For all those who are considering surgery or who have just had surgery x-post

I don't post often, so not sure how many will read this - but I've been thinking about posting this for a while.  I've seen so many "help, I just had surgery and I think I'm failing because I've only lost --- pounds" posts that it felt like maybe some reality check things might help.  I'm kind of a plain spoken Texas girl, so please forgive the bluntness.

Here are some things to think about when you're considering surgery, or when you've just had surgery.

1. Surgery is not a magic bullet - That's right, I said it.  Surgery will not cure all that ails you.  So sorry.  If someone told you that it will, or if you got that in your head, it's a lie.  It can help you with portion sizes, perhaps help with calorie absorption, but it will not fix everything that is wrong with your world.  Odds are, carrying around all that extra weight has done some damage to your body and your mind (read, self esteem, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, etc) and surgery isn't going to fix those things.  Nor will it make the handsome guy/cute girl down the hall thing you are magically irresistible, and it won't necessarily make your spouse think you are more lovable.  It's also not going to make that cookie less appetizing, it's not going to make the twinkies revolting, and it isn't going to make things you used to hate eating all of a sudden appetizing and tasty.  This is all side work that you have to do on your own, so get to it.  Don't wait until after surgery, if you do, you're foolish.  You're stacking challenge upon challenge.  Develop good habits before you're forced to.  Don't wait until bad habits can be deadly.  Start your head work now.  If you've convinced yourself that surgery will magically make all things better, go ahead and have that little pity party now, we'll wait.  Because until you wake up and realize that it's just a tool, you won't get very far.

2. You won't wake up thin tomorrow - That's right, get ready for the long game, ladies and gents.  You didn't get overweight from a single meal, you aren't going to get thin overnight either.  Yep, you'll have weeks of tremendous loss.  And you'll have weeks of no loss, or even (gasp) slight gain.  That's part of the deal, the trick is understanding that this is not a short game you're in, this is a life change you're making.  There's no going back, there's no giving up (unless you just quit and go back to bad habits).  That's why you need to change your habits before surgery.  So you're already ahead of the game before someone starts cutting on you.  So you have your head and your heart in the right place.  Otherwise, you're setting yourself up to fail.  And that would just be a waste, wouldn't it?  I mean, really, who puts their body through all that just to give it up?  Not you, right?

3.  Exercise - Not everyone needs to exercise to lose weight.  That's a fact.  In fact, most people who have surgery don't need to exercise to lose weight at all.  The reason for exercise is so that your body eats up your fat instead of your muscle as you lose weight.  Otherwise, you'll be thin, but weak.  And where's the fun in that?  I mean, it's great to look like a model, but if you can't lift a pencil, it's kind of pointless.  Not only that, but you're probably going to have loose skin, and if you have muscle, the skin doesn't look as bad until you can have it removed.  It just drapes more attractively.  Besides, no one says you have to be a body builder, just make sure you're doing something to keep yourself moving.  And there are really no excuses.  If you can't walk because your knees hurt right now, there's nothing that says you can't do arm lifts, or even just lift your legs up and down while you're sitting in your chair, so get moving....anything to keep your muscles going until you can get up and move around.  You must learn to walk before you can run, grasshopper....and run before you can fly!

4. Plastic surgery - Start saving your pennies now.  Odds are, you'll want some skin removed.  Or a little nip here, a little tuck there, and very often, insurance doesn't cover it.  A lot of people don't think they'll need it, and end up sorry that they didn't do it.  At some point, you will likely decide that you want some done, and if you start saving now, you'll be well on your way to affording it.  But don't jump and do it too fast.  Wait until you've gotten as close as you can to your weight goal, and then wait a while.  6 months to a year, if you can stand it.  Give yourself time to make sure you can manage some maintenance.  Most people struggle a little, especially at first, and bounce around as they learn to handle the additional calories that come with maintaining weight, rather than losing it, and you don't want to undo work that your plastic surgeon has done.  So, don't add that additional stress.  Remember, you're in it for the long haul, some patience will serve you well.

5 Head work - Everyone needs it, there's a reason we all got to the weight we're at.  Accept it, find someone to talk to, deal with your demons.  You aren't the exception.  That is all.

Those are my 5 main pieces of advice for the "new kids" not that I'm an expert.  Just seems like common sense.  I"m sure there will be those that disagree, so feel free to post opinions.....go!

Well Said.

excellent post and totally true.  no arguments from me.   diane

Very well said and so very true.

This is not a quick fix but a life long journey to get healthy and stay there. If you go back to the old ways...you will fail and then this will all be for nothing.

Get your head in the game and stay with the plan. It can be a life changer...

I love all of it but specially the tool part.  I know we have heard it a million times, surgery is just a tool but nothing like being post op to really help sink that one in .   Being a revision surgery I learned this the hard way, going through 2 surgeries is not fun and was   embarrassing to have failed at the first one, I had a ton of excuses but at the end of the day I needed another surgery and needed to REALLY accept what my responsibility was in the process. 

Thanks for posting this, although a revision patient I consider myself a "new kid", on this my new journey which I WILL be successful at. 

Nice job, Diana!  

Perfect and so true. My Dr and NUT said a lot of those things to me before surgery.  I would think that most responsible medical professionals do. I just wonder if everyone listens!

Great points! I agree with them all & it is nice to hear them again. I know my surgeon & NUT spoke to me abut the ups/downs but when I had my first recent gain, I was really moody and not fun to be around! I've since started losing again but it's see your post and realize this is all part of the game and I'm in it for the long haul!

Helen

I am in the beginning stages of just getting an appt. with a dr to have the sleeve.  My biggest concern is what you talked about is the diet/food after surgery.  So worried, I will go back into old ways and my surgery will be for naught.  I know it's all in my head and I am the only one that can do that, but for me it's scary.  Thank you for this honest post...just the way I like it. 

Also, I have only told a couple of people of what I am thinking about doing and there was nothing positive there!  I've just decided to keep it to myself and not tell anyone!! 

Thank you for that, I will print it out and refer to it often. I had a band for four years and lost 70 pounds and kept it off. I had to have it removed in May and get my VSG August 19 and boy am I ready to lost the last 40 pounds!

Head in the game.