Everything...

So I feel like I haven't been on here in forever.  I tried to just get my mind off of the surgery during the whole approval process.  A few things have happened since I was last on here.  My partner and I got engaged in June and I am completely over the moon about that!  I have since been approved for surgery and I am somewhat terrified.  If you are anything like me weight is a constant thought in the back of your head even if you are trying not to think about it.   Almost like the little rain cloud that follows cartoon characters around.  I have always been viewed as the funny cute girl which is fine by me but being the fat funny cute girl is hopefully to be no more.  I have no desire to be a skinny model type.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin and be able to shop freely without restriction and be healthier all around.  Lately, I have been asking myself "what if I don't like the new me and what she looks like?"  I mean I know I will always be the me that is down to earth, always down for a laugh, etc....BUT what if?  I haven't really encountered anyone that has complained about being healthier and thinner but the thought has crossed my mind.  I was talking to a few co-workers and one of the two is thinking about having the sleeve as we were talking to each other in code (so we thought).  Our other co-worker picked up on this QUICKLY and said "ARE YALL TALKING ABOUT HAVING GASTRIC BYPASS?" LoL I said " No! We are actually talking about the gastric sleeve." He then started high fiving us as I am thinkin WTF?  He then stated "PERFECT choice! I had it three years ago!"  Y'all can imagine my amazement.  He told me that he was 615lbs before the surgery and my jaw hit the floor!  Instantly I was so proud of him.  I rushed home to tell my fiancee LoL  It definitely put a smile on my face.  I have spoken to more and more people that just offer their experiences and help and I feel like I am building up resources for success.  I am VERY nervous/scared about having the actual surgery/the unknown but I want to be healthy and I want to have babies in the next 3-4 years so I need to get there for multiple reasons.  I have started already.  Im going three months with no cokes and Im totally proud of that.  Working on not drinking when I eat.  I know it cant really prepare you for what all is to come but every little bit helps.  How do you all feel now that you have lost the weight?  Do you like what you see in the mirror?  I know I will always feel like the fat girl but I just want to know how others have felt or has anyone else felt this way after surgery?

Congrats in your approval and engagement.  I'm still new to the Process, three and a half months out, but I have no regrets. I like the "new me".  I don't always see my new body but I like the way I feel.

Good luck to you!  Probably one of the best decisions that you can make! 

Wow.  This is quite a story.  615 pounds. 

Congratulations on your engagement and on your progress in your weight loss journey.  I wish you every success and happiness.

Carol

I had to work pretty hard to read your post. The font you are using is difficult to read on my phone, but I am glad I took the time to enlarge it and scroll back and forth across the screen to read it.

Giving up the cokes and not drinking while you eat is fantastic. I especially think learning to break the habit of drinking while you will be beneficial to you. I found that one of the most difficult habits to break and you have a head start.

I do not think you are alone in worrying about if/how your life may change after the surgery or how you may view yourself after surgery. I still have my sense of humor and I still take pleasure in making others laugh. Skinny people can be funny too.

Every day I look in the mirror to see if anything else has changed and I am just tickled when I turn to the side and my boobs protrude further than my stomach. Almost every day I run into someone who has not seen me in a while and they are very complimentary about how I look.

Congratulations on your engagement. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

I know you cannot help worrying and being a little apprehensive about your surgery. All I can say is that I am extremely glad that I did it and knowing what I know now I would do it again.