Moderation

This is a great thread.  LOTS to think about.
 
For the first almost year post-surgery, I didn't play around with the guidelines.  For me, they were RULES, and I am a follow-the-rules kind of girl :)

As time has gone on, and I've neared goal, I'm "moderating" some.  And seeing some warning/danger signs.  Instead of measuring out 18 almonds, I grab a handful.  Then another.  Or eating because I *want* something, not because I'm hungry or it's time to fuel my body.  

I am reading all these posts on this subject with great interest.  I took Elina's words to heart when she said to have a plan.  I am trying to come up with a good, solid, workable plan when I am feeling not-so-strong, and want that *something.*  And I think Rob has alluded to this, too.  What I plan to do is stop for a moment or two and think about what I'm FEELING.  "Okay, I want to munch on something ... am I sad or lonely or bored, WHAT?"  And then acknowlege the feelings.  Then I can decide what/if I am going to do about it.  Maybe journal it.  Or paint my nails.  Or have a sugarfree popsicle instead of something more dangerous.  But just wanting something to munch on, and grabbing something from the kitchen or pantry without thinking about it, is going to lead to real trouble for me, if I don't get a handle on it.

That's the plan!

Moderation is the key..... How many times have I heard that?! 

My surgeon's goal for his patients is for them to learn to eat like normies. Well what my skewed idea of normal was and what his is, were two VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. His goal for me to eat moderately when I finish with WL is very different from what I considered moderate prior to VSG. My idea of moderation was ANYTHING I WANTED IN SMALL PORTIONS - which I"ve never been able to do.

His idea of moderate was eating like a normal person. A person who makes caloric choices throughout the day - everyday. My dad is a normie and does that and has never really been more than 10 pounds over weight. Me, I don't know how yet. I'm hoping to learn during weightloss how to sustain making those choices into maintenance. IT's scary. I know how to lose weight. I'm not so good about the maintaining part! So, everyday I practice being moderate by making choices, tacking my food and water and making choices on what will be best for me to eat that day to reach my goals and be successful. That's how I'm learning to be moderate. I have a feeling I will be practicing for a lifetime! 

I guess my question is, what the hell is moderation?  Talk about a slippery slope. 

I think all of us here have already proven that we don't know what "moderation" is or we wouldn't have needed the VSG.

Thank you so much for posting this.  I need to think about it.  I'm so early in my journey (8 days) that I'm still feeling my way, and people like you are the light-bringers.

And now, off to post something that may be "wrong" and if it is, I hope people like you will let me know!

I agree 110%.
It doesn't make sense for me to be able to lose weight eating snack size bags of cheetos, fun size kit kats, & small McD's French fries during my weight loss phase.
It's so important to change our eating habits for the most part if we want successful weight loss.

Moderation does not establish good eating habits. It actually does the opposite and encourages what got us all here in the first place. If I could moderate I would have never have been overweight. I got surgery to have a healthy lifestyle not to cheat my sleeve with smaller portions of unhealthy food.

Yeah Frisco. How many doctors told me to practice moderation in eating before wls. It didntt seem to work for many before wls so why would it after. It may be a matter of semantics but moderation implies excactly what you suggest - venturing into modest amounts of otherwise unhealthy food with the idea that our willpower will keep us from overindulging. Big FAT lie.

Elina is right that everyone in maintenance needs to develop a strategy for situations when faced with off program foods. Simply promising yourself that you will have them "in moderation" is probably not a good enough plan. Our restriction and ghrelin reduction gives us a lot but our new slim selves and changed attitudes now need to be the main tool that keeps us at our new weight. Restriction 2 years out does no good with the krispy kremes (thankfully we have none in this little town).  Self respect and changed habits and attitudes are what will keep us where we need to be.

Diane

 Frisco, you just couldn't be happy for Ruggie having the most popular post could you?  

Well, If the truth be known......

I'm one of ruggie's biggest fans!

We come from the same program..... Same school..... Same teacher......I'm just a year or so ahead in time..... Not knowledge......

I'm just an Ex-Fat Guy that is trying to make this work......

My biggest hope is that the Levi's I wear today......fit tomorrow .............

frisco

Well I want to point out that Frisco had a lot more weight to lose than I did, like an extra 100 pounds!

So you guys talk about philosophy - and what moderation means.  For me, like others, "moderation" was justification for eating large amount of bad crap before surgery.  And the same thing is happening here with a few select patients.

Look around - look at the people that got to their goal weight.  Do you think they got there by eating junk?  Getting greasy, highly processed fast food that's slathered in butter, pumped full of preservatives, made with the lowest quality of meat allowed and stuffing it down into their tiny stomachs? 

It's one thing to say "I engaged in moderation by adding an ounce of fruit" or "I had some extra calories at my friend's wedding".  It's another thing to say "I engaged in moderation by returning to fast food restaurants where less than three months out from surgery I'm already able to consume half a regular sized portion of a crapwich and not only am I'm going to brag about it I'm also going to admit that I was driven by emotional eating and then resist all calls to deal with said emotional eating and oh yeah, keep paying attention to me." 

TripMom says "You're not a dog - don't reward yourself with food".  Brilliant.  It was hard, and painful, and took time, but I learned when I was having a bad day to not turn to fast food.  There's extra calories, there's off-plan ratios like the ton of carbs in a bagel that can help break restriction, and the fact that it's just about the lowest quality digestible food you can actually place in your body.  I think Happy and Elina both have mentioned this before - we all come here with at least SOME fashion of eating disorder no matter our biochemistries - and I see those owning up to that and dealing with it not only being more successful, but happier.

So keep posting Frisco - your postings really helped me along in my journey, and helped me to also get to 100% excess weight loss, and helped me to not just be less fat, but more healthy by eating well.  Ultimately, this is a sign of how we love ourselves - by what we put in our bodies. 

So for those of you who want to post about how you want your messages of "moderation" (enabling behavior) to be heard, you're just going to have to tolerate the warnings of others who also want their messages to be heard of as well.  You always have the option of using the Block button - but then you'll just have commiseration, and not guidance.  Sadly, commiseration is not proven to acceleration weight loss or healthy bodies.

Well said!