Good Morning. Heavy hearted

How do we pull ourselves up after what has happened in CT, and before in OR and CO? Do we have any counselors in this group? I know the holidays can be tough even without the tragedies that have happened. How do you deal with all this?

--gina

I don't know if it is the "right" way to deal with it or not but I made a deal with myself ages ago that I would do what I could then stop obsessing about things I couldn't do anything about. this is those big events like last Friday and little things that upset me every week.  It would be so easy to be totally engrossed in negative if you didn't send some of it to a higher being of let it go in some manner.   So I make donations, send letters, do what I can.  Then I try to get on with my life.  I've tried to watch happy stuff on TV all weekend instead of the news related to the event.  I've spent time with my ponies, exercising, putting up the tree, sending Christmas letters to all my clients. 

A couple of very wise people say that the best way to get a handle on it is not forget but don't dwell on it..

Don't keep watching the news over and over...go watch something else. Do for others.

And keep the victims in your thoughts...

Liz

I like to think I have a very strong faith that would get me through something but I can't imagine what these parents, grandparents and other family members are going through right now.  I listened to the father of Emilie speak and found him to be the kind of person I would like to be.  He showed such strength in his faith while you could tell his heart was so broken.

I find myself glued to the TV watching it and crying.  I just have to turn it on something else.  Unfortunately those families can't do that, since it is their lives now. 

Linda

Tough question Gina, I still cant wrap my head around the whole thing. It was nice to see the President went and offer kind words, but it still feels like its not enough.

I am just trying to stay in the present moment and let those around me know how much I love them and hug them a little tighter. I know I am not promised tomorrow, but its hard not to imagine my children not being there, I have had such a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart since friday.

Maria

I am hurting for those touched with that heavy hand of fate....my prayers go out to all involved...Nothing can undo the deed...it is something we all will live with. 

2 of my DD's have been extremely upset over what happened. The one doesn't want to read or hear anything about it and the other one can't stop watching and reading about it.   DD# 2 is so oblivious to things she might not even know it happened. Everyone handles things completely different I guess.

Everyone was pretty shaken up about it at the competition Saturday.  Anyone can just walk into one of these comps.  We warn our  girls about this before every trip.....stay with your parents or in a group, don't wonder around by yourself, don't trust anyone etc.   DD wants to have someone come in to talk to our girls before they go on their next overnight trip.

I always take my 7 yr. old DGD to the bus or to school in the mornings and it always surprises me how many parents let their young children walk the city streets by themselves.  Some of the little ones have to be in kindergarten or first grade. This morning I saw Moms walking with their little ones and standing at the bus stop with them,  I hope this isn't just a  first day/week thing.  I think they should be doing it every morning.

Parents got a text this morning that there would be armed guards at every school this morning. 

I too had to turn off the news, and even stay off Facebook.  It's not because I don't sympathize - it's just that it became sensory overload for me and I had to focus on other things. 

I heard on the news that the police would be in force at the schools - FOR THE NEXT WEEK.  Ok - I see the effort, and that's good, but this isn't something that happened just in a week - it could happen at any time and anywhere - not just at schools, but movie theaters, shopping malls, etc. 

I too hope the parents don't stop walking their kids to the bus stop  Years ago when my girl was in middle school, someone was killed in our town (which never happened) and they didn't know who did it.  I started driving her to the bus stop at the end of our road, which was on a very busy road - but was still very dark.  I didn't do it just for a week - I did it until she got her drivers license, a car, and could drive herself to school. 

I know some people are clinging to their faith, and some don't practice any type of religion, but we all feel deep sadness over these horrible events. I do practice faith and Sunday, my pastor didn't give the message he had originally prepared. Instead he talked about the problem of evil in the world. He didn't sugar coat it either, he was clear that some people will give into evil thoughts and feelings, and the results are pain and suffering. Unfortunately, there is no way to prevent this kind of thing happening again, but, we can tune into the people we love and if we see something is "not quite right" then we need to seek help. We also need to press those in authority to follow up.

I have a dear friend who lost a coworker/friend in the Aurora, CO shooting. He said that authorities at the university were troubled by this young man's behavior, but there was nothing legally they could do about it. Changing this would be a good place to start.

In the mean time, if you are one who prays, doing so would be good. If you are able, donate to the fund that I'm sure was set up to assist the families. Talk to the young people in your life about this possibility so they can be prepared. And finally, tell those you love how much they mean to you, you may not get another chance. Well, those are my deep thoughts. Stay safe everyone.

What I plan to do is make time for everyone of my family member over the holidays. Make sure I let them know how much I love them. I take comfort and solace in my big big family. Also it reminds you life is precious and short, spend it wisely. My best friend died suddenly in a car accident. It hurt me so deep it never truly healed. I am at peace but not healed. My family got me through that. It's hard to look at the world the same way after things like this happen. Twisted, hateful people out there. I would also suggest praying but it all depends if your religious. We all need to keep our chins up.