101 pounds later - reflections and lessons (long!)
As of today, I have lost 101 lbs from my highest weight - a momentous moment worthy of reflection.
I started this journey in January of 2010. I was absolutely miserable. I could barely move, my face looked like it could implode, my body was suffering from the effects of diabetes and hypertension, among other things. I felt like my life had become work and doctor appts. One day, I was sharing how depressed I was feeling with my DB, who said "you can't do anything about mom's failing health or your stressful job, but you can do something about your health." It clicked. I went to a WLS seminar and eleven months later had RNY. It was a tough go of it: appealing an insurance denial, proving up that I was healthy enough for the procedure, arranging leave. I am so glad that I had that time! I found OH, researched my options, and spoke with many who have been there. When I had the RNY, I was ready.
It has not always been easy. I have lost gobs of hair that I could not afford to lose. I still eject food more often that I would like. My occasional gas even alienates my cats! Still, it has been so worth it.
For the first time in my life, I can envision leading a robust life with a normal-sized body. I no longer fear my blood sugar levels - I have not been on insulin since the surgery. I no longer have to track my blood pressure but when I do, it is always low-normal. I am able to wash parts of my body that were off-limits (enough said!). I can tie my shoes, paint my toes, sit comfortably on a plane, walk up the three flights of stairs to my place, be hugged fully, wear necklaces without extenders, and move my body!!!
I am so grateful. Yes, I still have more to go but that is besides the point. This journey is lifelong, and this moment is a moment that I want to savor. If you are still reading, below are a few lessons that I would like to share:
1) Be easy on yourself. I monitor the critical voice inside my head. When a negative thought comes (e.g. You still have a big belly), I think about what I would say to a loved one and then I say it to myself. (Oh, that was a negative thought, your belly is so much smaller, look at the great progress you are making!). So much about this journey is about repairing my self-esteem and loving myself enough to take care of myself.
2) Be patient. It can be hard sometimes when others are posting big losses, and I am just trudging along with my small but persistent losses. But this is a marathon, not a race! One of my favorite sayings is "focus on your thoughts, emotions, and behavior - the scale will follow." It helps me when I use that mantra.
3) It is okay to scew up once in a while. I eat the occasional "lite" popcorn, I sometimes slip up with chocolate calcium chews, I have been known to eat two fudgsicles in a sitting. Compared to the old days, I am a saint. When I slip now, I work to forgive and forget it. I don't punish myself with restriction - I just get back on track. It is a relief not to be obsessing over my "failures" with food. It took up so much of my time before!
4 Ask for help. I have learned that all I have to do is ask. I travel for work, and every hotel has been more than happy to supply a refrigerator. I have little trouble in restaurants when I explain my needs. My office colleagues order foods that I eat for meetings and events . People who care about you want you to succeed and will want to help. This surgery forced me to learn that asking for help can be a gift to others.
5) Celebrate your body. No matter its size, bodies deserve appreciation and care. I think of myself as guardian of my body. My body needs nourishment and movement. Not too much to ask! When I exercise now, I sometimes feel a connection with my body that borders on joy. This feeling did not happen at first, let me tell you! For months, I could barely move. But the body is an amazing thing - it wants to be healthy. If you are new at this, I recommend hiring a compassionate, wise trainer who will help you over the hump. My trainer made a big difference!
If you hung in this long, I appreciate it! I hope you are having a rewarding journey. I cannot tell you how important the LWs have been in my life. One of my greatest resources has been the people on the LW board - the advice and support here has been priceless. I consider each and every one of you my friend, and I love you all.
Amy
I started this journey in January of 2010. I was absolutely miserable. I could barely move, my face looked like it could implode, my body was suffering from the effects of diabetes and hypertension, among other things. I felt like my life had become work and doctor appts. One day, I was sharing how depressed I was feeling with my DB, who said "you can't do anything about mom's failing health or your stressful job, but you can do something about your health." It clicked. I went to a WLS seminar and eleven months later had RNY. It was a tough go of it: appealing an insurance denial, proving up that I was healthy enough for the procedure, arranging leave. I am so glad that I had that time! I found OH, researched my options, and spoke with many who have been there. When I had the RNY, I was ready.
It has not always been easy. I have lost gobs of hair that I could not afford to lose. I still eject food more often that I would like. My occasional gas even alienates my cats! Still, it has been so worth it.
For the first time in my life, I can envision leading a robust life with a normal-sized body. I no longer fear my blood sugar levels - I have not been on insulin since the surgery. I no longer have to track my blood pressure but when I do, it is always low-normal. I am able to wash parts of my body that were off-limits (enough said!). I can tie my shoes, paint my toes, sit comfortably on a plane, walk up the three flights of stairs to my place, be hugged fully, wear necklaces without extenders, and move my body!!!
I am so grateful. Yes, I still have more to go but that is besides the point. This journey is lifelong, and this moment is a moment that I want to savor. If you are still reading, below are a few lessons that I would like to share:
1) Be easy on yourself. I monitor the critical voice inside my head. When a negative thought comes (e.g. You still have a big belly), I think about what I would say to a loved one and then I say it to myself. (Oh, that was a negative thought, your belly is so much smaller, look at the great progress you are making!). So much about this journey is about repairing my self-esteem and loving myself enough to take care of myself.
2) Be patient. It can be hard sometimes when others are posting big losses, and I am just trudging along with my small but persistent losses. But this is a marathon, not a race! One of my favorite sayings is "focus on your thoughts, emotions, and behavior - the scale will follow." It helps me when I use that mantra.
3) It is okay to scew up once in a while. I eat the occasional "lite" popcorn, I sometimes slip up with chocolate calcium chews, I have been known to eat two fudgsicles in a sitting. Compared to the old days, I am a saint. When I slip now, I work to forgive and forget it. I don't punish myself with restriction - I just get back on track. It is a relief not to be obsessing over my "failures" with food. It took up so much of my time before!
4 Ask for help. I have learned that all I have to do is ask. I travel for work, and every hotel has been more than happy to supply a refrigerator. I have little trouble in restaurants when I explain my needs. My office colleagues order foods that I eat for meetings and events . People who care about you want you to succeed and will want to help. This surgery forced me to learn that asking for help can be a gift to others.
5) Celebrate your body. No matter its size, bodies deserve appreciation and care. I think of myself as guardian of my body. My body needs nourishment and movement. Not too much to ask! When I exercise now, I sometimes feel a connection with my body that borders on joy. This feeling did not happen at first, let me tell you! For months, I could barely move. But the body is an amazing thing - it wants to be healthy. If you are new at this, I recommend hiring a compassionate, wise trainer who will help you over the hump. My trainer made a big difference!
If you hung in this long, I appreciate it! I hope you are having a rewarding journey. I cannot tell you how important the LWs have been in my life. One of my greatest resources has been the people on the LW board - the advice and support here has been priceless. I consider each and every one of you my friend, and I love you all.
Amy
Oh Amy - what a great post!! You've done phenomenal and have said it way better than I could have.
Congratulations on your success! You will continue to lose and continue to be successful, because you are doing the right things and have the right attitude!!
We love you too!
Congratulations on your success! You will continue to lose and continue to be successful, because you are doing the right things and have the right attitude!!
We love you too!
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Your post brought tears to my eyes....it is so difficult sometimes to explain this journey......and you did it beautifully....this is really about self care.....I am trying to remember this on the days I struggle....the other day I was jogging (me jogging is such a thing I NEVER thought I could do).....it was one of those times where I so LOVED the movement and the joy at being able to move my body without struggling. (Now there are other days where I am 2 minutes in and all I do is walk the rest!).
Today was one of those days where I had the negative thinking ("I am a slow loser, why is this, etc". Yet my body felt good and I had lots of energy and others noticed this as well as my weight loss). For that reason, I love your statement: "focus on your thoughts, emotions, and behavior - the scale will follow."
I so need to remember that.
Thanks for your eloquent words and I really like your picture!!!
~~Jennifer
Today was one of those days where I had the negative thinking ("I am a slow loser, why is this, etc". Yet my body felt good and I had lots of energy and others noticed this as well as my weight loss). For that reason, I love your statement: "focus on your thoughts, emotions, and behavior - the scale will follow."
I so need to remember that.
Thanks for your eloquent words and I really like your picture!!!
~~Jennifer
HW/232 CW/145.2 GW/???
What a great post and wonderful words to live by. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
66 yrs young, 4'11" hw 220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance
Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board. the Lightweight Board
Congratulations, babeee! You've done a great job and I love your perspective on things. Hee's your LW golden apple if you want to use it.
--gina
--gina
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
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