How Normal Changes

on 3/4/17 7:41 am

This is kind of a random post. I saw a post below about girl scout cookies and it made something click a little for me.

At my work, (I just started ~4 months ago), people don't see me as the former fat girl / woman. They don't see me as the super healthy bird type eater / yoga lady, they see me as the strong crossfitter athlete.

Girl scout cookies came around a couple of weeks ago and I guess I wasn't around when the orders went in. One of my colleague / friends (healthy sized guy maybe 5 years younger than me) had some on his desk -- I mentioned, "oh, I must have missed the order". A couple hours later there was a box of thin mints on my desk. I asked him later if he left them, and he said "maybe". I said, "oh I don't need those" and his response, was that I could handle them much better than him b/c I crossfit. 2 weeks later the full box is still sitting on my desk... It's weird, because I see him as a healthy guy who I wouldn't think would worry about weight / calories at all.

But what is odd is how we change throughout our lives.

In college, I was the heavier athlete -- I was 200 - 230 lbs but one of the best hockey players on our varsity team. Maybe heavier here was kind of in my head. I'm 195 now and people would not call me heavy.

In my 20s, I was the fat professional -- I was 260 - 290 and working around the clock

then I was the woman losing weight -- going from 290 to 170, some people knew about the surgery some didn't

then I was the yogi who ate like a bird -- yoga nonstop and ate super little (still people didn't really know I had had surgery. But I fit in with all the other yogis who didn't eat much)

then girl in love -- happy, let go of watching food, lived life, and gained a bit of weight (while getting stronger) (went from 170 - 212 -- maybe enjoyed the food a bit too much :)

Now, i think people see me as a crossfitter

It's kind of cool to look at the transitions. these were all cool times in my life. We change. Some things I wish I would have changed sooner, but they all made me who I am today. What is kind of cool -- is I'm less associating what I weighed to parts in my life. Weight is a key metric and I will always have to keep my eye on it. But I'm happy today at 195. I want to be able to do pull ups consistently, and realistically being lighter will make that easier, but I'm not waiting to be 185 to be happier. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm strong -- those are the most important.

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

on 3/4/17 9:08 am
VSG on 01/05/17

Well said. I couldn't agree more - "I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm strong." Words to live by.

Thanks Stacy!


Height 5'4 Starting weight: 225 Surgery weight: 216 Goal Weight: 135 Surgery date: 1/23/17 Portsmouth, NH

The little engine that could.....

on 3/5/17 3:00 am

I absolutely love the happy, healthy, strong identity. In enjoyed it for a while a couple years ago

on 3/7/17 3:00 pm - PA
VSG on 05/13/13

I can identify with these feelings. I switched jobs 18 months ago and nobody at my current company has ever known "Fat Nikke" or anything close to it. I have only discussed my weight loss with a couple of people and they always say they can't picture me being so much heavier. Sometimes, I can't either. So much has happened in my professional and personal life in the last few years that it feels like my 20s happened to a different person.

So glad to see your post on a random day I decided to drop in! Hope you are doing well!

For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at