am I the only one?
Isn't it just crazy how the noises have changed. Before surgery we were probably hungry and tummy growling all the time and wishing it would shut up...now when we eat it wont shut up... it's definately weird feeling all the gurgles as food goes down now.
HW 315; Surgery Date 3/19/13, SW 300.5; PreOp: 14.9, W1-4: 21.2, W5-8: 15, W9-12: 13.4, W13-16:
I don't know where to start but I'll just jump in there....
I really had to address my issue with food and overeating. I needed to figure out why I couldn't stop eating and that vicious cyle of binging, feeling shame, feeling depressed and then eating again. The psychologist I went to told me a wonderful thing that I had never really thought of. She said that because in my childhood, my role was the lost child and later in my adulthood, I became and enabler, I turned to food because food didn't need anything from me. I am in that sandwich generation, raising a kid and taking care of aging parents (one of which is disabled partly due to being morbidly obese). Food was my ulitmate comfort. I had to and continue to deal with how food affects me emotionally.
I got sick and tired of being the fat girl. Going out shopping for clothes was a total drag. Being tired and never going to the gym. I was determined that I wanted more out of my life and also, I never want to become a burden on my oncly child like my parents have done to me.
This proess isn't for sissies. It's for those who damn determined to make better choices and live a healthier, stronger life. It's for people who see the bigger picture and won't let the smell of pizza, hamburgers, french firies, and other unhealthy foods overome their emotions and defeat their efforts. I also keep in mind that it's not like I have never tasted all the things I used to eat and maybe one day I can eat a little bit of those things but if I never eat greasy pizza again, then my heart and waistline will thank me for it in the end. I have had to change my whole perception about food. This is what VSG has brought me to. Instead of obsessing about bread, pasta, and peanut butter, I focus soleel on my protein, fluids, and exercise. When I get that head hunger, I stop and remind myself what my ture goals are. I won't kid myself and think that I won't ever fall of the wagon so to speak, but it really is one day at a time. I hope this helps, and if you need to ask anything else, I am def. an open book about VSG. I hope you get your surgery date soon! Also, if you have the budget, buy a FitBit (digital pedometer) I LOVE MINE! If you have a smartphone, I also use MyFitnessPal everyday. It will also give you reports you can print and take to your Dr. if you so desire.
Thank you so much for answering me so quick and sorry it took me so long to reply. Well, I don't know where to start either so I'll just go off your response.
It sounds like you had a great psychologist, good for you and I'm glad it helped. I'm seeing a counselor now, not a psychologist but I have talked with her about the surgery, my health problems, the seriousness of the surgery and the life change that is going to have to take place. In fact, she's the one who gave me the idea to find a forum and talk to other people who have been thru it. My head definitely plays games with me. There's a part of me that knows how big I am because of the limitations and problems that I have, but there's another part of me that doesn't really "see" how big I am and is surprised when I try on what looks like a very big shirt and it doesn't fit. I think that the reality of how big I am is setting in because I find myself thinking about how my weight might possibly effect things around me. For instance, I will pick the chair that looks the sturdiest, am I going to be able to get out of the couch, I can't take my kids to Sea World, is the airline going to make me buy a second seat. You get the point. I'm soooo tired of it but I feel helpless because I can't do it on my own. I'm going to get a little personal here because you don't know me so it's okay (sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger something than your family) I am 40 yrs old, 5" 5' and I weight some where over 350lbs - my PA's scale doesn't go over that and I don't remember what the bariatric doctors said. I guess it's mute at this point, what is another 50lbs right?
Which brings me to another point - I can't work out either. I'm going to be starting this chair work out if you want to put a name on it. It's were you sit in a chair and use bands, balls, and paper plates on the floor to get a "full body workout". I can barely walk let alone work out. I had to have a colostomy in November 2011 and since then it's been an upward battle since. First let me say that, although it was painful, I was walking and lifting weights before I had to have it. Not 2 months after I got the colostomy, it herniated. So, a month later I had another full abdomen surgery (no laparoscopy for me for either surgeries). Then again, around 3 months or so later it re-herniated, doctor said lets wait to fix it just in case we might be able to reverse the colostomy her could do it all at once instead of two more abdominal surgeries. While waiting, it slowly got bigger until it gave way and went past the "circle" that was already there from the colostomy. So now, imagine a big round belly (mine) with both hands laid on it diagonally with the fingers spread apart, that's how big the hernia is. So the doc says, okay I'm not going to fix it until you lose wight because it"ll just re-herniate again. I was already looking onto bariatric surgery anyway and told him so and he said great, let me know when your getting it done and I'll try to fix your fistula one more time at the same time that the bariatric doc does his surgery and if it doesn't work you'll have to keep the colostomy. Then once you've lose some weight I'll fix the hernia. Went over everything with the bariatric doc and he told me to think about it and my insurance required 6 monthly visits to a physician about weight loss before insurance would pay. So, I started that process but in the mean time, it was becoming harder and more painful to walk. (obviously I stopped doing the weights a log time ago) My doctor explained that my back was having to work extra extra hard because not only did it have to carry the weight it was taking all the brunt of it because I didn't have any core muscles (stomach) to help support it. Then to top it off, last Thursday I was lifting a garbage bag into the outside garbage bin when I got extreme pain in my stomach. I went inside to lay down and when I got up later to get dressed I saw a bulge where I had the pain. I haven't had it confirmed by a doctor yet but I know my body and it is defiantly another hernia. I have no doubt about it. So at this point I'm extremely frustrated because (1) I'm in even more pain (2) I can't get my hernia's fixed until I lose a lot of weight (3) Losing enough weight to get my hernia's fixed is going to take a very long time without bariatric surgery (4) The longer it takes me to lose enough weight the worse the hernias will get (5) If the hernias get too much worse I won't be able to get bariatric surgery (when I visited him last time he said that he could probably go above the hernia I had because it's on the left side and starts halfway down and goes diagonally to my belly button, the new one is one the opposite side of my stomach and worse yet, higher up). This isn't the only reason I want to lose weight but the most complicated - the rest are cut and dry common sense reasons. I'm sorry, I was going to read over what I wrote for mistakes and just realized I wrote you a book. I don't know why I told you all this but I'm not going to delete it cuz it took me forever to write it and it seem like a waste of time.
What I wanted to ask you is did you have to a do a radical diet change or is it more portion control, calorie intake, and limiting the amount of carbohydrates and sugar like weigh****chers or caloriecount.com? Or is it basically veggies, fruit, meat, and dairy?
Sorry about the book, but I really appreciate your advice and knowledge. I also kind of hope this is between us and not the whole community and that I haven't said anything I shouldn't have. Guess I'll fine out when I hit "Submit"
I can't imagine the pain & frustration you are going thru. We all have our set of obstacles but you have a lot ahead of you. If I were in your shoes, I would beg, plea, cry & have a hissy with the insurance to approve you. If your regular PCP & stomach doctor would like for you to have bariatric surgery, then they should be advocating for & writing letters to insurance for approval.
On another note, I'm not sure if VSG is the right surgery for you. Is there a hospital that offers a free bariatric surgery seminar? Usually these seminars have people who can lead you to the right surgery choice for you. For the purpose of losing weight quickly, you might want to do some research on-line about gastric bypass.
Any surgery choice is going to require a lot of work. You need to be mentally ready for those changes. It is hard, gaing weight & eating ourselves silly is the easy part, the hard part is changing it & wanting a healthier life more than you want pain & consequences from being obese. I hope & pray you get solutions soon. Keep us & myself updated. OH is here for everyone fighting for a healthy life! Keep fighting girl!
