1 year post op today. Pics & thoughts

I have been thinking about this post for awhile. First I felt bad, I promised I was not going to be one of those who just disappear but I did. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be here , it was just I didn’t have anything to contribute. After my last dr appt end of July I haven’t been very diligent. I have been living life. Sure, I could have been following low carb but for the first time ever in my life I decided that instead I wanted to just go out, live and not be focused on what I was eating for the first time in my adult life. Sure I made some bad choices but I didn’t feel bad about it.

So after this hiatus what happened? Well, it wasn’t disaster! I didn’t gain all my weight back etc. I was 209 in July and was 214 by end of October.  5lbs, that was all! I was so happy because that meant that despite myself this tool has trained me so that I am able to maintain some self control even when not conscious. This, my friends is a good thing.

So where am I today?  I had my surgery 1 year ago exactly on 11/21/2011. My dr used a 40F. High weight was summer 2011 at 334lbs. Day of surgery 313. My initial goal was to weigh 199lbs. I am happy to say that I hit that and now weigh 199. That safe fat girl in my didn’t want to set my goal for more. I couldn’t imagine being out of the 200’s so 199 seemed a safe place. If I could be 199 I would be ecstatic. Truth, I am! Truth is also, I can do more.  I am currently wearing some 12’s up to 16’s in pants depending on the cut (funny I have size 12 skinny jeans from Macys that fit great and size 14 slacks from Lane Bryant that won’t come close to buttoning). Shirts are a L or XL.

Where do I go now? I have a dr appt on 11/29 for my 1 year post op, I am very very excited about this. My dr set my initial goal to hit as 154 eventually (not at 1 year) but his goal for 1 year I was already past at my 6 month in July. I don’t think I want to hit that 154. My husband says with my boobs I would look like 2 watermelons on toothpicks. I am thinking 185ish is my next goal then I will re-evaluate. I would also like clothing wise to be firmly in a size 10. Truth is I like my curves. Except the extra skin (which I figure is about 5lbs worth) I am very content with how I look now.  I have started Kinect and am really focusing on toning up some. If I can tighten up just a bit it will really show clothing wise.

photos are 11/21/11 vs 11/21/12 (I apologize for the fuzzy not so good pics, was in a rush) - 135lbs. Not the best clothes for showing my new body but I wanted to do something similar to a year ago (yes, it is the same shirt so it is too big and doesnt show my true shape)

Last one was at a party a couple weeks ago. People who hadn't seen me in awhile didn't recognize me.

I really like your post and think it is really valid and truthful.  It is easy for me to forget at times that different people have different goals.  I think your story is more common than you think and as long as you are in a happy place with it, then more power to you.  It all depends on where we are mentally with this whole thing.  My only cautious note, (because I just can't help myself, ignore if it's not helpful). is that it seems from your post that you gained about five pounds in 3-4 months, that means a 15-20 pound weight gain a year.  If you extrapolate that to five years out, it could be a problem.  Fortunately, this is all in your hands.  Good luck to you and than you for the update.

Thanks so much for your words. Yes, that 4-5lb gain in 4 months wasnt great, but I was very aware at all times. I didnt go off the rails at all. I had given myself a 5lb window during the summer. I had wanted to go ahead and live. As long as I can remember I have had such guilt over what I ate. I was really just looking for a break from that. I wanted to go to the carnival and have a couple treats and not feel like a horrible person because of it.

I also wanted to test myself to see if I would be able to really keep it in control and most importantly get back on track when I needed to. When needed I did get back on track and have lost 15lbs this month so far which tells me that I for once am in control. I can indulge, I can have some carbs at Thanksgiving and a taste of fudge at Christmas and it is not going to completely cause me to justify eating crap for who knows how long.

For me, that is exactly what I needed. I don't want to spend the next 50 years fretting over food. I dont want to spend the next 50 years afraid of a little gain. I want to spend the next 50 years being active, enjoying life and with that having some unhealthy eating moments. Camping, Tubing down the river, Going to Great Wolf, Zoo trips etc...they all were a blast and yes I didnt eat good all the time.

AMEN.  You've done fantastically.  I, too, look forward to not letting what I eat rule my consciousness.  I'm effing over it.  I love knowing that, with the help of the sleeve, this time around my efforts will stick.

Thanks for sharing your story!

CONGRATULATIONS on living life and enjoying it again! Isn't that the ultimate goal for us all? My first goal was to get off my blood pressure and cholesterol meds - check done. Reduce my borderline diabetes - check done. Enjoy life - definitely in the process of that now. And now, as I get close to goal I want to be able to use food as fuel and not as a crutch. I think I'm pretty close to being there too. Loved, loved, loved your post and thank you!! Hope you have a wonderful holiday and enjoy it! I will.  

Carrierae - do you go to any of the support group meetings at NW Hospital?  They are really helpful.  Dr C also has a facebook page where we support each other it would be nice to have you on it.

Oh and I meant to say Congrats on your loss!!  You have a great attitude and I'm sure Dr C will tell you that your are a Rock Star!