyone.

So now when people mention that I look good, I simply say thanks and change the subject.  Many push to know how much weight I've lost and I'll say that I don't like to talk about it.  That usually ends the discussion.

I can't wait until I'm just a normal person and not a formerly-fat person.

I think I'd just say "Thanks, I feel great", and change the subject.  She'll get bored eventually.  I don't like people like that either, and I don't always feel like their comments are just meant to be supportive.

I am sitting right next to you on this. I'm not a terribly shy person but I just want to go with the flow. I don't like people making a fuss about me. Also, I would much rather be recognized for my hard work or intelligence and not what I look like.

I haven't gone back to work yet (for more than just the surgery) but the few people I have seen - everyone has said something. I'm kinda worried what it will be like when I go back in a couple of weeks. I'm doing the same job but in a new place so most people don't even know me which might just help. I dread the first staff mtg when I will probably be introduced to the group. Ugh!