Good Morning. Maintaining your balance

I really admire those of you that can balance so many aspects of your lives. You are, for the most part, busy busy ladies and yet you manage to maintain a little for yourselves. You guys have really got it together.

My mother and grandmothers were like that. They had so much energy! I feel like a knot on a log compared to them. All these women worked outside the home when that wasn't the norm back in the day. And don't even get me started on my wonderful mother-in-law. She was a saint if there ever was one.

Do you have women in your lives you look up to and wonder just how they accomplished all that they did?

--gina

My mother! 5 naughty as HE LL kids ! Went to college , worthless husband , held a job always had food for us and the poor neighbor kids 

Hey Gina...is it arrogant to say that I look up to me? 

I chose the single parent route 23 years ago with my daughter and included my son when my daughter was 8.  Since I made the "single life" decision when my daughter was two, I have supported both myself and her for eight years then added my son to our family.   For what I thought were selfish reasons I moved back home to my parents when I realized I was pregnant...but when I got there I found that it was my parents that needed me more than I needed them.  So I took up that challenge...16 years later it is still my daily challenge to fulfill whatever needs my parents have.  After two years of being "back at home" with my parents it turned out my sister had cancer and she left her 3 boys (13, 10 & 10) behind when she went to heaven.

For the next few years, I was a full time Mom of two, obedient daughter of both parents, and then enforcer of rules for my 3 nephews when my parents took custody when my sister died.  I also worked full time to "bring home the bacon" for all of us to live on.

After a few years of that, I realized I needed to work smarter, not harder...so I went back to school for my BA.  Now add full time student to all of the above duties that did not dimish at all, but got more intense as the kids became teenagers and all that that implies.

Into my second year of school I was forced to take on a second job to supplement the household income.  So for the next 2.5 years it went like this:

Fulltime Mom, housekeeper, parent and nephew keeper, and sometimes cook.  Fulltime first job, part time second job and full time student.  And Yes, all the kids helped with the chores...but well I am a control freak after all.

After I graduated, I got promoted and then the 3rd job took over what time I no longer needed for school.  The third job lasted until last August when I was finally able to give it up.

So to this day:  I am still a full time Mom...(last one at home is my son at 16).  My daughter is in Graduate School at Johns Hopkins and looking to do her PhD in Paris France.  My oldest nephew is a Liberty University Graduate with a BS in Accounting...( still no job).  My twin nephews...one is still in school at UVA Wise and the other is attending LU part time...(neither of which have jobs).     I still work full time and still have my part time job (just down to a few hours a month).  I still take care of my Mom and Dad and our 6 dogs.

Most days I don't know how it all comes together...but it does.

This is why I chose me to look up to

Wow!  I remember doing those things early in my adult life, but things settled down after a few years.  I couldn't imagine keeping that level of chaos (in my house anyway) going at that rate!! 

Kudos to you for providing a healthy home and relationships to those 3 young boys.  I'm sure it was very difficult for them, especially at that age, and it looks like they've turned out to be fine young men - not to mention your daughter.

Thanks Jody...things have settle down somewhat...I am wearing myself out just rereading my own post.  Whew...I am currently only caretaker for my parents now...and well of course my 16 year old son...who by the way is GREAT and of course I work full time...  My nephews come over quite often to visit with their Grandparents (Mom and Dad).  They do small things for them as well...like wash their dogs...or help put up ALL the Christmas lights...gee I hope they come back by when it is time to take them ALL down...lol...

I find that I can not juggle too many balls like I used to.  There was a point where I was very pregnant, working as an LPN at a state inpatient psych facility and going to school for my RN full time a hour away. 

My anxiety is much worse than it used to be, depression is gone, but my anxiety kicks my butt.  The shrink and I are constantly doing med changes for this.  Geesh, anxiety is so inconvenient.

I think I always put too much into my job and not enough into my family when they were younger.  I love to work and would let that get away from me and end up working a lot of extra hours at home just to try to do the "perfect" job and be the "perfect" employee.  DH would have to tell me to cut it back over the years.  I remember taking work to the ball field to watch DS play ball-I went to the ball games, but not sure my attention was there all the time.

I actually look up to the women who chose to stay at home and raise their children.  It was not something I wanted to do, but my mom did it with us and I have so many wonderful memories of growing up.  My mom had some mental issues but was at home for us most of the time.  My grandmother would step in and take care of us when mom needed to go get a little help.  I don't remember ever staying with a babysitter when I was growing up.  My DIL would be a wonderful stay at home mom, but they just can't afford it now.  My daughter is driven like me with her job.

Linda