last meals and food funerals...

Hello everyone,

Next week is a busy week for me. I see four out of the five doctors I need to speak with for pre-op testing. I'm looking forward to getting all the tests done with a surgery date of I'm hoping February.

I'm doing some really self-sabotaging, self-destructive things...mainly, I'm eating everything in sight. I was shocked to see how much weight I've put on when I was at the surgeon's office last week (I did the HCG injections earlier this year and I've managed to gain back over half of the weight I lost), and disgusted and disappointed in myself.

Instead of being proactive about getting ready for surgery, I'm using this time as an excuse to have last meals and food funerals. Last week it was Taco Bell, Subway, and mac and cheese. Yesterday it was McDonalds. When I'm not eating fast food I'm eating other junk. My rationale is that I'm not going to be able to have it when I have the surgery, so I might as well enjoy myself now. That is only going to make things harder on myself when the surgery date comes around as putting on even more weight will only make it harder on my surgeon.

Today I tried to start fresh. I had two eggs but skipped the toast. I seem to be hungry all the time. I'm trying to fill up on liquids and will stock up on some sugar free jello tomorrow to try to deal with my snacking compulsion.

I see my psychiatrist on Tuesday for my eval and all I can think of is going to Sonic afterwards. It's driving me crazy.

This behavior is making me so depressed. My quality of life already sucks from being so fat and this is only making the situation worse. I can't continue to "say goodbye" to food like this. It's really toxic.

My goal this week is to cut way back on the carbs and start eating smaller portions/smaller bites. Baby steps. My surgeon requires the 2 week liquid diet so the sooner I can stop this self abusive behavior the easier it will be for me to begin the diet once I'm approved for surgery.

Sorry this is so long...I just feel really out of control and scared right now. Thanks for listening.

I think most people will be able to relate to this.  I started off my 6-mo. pre-op process right around this time last year and I didn't do a damn thing I was supposed to until January.  My surgeon only required me to lose 10 lbs. and I ended up losing 17...but I could have lost more if I hadn't messed around.  

There are three things I would absolutely recommend you abstain from to make your life easier post-op:  Sugar, Soda and Fast Food.   Take it from someone who knows....if I hadn't messed around pre-op then I would have been at my goal weight 1-2 months ago and would be working on maintenance.  

Best of luck to you on this exciting journey! 

I had what I called my "FAREWELL TO FOOD TOUR"

I was on a 3 mt supervised diet..first phase was 1 protein shake as a meal replacement and 2 meals..

which I basically replaced 1 meal/with a shake but ate normally for me whi*****luded junk..

The 2nd phase was replace 2 meals w/protein shakes and this is where I implemented my Farewell to food tour..

I would decide what meal I was eating that day, and I had whatever I wanted, eat anywhere I wanted to eat,

 BUT that was my only meal..

3rd phase was full liquids which my Dr didn't require me to do...

so I continued doing what I was doing up until surgery, I had anything I wanted ONCE a day,

if I wanted something in addition to that ONE thing, it had to wait till the next day...

worked like a charm for me...And to tell the truth at almost 7 months I can honestly say I don't miss food at all.

I have what I want...in a VERY small portion and I'm happy,

at the beginning I really thought it would be hard to NOT  eat the way I did...

but guess what it's NOT....food no longer consumes my every thought and action..ITS LIBERATING!!!!!!

I was supposed to have my surgery this morning but my surgeon's office called me last Friday and asked if I could postpone until Dec. 19....Arghhhh!  Well I had been on the two week fast and lost 14 lbs., but guess what. ...after that phone call last Friday, I went to the kitchen and told myself I am eating.  Couldn't find much to eat in there but I managed and washed it down with Crystal Light.  I am not a person who ever throws up but I did upchuck all of that food and liquid and learned a lesson.  The fasting definitely teaches you to prepare for life after surgery.  It is three days later and I am sticking to a low carb diet because believe it or not, I felt better on that fast than I do when I over eat.  I can't imagine eating a fast food burger or pizza.  So, hopefully, I can stay this way until my surgery next month.  I won't have to fast again, only two days before surgery, on full liquids.  I did go crazy however before this month with "this is the last time I can eat this so I am going to" phase.  You will be so much better off starting now to get healthy than eating all that stuff.  I learned this the hard way.  So, good luck to both of us, stay on the path and we will see each other on here when we are slim and healthy.

One thing I will advise:  There is NOTHING I CAN'T eat now.  There are things I chose not to eat. But, the idea that you have to eat it now because you will never be able to again will eventually bite you in the ass.  It isn't about not eating things because you can't....it is ALL about what we chose to eat. 

As far as my experience goes, the same challenges in regards to temptation and desire are often still there.  For me, it is the mental work that is the hardest.

Anne

I'm bumping up this thread to share some good news! I checked out the Sonic website and looked up the nutritional content for the cheesy tots and strawberry shake I planned to get this afternoon. When I saw the calories and fat grams, I was HORRIFIED! My indulgence would have set me close to 2000 calories for the day! This has given me the strength to pass up Sonic today...I'm so happy I'm doing this! 

Maybe there's some hope for me after all...

What Annie64 said is the truth.  There is absolutely no food that you cannot eat again after surgery.  You will learn to make better choices, but if you want to eat junk you can do that. 

Losing weight is a process that takes time and effort.  Keeping it off takes even more effort.  Start right now to find foods that satisfy the tastes that you want without eating junk food.

I have a Hamilton Beach personal blender that cost me $14.00 at Walmart.  I fill it with frozen unsweetened strawberries, fat free milk, a few drops of vanilla extract and some sweetener and blend it up for a really tasty strawberry shake.  You don't have to have a small portion.  Just satisfying amounts of good food.  You still have your large stomach so cutting portions is torture of you right now.  Make two shakes if one is not enough.

Get some good quality beef patties, low fat cheese and make cheeseburgers with all the fixings except rolls.  Make a list of the foods that you love and then start learning substitutes for those foods using ingredients that are low carb, low calorie, and high protein.  Thanksgiving is coming.  Turkey breast is high protein, low fat, tastes wonderful and is filling. 

I use the example of a two liter bottle of soda to represent a stomach that has not had weight loss surgery.  It takes a lot to fill that stomach up.  After surgery you will have a sleeve that is less than four ounces.  It will be a lot easier to get that filled up. 

Use this time before surgery to learn great foods for you to eat, but don't try to walk around hungry.  It is a lot easier to resist Sonic when you have just finished your own strawberry shake and burgers.  There are many recipes and ideas. 

Fake mashed potatoes from cauliflower are delicious.  Lasagna made with sliced zucchini instead of noodles is fantastic.  Spaghetti squash is great with some marinara sauce and meatballs.  One of my favorite meals is filet mignon with mushrooms.  I prepare the mushrooms by spraying them with PAM and sautéing in a frying pan with a little beef bouillon powder.

 I also have an ice cream maker and make great ice cream using protein shakes and sugar-free cool whip.  The strawberry shake freezes up to a wonderful strawberry ice cream.

You can stay full, eat great and lose weight before surgery and be prepared for it being even easier after surgery when you will only want a small fraction of the food that you need now to feel satisfied.