Five more days . . . will I make it? (Long)

Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 10:22 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12
 Oh my - my VSG is scheduled for Tuesday - Sept 18 - it's been a long time coming - been thinking about it for over a year - am self-pay - had to figure out where to get money - chose a COE surgeon and facility - feel good about my choices - so glad I don't have to do a pre op diet - just liquids and bowel prep day before - was doing pretty good but this morning - WHAM!!  I've had an EGD and cardiac stress test - they were fine so where did my mind go???  This morning I felt a pain in my left breast - naturally my mind went to breast cancer (I know - I'm an anxious person) - I felt around - my breasts are large - I can't really feel anything but I can't get it out of my mind.  I had a mammogram last December - fine,  but my mind goes back to my mother and paternal grandmother having breast cancer (both survived) and my own history ( 11 years ago)with kidney cancer.  I don't want to be a nut case - I just want this worry to go away.  My gosh - the mind can do horrible things right when I think I am sailing along - ready for this change - now I have this nagging thought.  
Anyone else go through this - thinking other things were wrong before surgery??  

Tuesday can't come fast enough.  I was so planning a few last great meals but I have been sick to my stomach the last few days - guessing it is anxiety - not even able to have those meals.  Tell me it gets better - thinking I will have myself sick by Tuesday for real. 
Shagdoll
on 9/13/12 3:26 am, edited 9/13/12 3:27 am
Gurl, hugs to you!!!!
I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers that everything is OK with you. I've felt breast pain before too & I think we women automatically assume the worst. Just get checked out if you can, then try your best to stay postive.
I'm excited your day is finally almost here. Best of luck with everything!

   Jenn  

 WWBD?  

 

Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 11:00 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12
 Well I have a call into my PCP asking her if I can have an ultrasound - she knows I get anxious - hoping she says yes and I can get in tomorrow for the ultrasound just so I can relax about it.  Course over the weekend - who knows what I may think I have wrong, lol.  
Hope she gets back to me soon - would like to enjoy at least one good meal before Tuesday and I sure as Hell hope nothing is wrong.
Thanks for your good thoughts!
mimij
on 9/13/12 10:30 am - McDonough, GA
VSG on 10/03/12
I know exactly how you feel. I am 3 weeks away from surgery. I am imagining every kind of tragedy that could happen between now and then, like having a car accident, having a heart attack or stroke, I could go on and on. And I am not a crazy person!
If you can't feel anything in your breast and your mammo was fine, you will have another in December. I bet this is just psychosomatic. Relax and I will too!

MIMI  Highest weight 215  SW 203  GW 125   M1 -22  M2 -12  M3 -11  M4 -7  M5 -10  M6 -5  M7 -6  M8 -5  M9 -4  M10 -3  In maintenance since June 2013  HT- 5'2"  

        

    

Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 11:01 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12
 I hope you are right - have a call in to my PCP - we'll see if she gives me the go ahead for an ultrasound before surgery.  
Take care and try to relax - easy to say - hard to do.
Ladybug C.
on 9/13/12 11:17 am
VSG on 10/11/12
How serious these thoughts are but I am so glad that I am not the only one going looney over her...My date is Oct. 11 and I have damn near killed myself with horrible thoughts to the point that I totally passed out 2 weeks ago....I was given the advice to counter a negative thought with a positive and its working....and I'm finding comfort in talking to a couple of my friends who have had WLS. I also attended a support group meeting last night at the hospital where my surgery will take place. It helped tremendously....You're right the mind plays horrible tricks on us. I'm just relieved to know this craziness is not just consuming me....I have company....LOL....I know I will be fine and so will you
Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 11:48 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12
 OMG - I'd probably be crazy for sure if I had to do three more weeks, lol.  I ended up in the hospital while out of town 3 weeks ago with chest pain - was admitted for two nights to undergo stress tests, etc.  Turned out - was either indigestion or anxiety.  The mind can do awful things to our body even though we know what we are doing is right.   
chiefsgirl3
on 9/13/12 11:22 am - IL
VSG on 06/05/12
 I get little fibroid and caffeine cysts all the time. And the caffeine ones can cause pain for sure. 
        
Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 11:46 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12
 I don't use caffeine so I don't think that is the problem.  Just waiting othear from my PCP (sure taking her office long enough!!) but then I am anxious.
Ohiogirl
on 9/13/12 6:49 am, edited 9/13/12 6:49 am - OH
VSG on 10/02/12

Big help my PCP was - she said it is probably just nerves - go have the surgery and then if you still feel it - then we'll check it.  I did explain (cried) how much I was concerned and even if it is nerves - wouldn't it be better for me to know before going through a life altering surgery.  Boy no compassion from her - she said go to ER if I am really THAT concerned.  Guess I'll be looking for a new PCP after surgery.
Not sure - afraid if I go to ER they will just say - call your dr during business hours and set up ultrasound, besides I  have an additional $100 charge for ER visits.  Just pis-es me off !!!

And then I think - what if is something - that is a whole other nightmare!!!
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