Being less self focused.

 It is very interesting that as I lose weight, I become less self focused.  Meaning, before, all I thought about was how BIG I was and what others thought of me.  Was I the biggest in the room, would I find a comfortable chair, would I fit in a restaurant booth, would I get winded going on a walk with a friend, would the walk contain too many big hills, are others watching me eat, do I embarrass my family?  All those things, and more, constantly ran through my mind, it never gave me a rest.  I always thought that taking the time to care about me, in regards to what I ate or for exercise was a self focus.  But those things have freed me in so many ways.  Losing weight has freed me from the constant negative self talk.  I am finding I actually take time now to truly listen to others and their needs.  My mind and emotions are not so focused on me and can have the time and energy to truly care for others.  So weird to think about, seems like a bit of a paradox in some ways.  Thankful to God for this new blessing and pray it continues to grow during this journey.  

So thankful how my body, mind and soul have changed, with the help of counseling and finally being true to my emotions, good and bad, and finally being honest with myself and doing something about it.  It has not been a perfect journey or an easy one, but it has been one filled with learning to like myself and being free from so many lifelong struggles.  

What a wonderful and refreshing post. Thanks for sharing your insight into your changes and how weight loss has made the difference.

What a great post Adeanna!  I too have found that the biggest change I've made post-VSG is an internal one...in my mind, as opposed to how I look.  How I look has definitely changed with the weight loss, but the real change is inside.  I've changed my views on food (fuel not entertainment), exercise (my body loves it in moderation), and certainly how I interact with other people (their needs versus mine) has changed too.  Isn't it amazing?!

Keep up the good work!

Best,

Fiona

Isn't it amazing?!? I found I have freed myself from...well myself. From the negative self talk, from the worry, and the preoccupation of size.

I am free to actually live my life, not jus****ch it go by.

Thanks everyone for your posts. Another amazing blessing is that I am free to truly like thin people now. Ha! Before you take me in a wrong way, I will state this. Previously, at my heaviest weight, 315, I would look at thin people with an envy. Well, not even an envy, almost like they were set apart some how. Blessed in a way I could not be blessed. Even though I am only half way to goal, my mind has changed its view of naturally thin people. I finally realize that we are all the same down deep and that God intended our bodies to be lean and fit. When I look at my best friend, who is a beautiful 115, just naturally, I see a blessing from God, for her. I also see a possibility for me. I now know I can be at a healthy weight and enjoy life. I think what I saw in her before was how effortlessly she was able to accomplish things and I was jealous. Jealous and angry with myself for robbing myself of that blessing.

Anyway, I have a new fondness for naturally thin people now. Who knows, someday, someone may mistake me for one.