supporting my surgery pal

My friend had RNY a few months before my sleeve. We have attended support meetings together and shared the process. I am beginning to see that my surgery pal is noncompliant with type and amount of food. Even vitamins are an issue, only taking one children's complete Instead of two as our directions say.. I have tried to gently steer towards joining this site and checking out eggface but no success.  I even made some ricotta bake early on and brought it to work because she has an issue with getting enough protein in. I also gave her the Recipe. The other day she mentioned that she was going to make it but add noodles. I explained that the point was to have a lasagna type dish minus the noodles. She just sighed deeply. I know she keeps eating noodles and rice and goes out for tacos and eats the shells then can't seem to figure out why she has trouble getting in protein and why her stomach bothers her. I see the amount of food she Is putting on her plate and it is more than the three oz that she has been told to eat.  I don't think she gets it. I think she is really assuming that smaller portions of the same old foods is ok.  I'm scared she isn't making the needed changes but did don't want to say much more as it  is her choice and she has gone to the same meetings and education as I have. What do I do at this point, do I let it go? 

It sounds like you have tried to lead by example and she hasn't bothered to take the bait.

Worst, it sounds like she was truly not ready to commit to this process. 

People that don't want to be helped can't be helped, no matter how much time you invest in them...

Excellent point, I guess I can just be there for her if she decides to commit to change in the future. I think I will just keep trying to inspire her through my cooking experiments and hope it spurs her to start trying new recipies that are healthier.

I don't know if this applies in your case, but some people don't respond to examples and nuances or suggestions. Sometimes they need to be told outright and point blank. Just factual observations, no accusations. If you ask her if she wants her support, that should tell you which way to go. 

Does she have a good surgeon and nutritionist?  If so, I think I would just lead by example.  The best thing you can do is eat according to your plan, and she will see your results and lack of upset stomach, and other ailments.

it does sound kind of like she was looking for the magic pill, or maybe expected to continue to eat the same foods, but less of them and see results.  I guess it depends on if you want to preserve your friendship with her.  Nagging her and being her diet police may push her away.

Best of luck, that sounds like a hard situation.

Sadly the only thing you can do is lead by example. :(  It must be really hard to see your friend sabotaging herself like this.  Is she seeing a therapist, do you know?  

No therapist but she has the same physician and has gone to the same program and classes as I have. I never say you should or shouldn't eat this. I had hoped by example and samples to encourage her. I share new recipes just as we did pre-weight loss. It's hard to know how to be supportive without crossing the line into nag with this situation. Thanks everyone for your suggestions.