Need your very best advice for a friend

I have a friend who has watched me go through this process of having surgery as well as post op (I am almost 4 months out) . She like me, considered doing this a year ago and sat on the idea for awhile, long enough to determine that she can't do it herself without the surgery. Her biggest fear is that she will want to still eat all of the things that she eats now. It is hard for me to try to explain to her that the surgery and all of the before and after care helps you with this. I need the right words to send to her. She really wants to do this but just feels that she will fail because of all of her old habits. Please help me help my friend. 

well, none of us would be here if we didn't have bad habits before surgery, for one!!! and the biggest thing I would stress to her is, this is just a tool... she will have to make major life changes, but this TOOL makes those changes do-able (not easy) but attainable!

Best of luck to ur friend... I'm a wk and a 1/2 out and down 17 lbs since surgery(32 total), I could have NEVER done that without my TOOL... I love rockin my sleeve!!!

I would say that this is a tool - she will have to commit to using it the rest of her life.  It's not a magic bullet.  She will need to decide if her health and her life are more important that satisfying those cravings.  At the end of the day, we all have to fight that demon.   The tool helps immensly!  I am one of the lucky ones who hasn't felt hunger in the 7 1/2 months since surgery.  I don't have the physical feeling of hunger, so when I crave food, I know it's head hunger.  I have to choose to look at that desire and see what it's masking.  Am I bored? Am I frustrated?  Am I tired?  Is there something else I can do to address my emotions without eating?  It's been a HUGE turn in my life and relationship with food.

Do I succeed everytime?  No.  Sometimes I cave in and eat some cheese puffs.  Then I grab my water (after 30 minutes) and hydrate then get back on the program.  We are all going to stumble at some point, but we have the same tool, so we just have to make the decision to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward.  That's the beauty of this tool!  it's not going anywhere. Ha!

Best of luck to your friend - this decision is always so huge until you fully commit and at least for me, there was no turning back.

Amy

One thing that has stuck with me since I started reading this forum was the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!" I read it every once in awhile on other's posts and believe it totally! I've just lost 20 lbs on my own in 6 months for the insurance mandated diet and even though it's been hard I keep telling myself that same thing over and over when I want to stray from my diet. This site has been the best diet I've ever been on - I would encourage her to log on and start reading posts. It has really helped me!!

Tell her that most of us have failed weight loss many times before VSG and had the same fears she is having now.  The truth is that she is right to we worried, VSG is just a very strong tool in helping you do the things you already know you should be doing.  It is much easier to lose weight when you are not hungry and you have a very small capacity, but your head can still get you in trouble and you can gain your weight back.  She should know that VSG is not a cure for obesity, but it helps many people lose weight and keep it off as long as they continue to follow the sleeve rules and stay vigilant for life.  It is not easy, but it is very doable.  She has to be ready to take on a commitment with a clear head about what she is doing and why she is doing it.  If she is not ready, she should wait.  But she should also know that the biggest regret most people have after VSG, is that they waited so very long.  Good luck to her, no matter what she chooses to do.

To Elina's wise response, I would only add that she is not guaranteed of success with surgery, but failure is almost certain without it.