One holiday down...

Sep 07, 2010

Okay so Labor Day is over...and I am thrilled!  Why, you might ask?...Labor Day is my first holiday post-op...for me there was anxiety because of all the food I knew I would not be able to eat.  Yes, I already know that I should not think about food, and it should not have that much power over me, but this is a reality for me.  My family went to PA for the holiday weekend to celebrate my husbands moms 80th Birthday, now keep in mind PA has the best cheesesteaks, pretzels, pizza and gelati's (italian ice with ice cream)!  The initial shock was absolute torture!  Everywhere I went it literally seemed like I was being tormented with foods that I couldn't have.  I tried as best I could not to make a big deal out of it on the outside to bring attention to myself, but inside I was screaming!!!  I am home now and all the foods are just a distant memory now!...My sons and husband indulged like I thought they would (I'm just jealous) and I on the other hand had sugar free ice, baked turkey and a soft scrambled egg ...yes I was furious, but every time I felt like I was being left out, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at the new face that I am starting to see, and most of all at the size 18 dress I was wearing!....One month ago I was wearing a size 24/26 and I have to say I smiled and kept it moving!  We did a lot of site seeing this trip and it felt great to be able to walk with everyone else!...Did I miss the food...HELL YES!!!, but would it have been okay to fall into the "food trap"?...ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  I'm not sure if I will ever get to the point where I am not nervous about being around the bar-b-que ribs, the potato salad, the cakes and pies...but I really felt like I won!....I kicked all those foods in their hinny!!!  It didn't hit me until I got back home that this really is a LIFE journey...I will have to take this one day at a time, I will focus on the foods that I can have and not the foods that I can't!....I am still not sure what to eat but as I become a veteran at this WLS...I am going to do everything in my power to find healthy foods that will make me happy!...or at least feel like I can be around everyone no matter what they are eating I will concentrate on me!....Thanksgiving is the next big one, and I am ready for it!...I do not want to give food the power over my life anymore...when and how will I finally take "total control" over food?

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