Why can't I just say NO? (sorry long post)

I just thought of something - have low levels of Vitamin D can make someone really, really tired and low energy.  Make sure you get your Vit D levels checked!

Also -- AA Meetings are free!  It is a wonderful Program, and it teaches you a beautiful way of life. Seriously, everyone of us could use that Program for the beautiful things it teaches.

I wish this forum had a "like" button like FB... This is along the lines of what I would say. Get your LABS run!... it is SHOCKING how just having a vitamin off in your body can cause all kinds of issues.

Your WL doctor would do the labs and make sure they do a FULL panel to check all vitamins.

A co-worker had high calcium and was sleeping @ his desk and in his car during work. He wasn't lazy, he calcium was too high( SCARY HIGH ).

Don't beat yourself up... get checked out!

I just want to give you a great big fat Italian hug!!!

You may need an anti depressant and a big hug.  There is such a thing called SAD.  During the winter months when the days are shorter, some people suffer from depression.  My theory is that people whose ancestors come from a sunny climate may have more difficulty with this than others.

Of course there is that old hormonal thing going on too.  Yours could still be out of whack.  You probably have several things going on that are making you feel the way you do.

I know from personal experience that we Italians think about food as a good thing.  When it gets taken away, we mourn for a long long time, maybe forever.  Your coping mechanism has been taken away.  It is very hard to replace something which is so deeply ingrained at every level.

You are a beautiful girl.  You need to focus on how great you look and how to improve on the physical rewards you are going to get by saying no to chocolate and other snacky junk.  I find that vanity even over health will get me motivated more than anything.  I bet you are probably a great cook.  While this can be a curse, it can also be a blessing too.

I wish you lived closer so we could get together and commiserate and encourage each other.  I will be your online Italian autie if you wish. 

Excuses, yes, I have a million of them.  Yesterday we had a horrendous storm.  We had to go out last night and more our cars to higher ground.  We were not even sure if it was safe to stay in our house.  I had made a beef stroganoff for dinner, but I was so stressed out that we went to the local pizza palour for dinner.  Carbs!!!  I needed carbs to calm me down.  I had a slice of pizza and a couple of ravioli. 

Right now I am stuck in the house because I am surrounded by water.  My husband will have to walk through a bunch of water to go get one of the cars so we can leave the house.  Nothing like cabin fever to make you mow down everything edible in the kitchen to keep you from murdering said husband.

Anyway, you are not alone.  I am sure that you and I are in the majority but just don't fess up for fear of being pounced on by folks who have better control of their hands and mouths!!!

LOL you're post really made me smile.  An Italian Auntie is just what I needed! 

Yes, food was, is, and will always be a big deal in my house and my family's house. My husband is also Italian (and a great cook) and while he is healthy, he has a BIG appetite.  I do most of the cooking so I can tailor it to my needs but that boy can eat!  I usually never have left overs lol.

Thanks for your post and cyber hug.  The support I get here is really helping me see my issues and learn to deal with them.  And I will.  I just needed a boost of motivation but I have a lot of plans now to move forward.  I love shopping and my goal is to get into this amazing bathing suit by summer time from JCrew.  THAT right there is a great way for me to say no to the junk!

First of all, please stop beating yourself up. Please stop thinking in terms of there being something wrong with yourself, or saying that you are lazy, or saying that you are looking for excuses. You  are obviously NOT lazy -- I know this because of all of the hard work you have done so far, and the success you have had. You are courageous - I know this because of the honesty and transparency of your post. It is not easy to talk about these things. Depression -- which you very well may have -- is NOT an excuse, or laziness. It is an illness, probably the most common illness in the world, by the way, so you/we have a LOT of company, and it is an illness that can be treated successfully, rather readily.

You have received some excellent advice here from our OH friends. Yes, please immediately contact your regular doctor to tell him/her what you have been experiencing. Maybe he/she will have a resource for you for finding a therapist. Maybe he/she might be willing to prescribe a mild antidepressant medication, if that is what is needed. Antidepressant meds are a wonderful tool, and none of us should hesitate to use them if they are needed. Depression with weight loss may not seem to make sense on the surface, but I think that the weight loss "uncovers" potentially profound -- and painful -- issues. That is a good thing, but it must be met with transparency --which you have, and with wisdom -- which you also have, because you have wisely recognized that alcohol may be an issue for you, and you are wise to realize that alcohol may now present an especial risk to you as a weight loss patient. Facing weight-loss related depression also requires the willingness to use available resources -- which, again you are demonstrating, because you are turning to us here on the OH boards, and you are willing to take advantage of other resources available to you in your community.

You've got some really good things going on here. You have great self-understanding. Now your next step is to build on these strengths.

You could call your Human Resources department at your employer -- you could even call anonymously - to ask if employees have access to an Employee Assistance Program -- EAP -- which would give you a few sessions with a therapist with no out-of-pocket expense to you. Sounds like your deepening concerns are beginning to impact your work life, and that is what EAP is there for. After the several sessions are over, you might be able to continue with the therapist through your insurance. Ask about that during the first session with the therapist. EAP is supposed to be confidential -- your employer should NOT, I think, be made aware of the identities of those employees who use the EAP.

Attending AA meetings is an excellent idea...also, there is of course Overeaters Anonymous. OA. Both are no charge. They are not therapy and do not take the place of therapy, but they provide superb social support and tools for coping with alcohol and excess food issues. Possibly the best thing of all is that you are in the NYC area -- yes, the subways are not perhaps the most sanitized in the world, but if there is a helpful resource or program, you can surely find it in NYC. See what is available in that resource-rich, creativity-rich city of yours...

Do not hesitate to follow up on what you are correctly feeling that you need. Follow your instincts and wisdom. From where I stand, there is nothing "wrong" with you -- you just have a deeply entrenched, emotionally complicated pattern of coping with life, and weight loss has forced you to change that pattern, and now you have to create new, hopefully more healthy/helpful patterns, which ain't easy.

Thank you for posting  -- you have helped many with it.

Be well, my friend...

==swizzlequeen

Thanks for your post Swizzle.  I really appreciate it!  I did call my EAP program and they do offer help but the search function on their website for therapists is really annoying and when I would call the therapists on the list they were like HUH? what's this EAP thing you speak of?  *sigh*  At this point I'm just trying to find a therapist who will take my insurance since the EAP thing doesn't seem to align with it. 

I completely missed the paragraph where you talked about you blahs. I had them too at about 4 months. I didn't feel like exercising I hated thinking about what I was eating and I was mean. Honestly and you are not going to want to hear this, step it up in the gym. Force yourself to go like your life depends on it (because it does) and I promise the exercising will get you out of the blahs. I think I was also experimenting with carb cycling during that time so 1 day a week I was getting 100 carbs instead of 40. That might have helped too but its a dangerous road to walk. You have to be very disciplined to get as low as you can the day following the high carb day  with like 0 to 10 carbs. Its hard.

I am not a big fan of antidepressents, they hinder weight loss. Find and focus on the things in your life that make you happy. Continue to talk with your husband but it would not hurt to find someone else objective to talk to as well. Also posting here really helps me not matter how harsh the responses are.

Yup, you're totally right.  I DO need to step it up with the exercise.  My goal is to start the couch to 5K program.  My office has a small gym in the basement with basic equipment.  I'm going to attempt the unthinkable...waking up EARLY and running on the treadmill at work before the day starts.  I am NOT a morning person but I think I will be more motivated to do it in the morning rather than on my lunch break or after work.  I'm also habitually late to work so maybe this will help with that too! LOL.

I see a couple of problems with what you said here that sound a bit like sabotage. 1st if you are not a morning person you are not going to become one because you want to get up and run (set up for failure). It would be a great way to start the day but get a few training sessions under your belt before you try that. I would suggest running in the evenings. 2nd you are thinking that starting the C25K is a goal, what is holding you up? it starts small and goes big. You have to just go out and do it. Put on some sneakers and go. The first week starts with a 5 min brisk walk, 1 min jog, 1 min 30 seconds of walking (do this 6 times and finish with a 5 min walk) do that three days of the first week. Its simple. Its hard the first day but the 2nd day isn't so bad. JUST DO IT!

I would recommend not running on a treadmill for the C25K for 2 reasons. #1 no 5k's are indoors on treadmills. #2 sounds like you spend a lot of time indoors, the fresh air and scenery will do you a lot of good. If there is a park nearby with a running trail, you will really like it, if not find a route through your neighborhood. I do both. Its only 30 mins 3 days a week. Get started!

The habitually late to work is probably because you are depressed, you will feel so good after the first week. I was surprised. The 2nd week is a bit tougher but again nothing you can't handle.

I will say I switched my running shoes for my 2nd day to a good pair from a running store where they evaluated how I walked and it makes a huge difference, so if you are committed it is worth the investment.

The gym you should do on days opposite of when you run. For strength training start with your legs (biggest muscle biggest calorie burn) and then the next time you train do your arms and chest.

My husband actually said the same thing about jogging outside and not on the treadmill.  My only concern is that the weather is quite nasty here in NYC LOL  Maybe I can do it a bit on the treadmill and once the weather gets nicer continue outside?  or start over outside?  I'm very bottom heavy and while I do intense cardio kickboxing I really don't want flabby thighs/butt (such a girl problem, I know). 

I actually think even though I hate waking up early, I function better/have more energy in the morning than I do in the afternoon.  Like right now, I feel exhausted but I'm going to kickboxing at 7:30 with the husband.  Problem is I go home first and have around 45 minutes to kill...I can't sit down because I know I will never get back up!  I will probably have a protein shake or something when I go home to up my energy for the class.