Why can't I just say NO? (sorry long post)

ok, so if you are going to do the treadmill, I recommend not starting C25****il it gets a bit nicer and you can do it outside. Walk on the treadmill at at least a 2% incline (work up to 4) and at least a 3mph pace and if you have a stationary bike, alternate 30 mins on each. For fat loss walking is better than running and the treadmill is pretty good for that. Running on the road is much harder than on a tread mill. I can do an hour on a treadmill and barely break a sweat and 3 minutes of running will soak me down.

I know you have a lot that you put out there.  My suggestion is just decide that today you will log your food and you will follow the rules today.  Once you do it one day, then try again the next day.  Step back and remember why you put yourself through major surgery, not once but twice.  Go back to some old photos, put on some old clothes and try to remember how miserable you felt and how limited you were in your former body.  If you don't put on the brakes NOW, you may end up there again quicker than you realize it.

There are lots of reasons you ended up where you were, and you may need to go ahead and deal with it now, no matter how painful.

Log EVERYTHING you eat on My Fitness Pal and buddy up with someone on here, but be honest, it only works if you are willing to put it out there, good, bad and ugly.

I wish you the best.  Please remember that you are worth it, you really are a great person & do this for YOU!

Hugs!

Great advice...just take it one day, one step at a time.  Today I can work on one thing and if I can accomplish that one thing then I can add to it tomorrow.  Exactly what I need to do.

Good advice has been given here. I just want to reach out and give you a hug! I hope you seek a therapist who will help guide you. Thinking of you!

 

Sounds like a bit of depression, and not laziness to me.... A lot of good thoughts here on OH: medication, hormones, after effects of anesthesia, even mourning the death of your best friend - Food! 

 

A lot of people have this type of self-sabotaging behaviors; many times the behaviors are rooted in our childhood.  For now your job is to discover how you can overcome those behaviors. 

 

For a start pick one thing today you want to accomplish, even if it is to get off the couch and get dressed.  What I was taught is to pick a thing to work on.  As an example clean house, or walk on treadmill.  Pick an amount of time I think I can accomplish successfully, even if it is only 30 seconds.  Set a timer and get going.  When the timer goes off in 30 seconds, stop.  Reevaluate, if you can keep working, if you can set the timer again.  By only working during the time set on the timer we are beginning to reteach our brains. We are starting and completing the task in front of us.  Your task is not to clean the whole house; it is to wor****il the timer rings.  My mother (who has struggled with depression her whole life says, “Sometimes the hardest part of a job is just getting off the couch.” Keep working as long as you want, just make sure you work the entire time you have on the timer, and reset if needed.

 

Now I am getting up off the couch to set my timer and get my backsplash tile completed!  (And call my new therapist…)

 

Laurie

 

My friend is a therapist in Bend, OR - wonder if it is her?

Hello Danixbanani!!

I join you in feeling frustrated with the lack of helpful response from supposed EAP therapists...does the website have a phone number for the EAP organization itself? I am thinking that they could help you. If you feel comfortable, you could also maybe talk to your Human Resources department about this problem -- they are paying good money for their employees to have access to this service, and it should NOT be this difficult for you to get that service!

Again, you are getting lovely suggestions from the folks on OH -- exercise is a wonderful addition to anyone's anti-depressant arsenal...for me, sometimes a walk outside does the trick. I always yearn to stroll the Highline Park, and I LOVE walking along that walkway that goes south from Battery City Park, walk, walk, walk, carry with me some yummy hot tea, wave hello to the Statue of Liberty (Last time I was in Manhattan I stayed at the Jane Hotel, and from the bathroom I could see her! I am convinced that she would watch over me as I brushed my teeth :) and that she wants us all to be in good health...)  Yes, it is a cold time of year, but it is not currently snowing, is it? Get thyself bundled up, and go for a walk! I sure wish that I could join you...

Be good to yourself, gentle and kind. That might include pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, but do it. You have lotsa wisdom. I trust that wisdom. Listen to it, and enjoy it....

By the way, Dr Michelle May, MD has a website about her book "Eat What You Love, Love What YOu Eat", all about mindful eating, and a new book for bariatric surgery patients. Dr Judith Beck, PhD has a website I think about her book "The Beck Diet Solution", which focuses on changing thought patterns about food. I think that both of them have online classes or coaching, for a fee. Again, neither of them are a substitute for therapy, but I think that they may be great places to start, to get support.

Antidepressant meds indeed are not appropriate for every one or every situation. But if there is true clinical depression, it can get in the way of everything else that the person wants to accomplish in their life. I continue to urge you to share with your doctor the problems that you have described for us here today.

Take care of yourself! We care about you :)

==Swizzlequeen

I will try calling the EAP program again to tell them I'm having more of a problem.  I live in Brooklyn but work in Manhattan and as you know there are plenty of therapists in Manhattan!! lol

Funny you mention snow, we're getting hit today with some crazy ass snow storm!!!  I have to walk about 5-6 blocks (city blocks are long, sigh) to get to the subway in the morning and while I wi**** wasn't so long, walking in the snow is enjoyable for me.  Tomorrow is supposed to be 57 though!!  Snow will be gone and perhaps can take a longer walk with the hubby :)  Thankfully we live right by a park and we walk to our kickboxing gym class on Saturday mornings (20 blocks to walk to get there!).

Thank you so much for your kind words and helpful response.  I've gotten so much great advice here and I'm definitely taking the steps to move forward :)

((((((((hugs)))))))) to you sweetie!  I could have written a lot of this and I'm 2 years out!  Def dealing with the self-sabotage thing right now and was just talking bout food addiction with my therapist tonight. I also have alcoholism in my family and even though in my case I responded by never drinking, I've definitely got the addictive thing going on, with some other sucky self-soothing behaviors. I've also got depression, which for me, personally has been chronic, and it definitely sounds like you've got some of that going on. And it's not an excuse. As mentioned above, it's an illness, like your pancreas not making enough insulin, except it's your brain chemicals. Would tou be mad at yourself if you were diabetic!  Okay then. And, I would never just do meds by themselves b/c I think therapy of some kind is key. But they may be orth a try. Probably setting up an appt w/your regular doc to get checked for medical causes would be a good first step and she or he might even be able to start you on a low dose of something if tests don't show anything

Sorry this is so long. Too much personal and professional experience making my nose twitch!  Really hope this is a situational/short-term thing. And 30 seconds at a time is my mantra some days!  Be kind to yourself!  You're doing a great job!  Feel free to PM if it would help!  

thanks so much for your response.  I'm seeing my surgeon next week so I plan to talk to him about it and get another check of my levels.  Then I will def. make a therapist appointment.  It can't hurt, right?  I love the support I get from this group here on OH.  I didn't expect the responses that I got!  It's so amazing.  :)