So I told my new "friend" tonight...

Its hard to call him a "boyfriend". Its only been 2 months, and I like to move slowwww. I had a friend calling him my "new boyfriend" last week, and someone pointed out that I was pulling at my hair while we were talking about it. LOL... commitment phobe! But, I felt like I HAD to tell him, it wasn't something I could hide, or lie about.

He was very supportive, totally non-judgemental, and offered help during recovery which was great. I did however get a hint that my weight does bother him. Which makes me happy and sad at the same time. Because if it bothers him, he still has been moving forward with me regardless. But yet its still upsetting to get that little hint. And, it really was the teeniest little hint, but I got it.

I really have zero expectations though. I think its very bad timing to be starting up something new while about to go through this journey :/

I am glad it went well.   My husband said that my weight never bothered him except that it shortened our time together because of the diabetes.   

You will be able to see if he can handle it when you need him most.

 Things happen for a reason.  You think it might be a bad time .. and it might just be that this is the perfect time.  When you need support the most.  

You're totally right, I need to remember that I do need support. I do not have family near here, and I'm very selective about who I'm telling. I even hate that I'm not telling my daughters, but they're too young to not go around talking about it.

I guess there is a fine line between keeping this private, and reaching out for a little support. I'm thankful that I have a good friend about two blocks from here who had her surgery with the same surgeon just a few years ago. She is has become my #1 surgery buddy. Then the one other person I have told is my best friend who is a pastoral counselor.. so I really appreciate having her to bounce thoughts off of.

I'm just glad with this new friend I can be open and honest. Now, when he asks about my day I can say.. Well, I had my sleep study today. Rather than lieing and saying.. Ahh it was fine, uneventful! LOL

I think it's a perfect time for something new!!  A new relationship...a new journey...a new body.  Let it be a positive experience!!  Let your wall down!!  You know he likes you for you...otherwise he wouldn't be sticking around.  Take things as slow as you want...but don't push him away simply because you might think it's "bad timing".  You go for it girl!! 

 I wish I would have had someone special there for my surgery and 3 days in the hospital.  My kids were there and my X wife (who wanted to be supportive after all the times I had been in the hospital with her years ago when we were married) but it wasnt the same.

I find it hard for me not to almost "trap" my husband with this kind of thinking. He's very "normal" sized with only like 10lbs. he'd like to lose. He's also very athletic and active. I try...but my weight does get in the way at times.

He gets a bit of a deer in the headlights look when I talk to him about the surgery (mine is on Monday!!) It's like he doesn't know what's the right thing to say. He loves me the way I am and everything...he would never pressure me to lose weight or look differently. But on the other hand, I think he's also kind of excited for me to lose the weight and - even though he won't say it - I think he's looking forward to seeing what I will look like and how it will affect my energy levels and confidence and all.

It's kind of like saying, "does her butt look big?" about someone else. There's no real "right" answer.

I would say that unless he starts giving you a hard time about your weight or making you feel bad about who you are, give him the benefit of the doubt in this instance. Congrats on making a new "friend!"

I am so not regretting the decision of telling him earlier rather than later. We're bonding even more over it.. and he is offering all kinds of help. He even offered to "bring me food" I was like umm.. I won't really be eating lol. Then I talked about the different stages of the post op diet, and he wants to go to some of the visits with me so he can help properly.

So now I have TWO things I'm scared of! LOL

Dang what a nice guy though :)