I hate my sleeve

I am two and half years post op and I am thankful for your post today. Because today I hate my sleeve also. I can eat all kinds of crap now, but still very little protein. Which puts me in a very bad place if I don'****ch myself and I must admit some days I say to hell with it and let myself indulge and others I am right on track. The first time I realized things weren't going to be easy was about two weeks post op, hubby and I had a fight I got up and left the room and promptly went and kicked the couch and said OK WHAT THE F**K do I do now. I can't eat to get over this, dam it I have to feel my feelings. Wow did I hate my sleeve in that moment. I have been maintaining a 210 to 214 lb loss for over a year now and I guess I am thankful for my sleeve most days. The most important thing to remember is it is ok to feel whatever we feel, we are human. We find our way in spite of all the downfalls. We figure out what works for us and we carry on. You will to!  And here is a great big hug - from another person who gets how you feel.  Lorna

Thank you SO much for your honesty and insight!

My good friend feels like you. She hates that she can'****ch tv without being angry since she can't enjoy the food she used to. She lost 160 lbs and two years later has gained it all back because she never really got over that anger. She found a way to eat what she wanted. Now she's morbidly obese, regretful and depressed. Get help and make sure it's good help. An eating disorder therapist could help but you have to do the daily work. This is a lifestyle change, unfortunately our stomachs were sleeved not our heads and the desires to eat those things we always have are still there.

i don't know you but have you lost? Do you feel the difference in your body, your energy and your life? Are you reaping the benefits of weight loss? 

I have lost about 35 pounds and I am feeling better - my energy is up and I am walking 1-2 miles a day - can't wait to join a gym - 2 more weeks.  I was having a really bad moment, well a really bad couple of days.  It's better now but still tough.  I think as I lose more and truly feel better, it will be good.  Thanks for your response.

Once you start seeing and feeling the NSVs of weight loss, you will feel better. But these emotions you are having are real and valid. We used food to pacify our hearts many times. I was an emotional faster. I would starve myself during depression or sadness. After my divorce I didn't eat for days. It was horrible. But I was a 'bored eater' so I understand having to change habits. 

Good luck through the bad times - try to post here or reach out to a friend you trust who can help you find better ways to get through sadness and emotions. Your life will change and your new lifestyle will bring many good things, one day at a time, you will get to the place where you won't miss the food.

Thank you - I think I am way more of an emotional eater than I knew.  Lot's changing, fast.  

Oh man, I have been there. Sometimes I hate my new tummy because I get full so fast and I just want to eat ALL THE FOOD and cant! Lol! I am so sorry about your dog! Losing a pet is the worst. Hang in there, things will start to look up!

It was the worst - brutal.  I miss him terribly but I know it was for the best.  I think things are already looking up - thank you.

I am so sorry IdaRED that you hate your sleeve. I LOVE my sleeve.

I am a compulsive overeater. Before my sleeve I ate what I wanted, whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted. The result...I weighed 305 pounds and the weight on my knees all those years led to degenerative tearing in the meniscus of both knees. I could not walk, could not move really, without medication. Walking up the stairs was bad enough but walking down the stairs was brutal and very painful not to mention embarrassing because I had to walk one step at a time. Being overweight destroyed my self confidence. I dreaded shopping because I could never find anything cute and what I did find was not all that flattering. In short I was miserable. Efforts to lose weight proved futile and I tried everything except Nutrisystem. I would eat perfect and after one week would lose 1-2 pounds at most. I could splurge a little one weekend and gain 5 pounds. That sucked. Then I got sleeved and my life has changed.

i have lost 57 pounds counting both pre-op and post-op loss, I no longer take Diclofenac to help me walk, and I recently went shopping and can wear a size 20, down from 24-26, depending on the make of the dress. My taste buds have changed. I can have cake, cookies, pie, chips, crackers, etc. in the house...all trigger foods for me...and not touch them. I still eat whatever I want...it's just that many of the things I used to want I no longer want or crave. The beauty of my sleeve is I no longer eat insane amounts of food. My sleeve won't let me and I love that about my sleeve.

You did not mention in your post when you had the surgery. Perhaps you have not advanced to solid foods yet. If you are in the transition phase, be kind to yourself. Take the time to learn how your sleeve is your best friend and work with it to achieve your weight loss goals and regain your healthy self. I used to hate it pre-sleeve when people would say, eat in moderation. My response was always, "what the heck is that?" The sleeve helps us to understand and achieve moderation. Give it time. When you start losing weight and recognize that for the first time in your life you see weight loss results from your efforts, you will learn to love your sleeve.

Good luck to you!

You sound exactly like me in the beginning - I did this for health reasons, not even to be skinny but because when I would look how far it was to walk to my office down a hall, I would just get tired.  My knees are blown.  I am glad to know there is hope.  Thank you.