Is It Me?

I don't lay out my husbands clothes either, but I probably should.

I just let him look like he wants except if we're going out--then I make suggestions

"your leather shoes would look nicer with those jeans for tonight"

"I think you should wear a shirt that is nicer fabric"

My husband has jeans and the pant to his suits--there is no in between----LOL

 

Suggestions are one thing and appropriate to me .I have done the same typ things. To lay his clothes out everyday is something else to me.

Hi Hollykim... I dont lay out my man's clothes and never have in the years we have been married but I wont hesitate to comment on something he wears that doesnt match or looks funny!!  I see both sides of this, some ladies like to do it and some dont.  Its ok either way!!

Oh yeah it's definitely you. and many other women I know.

I don't lay out my husband's clothes day to day but I do if we are going somewhere. I also pack his clothes for trips. I want him to look the way I like him to look when he's with me. I figured out I need to do this after he dressed himself for his aunt's funeral and showed up to my house (we were still dating) wearing gray pants, a gray pink and white striped button down oxford, a gray and white pin striped jacket (all different colors of gray), brown socks and shoes with a tan overcoat. He was quite proud of how handsome he thought he looked all dressed up. I admit, I cringed.

But even if he could do something for himself if he enjoys it being done and I enjoy doing it then by all means we should do it.

He sometimes runs my bathwater, I like that. I trim his toenails, he likes that. I see it as love. It's those little things you do for the one you love that you wouldn't do for anyone else that keeps my marriage strong.

Now mind you I don't care for the women libbers who fought for my "right" to work. I'd be perfectly content barefooted and pregnant in the kitchen or serving dinner in pumps and pearls.

The fact that I make my husband's dinner plate when I make the kids theirs has nothing to do with codependence. Trust me I was codependent with my oldest daughter's dad and had a lot of therapy to fix things. Some things we do for love. Some things we do because we want someone we love to feel loved, or special or whatever it may be. I learned that reading a book "Is it love or addiction" while in therapy.

Now mind you if you or he don't feel comfortable doing it and you do it anyway or one forces the other to do it that way it's an issue to me. But if both are mutually happy then of course it's okay. I could rub lotion on my feet everynight but it sure is nice that he does it for me :D

I agree with much of what you say and it's all good as long as the parties are happy. I do have a question for you though. Even if you are not a fan of women's libbers who fought for your "right" to work,are you a fan of having a CHOICE,cause that is what women's libbers really fight/fought for. They fought/fight for our rights to choose. So those women who want to stay home in pearls and heels can and those who want to work can. Are you a fan of being able to vote? That is what womens libbers did for me and I will forever be grateful. Everyone should have a choice.

 

Personally,I have gone thru all the ohases of stay home/work and I an just glad I can make my own choices.

Getting off my soap box,now. LOL. I just have a keen interest in the dynamics of people and relationships and find those things extremely interesting.  Thanks for your reply.

I'm pretty sure my response to this would make your head spin as it does most people so I'll refrain. Let's just say I believe a lot of issues came with those "rights" for choice and I don't think the pros outweigh the cons.

Well,everyone has their own opinion,that's for sure. so i propose we agree to disagree and move on. thanks for your responses.

I'm with you MrsLitch. I wouldn't even respond to her as she seems to be a meanie. This is the kind of person that spreads negativety on these blogs.

I beg your pardon and I highly resent your calling me a "meanie". I have been on this board for 4 years and have never had trouble with anyone. Most of us are mature enough to have a civilized discussion. Since you have been here about a minute,I suggest you spend some time reading my other posts,and I think an apology is in order.

 

You haven't even been on this board long enough to know what is going on much less know who is or isn't spreading negativity. In fact,YOU are the only one I see spreading negativity on this thread.

 

 

To 3horse:

Wow. . . .that is completely uncalled for.  

I normally don't butt in but in this case I am because I don't think name-calling is appropriate if you disagree with someone's comments or perspective.  She has hers, you have yours and I have mine.  We don't have to agree, but to categorize hollykim as being "the kind of person that spreads negativity" and "a meanie" is totally unfair, especially if you are basing it off of this thread alone and do not really know her.  

People disagree all of the time and have discussions about it. . . .she has agreed to disagree with multiple people.  There is nothing wrong with that.  However, a personal attack such as what you posted really isn't acceptable or fair to her.  This board, especially, does not have these types of issues.  Everyone is very helpful and gets along well with each other.

I agree with her, I think that at the least, an apology is in order, and if you don't care to read her comments, than block her and it will be a non-issue.  You are welcome to block me as well if you don't care for my perspective on this situation.  I am only commenting because I feel that a personal attack / insult is not warranted.   

You may want to re-read the Lightweight Creed if you haven't already and see what this board is truly about.