Good Morning. Don't sell your WLS short

This whole WLS thing is bigger than you or I. It's about society's precept ions too. Every time we fail we give the naysayers ammunition to put down WLS. Every time we make light of taking our vitamins or getting in protein or cutting carbs or our bathroom issues, we give our enemies a weakness to exploit. I'm sure our WLS community is shaped like bell curve but skewed to the left for failure. How do we move success to to the middle of the bell curve?  

Just some things on my mind this morning..... 

--gina

 

I'm pretty open about the whole process.  I see so many folks who had surgery years ago and have gained all or most back.  I didn't know any of them before.  It only works for you if you work it.  Yes, we can all lose the weight, but keeping it off is the issue.  Maybe it's good for them that they started eating because I can bet they aren't taking their vits and protein.  Newbees, if we can get anything across to you beside the vits and protein, it is that this is forever.  Not just until hit goal, that is when the real fun begins.  We are given a tool but unless we work it, it doesn't work forever.  Take you vits/mins, get in your protein even if you have to hold your nose to do it, get to moving, learn the lessons that will help you be a success for the rest of your life, which should be a lot longer than if you were still heavy.  Amen, brother.

I am sure Carnie Wilson didn't do a lot to give WLS a good reputation.  Sadly, my sister, who had her surgery a few months before my first surgery looks has if she has gained a significant amount of weight.  I sure kept my mouth shut open having WLS when I regained 100 lbs.  Not to really protect the surgery's reputation but I felt like such a loser.  How bad do you have to be to even fail WLS?  That was how I felt.  Even now I don't talk much about it with people who don't know.  I don't feel like being a poster girl for WLS.  I would be hesitant to advise it to someone who didn't seem to have the wherewithal to manage the responsibilities of having their digestive system rearranged.  I know that isn't for me to call but I don't want the responsibility if someone has WLS because of me and then doesn't comply and winds up with serious complications.  I just pray that the surgeon does their job and really screens potential patients.  I know that wasn't done in my case the first time and it wasn't a pretty picture.

WLS is a wonderful treatment for obesity but it's not for everyone.  It can be a dangerous thing for people who act like it is set it and forget it, like I was.  Life is never the same after such a drastic altering of our bodies, or it shouldn't be.  I really think the answer lies in better screening and much better preparation, education and follow up, at least in my case.

One thing that it seems many people don't understand when they have WLS, especially one that involves in malabsorption, is that you become medicalized for the rest of your life.  You have a disease, malabsorption syndrome, that needs to be followed and managed for life.  Not taking vitamins and supplements can be deadly in worse case scenarios.  Not changing the way we eat can defeat the purpose of the surgery.  It isn't to be taken lightly.

I remember when I was thinking about WLS how many people came up to me and said "____ had WLS and look at them now, just as big as ever."  It made me stop and think, but I really wanted this second chance.

It worries me when I read someone posting about not being able to afford some of the requirements prior to surgery.  For me this has been expensive for the vitamins and protein drinks that I do.  I don't think I could have afforded it at a younger age.  I want everyone thinking about WLS to make sure they can afford to take care of their selves.

I sometimes feel that people are watching me to see if I am going to be one of the ones that fail.  My dad who is one of my biggest supporters now(he was totally against the surgery) always asks me if I am walking again yet.  He tells me he doesn't want to see me go back to the way I was before since I seem so much happier and healthier now.

It is a life time change. 

Linda 

I was very naive when I first thought about WLS.  I really thought it was a cure and you would never gain weight again after having it.  I was shocked when I heard that some people had regained their weight.  I just didn't see how that was possible with such a small stomach.  Then I had WLS and I pushed it and pushed it.  It was magic the first 2 years.  No matter what I ate I lost weight. Then in the third year I started gaining.  I thought it was the famous bounce back people talked about and didn't worry about it.  Even for the first 5 years I was pretty happy even though I was regaining.  It wasn't as much as it would have been if I didn't have the surgery and I really thought it was going to stop any minute.  Then it started coming on pretty fast and I found myself in the same position as before surgery.  I knew I had to do something about my eating but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.  Because my surgery wasn't done correctly (in my opinion) I had a large stomach and could eat as much as ever.  All I got were issues because of the malabsorption.  I was pretty thick back then and it took a lot for me to finally get it through my head that WLS was a tool and that was all.  I knew I heard that from day one but I didn't really want to believe it.

I hope they are doing a better job now of educating people looking into WLS about the responsibilities of having surgery.  Anyone that thinks they don't have to make changes to their lifestyle after surgery needs to be informed of what they will need to do for life.  Maybe they are but I know I wasn't.  Back in 2002 all I had to do was show that my insurance would pay and that was it.  Not one class, not one pysch appointment, nothing.  No wonder I failed miserably.  Not even a post op diet.  I just got a sheet telling me to take one multivitamin and 1500 of calcium citrate a day.  That was it.

I didn't tell anyone about my surgery until right before.  In those few short weeks I heard one story after another about someone who gained all of their weight back.  I didn't know much about WLS then since I hadn't experienced it yet but I'm betting they didn't have a good nutritionist or a good support group like my LW's. Practically everything I learned was from reading and posting on this board.  I'm not sure this is something you can learn on your own without support and lots of ideas and experiences being shared.

I'm hoping that just 1 of those people that shared a failure story also shares my success story with someone.   I know of a few people who have had surgery after approaching me with questions but not one of them has started posting on here as far as I know. I hope they succeed and are happy.  If they start to fail I hope they give me a call.

 

As a "newbee" I want to respond to this post by first saying I did all my research and all my soul searching before committing myself to this way of life.  All though I am only 3.5 weeks out I feel like I have been living the life for 3.5 months now.

Second I want to say that this life would be a miserable life if you didn’t have a support system…I don’t know if I could learn all the skills and grow the mental fortitude it takes to live this disciplined life style if I didn’t have the support of this board (and my family). 

(sip sip as I type)

I have been absolutely counting on, leaning on, and in my own way loving all of you veterans on here that give me so much of your time and wisdom with regards to all things WLS.  I don’t want to be the poster person for WLS either, but I do want to be just like you all are.  A VETERAN OF WLS.  For years to come I want to still be active on this board…learning more…helping others…whatever I can put into it and whatever I can get out of it.

I don’t want to be ammunition for the naysayers…I want to be a success story…just a quite one…

To me the surgeries open the door to a better life .. but YOU have to dare to walk through it , try daily to achieve your dreams .. fail ,fall , try again ..all as a new person not so dependent on excess food .  

We al GOT these surgeries because we dreamed of a different life .  Falling back into old habits just DOESNT MAKE SENSE ​  I mean   ... if you do what you always did you're   gonna get what you always got .. duh . 

For me the key is putting the passion  I  devoted to acquiring  cooking  experimenting with  etc  FOOD  into something better and far more meaningful .. art . 

 

 

 

I think society wants fat people to suffer for their character flaws (because you can't get fat if there isn't something wrong with your character) and so they see WLS as a big cheat because you can lose weight without suffering (supposedly) and because it works.

Therefore, this stuff isn't logical. I mean we all know diets don't work. That people go on diets and not only gain all their weight back but more than they started. But how many times have you joined Jenny Craig or Weigh****ches or any diet program, even sometimes a fad one, and had people tell you horror stories about those programs or how they knew someone who joined them and gained all their weight back?

Yeah, that's right. Instead they congratulate you and encourage you and if they tel you a story, it's about someone they know who joined those program and lost weight!

But for WLS, most people don't gain ALL their weigth back. Even people who had it in the dark ages with little support and the techniques not as good as they are today tend to keep off around 50% several decades out. But you wouldn't know that from the stories! On no, you'd think they ALL gained ALL their weight back and half of them were deadly ill on top of it!

I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if telling people I had surgery is going to really change things. I tell people anyway cause that's how I roll. But I think the people who want to hate WLS just ignore that and continue to tell their stories. And I've got someone on another board, not about WLS, that absolutely HATES me because I had WLS. Hates me. He's never met me but the fact that I've had WLS and been successful drives him mad.

You aren't going to be able to change the mind of a person like that.

If you can't tell, this bugs me to death.

This is really an interesting post.

I usually tell people if it comes up that I had VSG, but I also go to Weigh****chers meetings for group support and I have not said anything in the meetings there. Just have not wanted to deal with it. I keep kinda a low profile there.

In one of my surgeon's group meetings I went to shortly after my surgery, a lady from OA was there. She had WLS and had gained much of it back. She talked about how she starting "nibbling" crackers, cookies, etc. and everything slowly came back on. I thought at the time, early on, oh that won't be me. That has kept in my mind, and now that I am 19 months out, can see how that could happen. It is SO EASY to fall back into comfortable habits. I am still at goal weight, but on the high end of my goal (135 is goal, I had been hovering at 129-132 last fall, but now anywhere 134-136) - so I am planning on buckling down.

Anyway - didn't mean to ramble, am going to post about this on another post without hijacking this thread.

Great discusion!