Discouraging parent

 So I'm 1 dr visit away from submitting to insurance and now my mom wants to tell me she doesn't think this is going to be safe. She is worried about the long term complications and the possibility of dying during surgery. I've always been pretty fearless but now she had me worried. What if she is right... Idk what to do. 

Do your research and then show mom the research.  Talk to other people who have had this done, not just the success stories but the ones not so successful.  Then do more research on why they were not so successful.  You are the only one who can decide if this is right for you.

Kristi

There will always be risks with any surgery - will always be the "what ifs"


It comes down to whether the potential benefits to you outweigh those risks - the risk of serious complications is really low, the risk of dying is really low - so you have to make that determination.

 Thanks for sharing. I guess she just thinks this gonna be for vanity due to me having no comorbidities. I guess she doesn't understand that being my weight could lead to those things down the road. She got me when she said I would be leaving my kids behind. After looking around at different forums I still believe this is best for me. I'm tired of hiding behind my weight. I'm ready to live again. In turn I believe this will also benefit my kids. Thanks again for replying. 

A lot of people on this forum have kids too.  Being able to be a better active father was one of my motivations for having surgery.

Would you rather die young and see your kids watch you struggle with obesity your entire life?

Like others have said...the risks are very low but are there.  Just be confident in your surgeon and know what you are getting into.

I waited until maybe 3 weeks before my surgery date to tell my parents because I knew what the reaction would be. They are very "old school".  It was a rough conversation and my mom reacted in a way similar to yours. She said I was going to die. She said my kids father was going to get custody of them. A lot of negativity over those weeks to the extent that we didn't talk. Well the day before surgery, my parents and sister came to my house, not to talk me out of it, but to support me. Now that I'm on the other side of surgery, there have been nothing but positive, supportive vibes. My mom even insisted I stay at her house when I was released from the hospital. I think more than anything, it was fear that caused her to not want me to have surgery.

Hang in there. Do what's best for you. Good Luck!

Moms get paid to worry no matter how old their children get! I am glad she feels comfortable enough to share her worries with you but just try to reassure her that you need to do this to protect your children, not harm them. I didn't have any comorbidities either but I was sure on the path to getting several of them and it was only a matter of time. My children are grown and I wish I had done this when they were young.

I had almost the opposite reaction in that my mom had rny bypass in 2000 so she knows surgery etc. But i took my mom with me to appt with surgeon so she could meet surgeon and ask her questions about sleeve etc because things are different (my Mom had open rny bypass with dif surgeon thru same hospital system)

Do they truly know all the long tern effects..NO. 

Do people dye from this...YES.

Are you on a faster road to dying now...YES.

If you make this decision on the un-educated opinions of others...your not ready for weight loss surgery.

Research and educate yourself and her but ultimately this is your decision.

Good Luck!

 I know it is tough to have somebody who loves you unconditionally try to talk you out of it.  My husband didn't want me to do it either, because he was afraid.  He supported me prior to surgery, but if it were his decision it would not have happened.  He was ridiculously relieved after surgery that I was ok, and far far more nervous then I was going into surgery.  Within the first month he knew beyond a shadow of doubt it was the right decision, and that he too was going to pursue surgery as a result.  Well, ends up he lost 85 pounds just by supporting me over the last 6 months so he no longer needs surgery.  In the end you have to do what is right for you.  Your mom will come around when she sees the drastic imrprovement in the quality of your life.  Be prepared to take a little grief for the first two weeks or so while you are healing, but once you pass that point you will feel pretty darn normal- and then the weight loss starts to add up and you feel friggin' awesome.  Hang in there!