Dollface-1981
Jan 17/12 - Relationships after WLS
Jan 17, 2012
A fellow WLS patient just uploaded a video about her experiences with relationships post weight loss. I thought it was a great topic and thought I would share my own views since they were quite different from hers. Which is not surprising since I know that everyone has different experiences!
First... Friendships. Most of my friends have been nothing but supportive and nice (although I'm sure they may get sick of me talking about it and who knows what they say when I'm not around lol) I do try not to talk about it too much with certain people because i don't want them to feel uncomfortable but it is hard when its such a huge part of my life and im so excited about it! I know for myself that some of my friendships have dwindled over the past few months. I do understand that friendships can change after WLS especially if those friendships revolve around food. I have seen that there can be some jealousy when someone loses a lot of weight.. Others can feel left behind. I know this because i have been on both sides of it. I feel that if you do lose friends through this process, maybe some of those friendships would've ended anyway. Not just because of weight loss. And then there are the people who I hardly ever used to talk to who are super friendly to me now... Part of me want to ask them why they all of a sudden have such an interest in me when a year ago they wouldn't have even given me the time of day. Then there are the friends who say things.. Intentionally or not... That hurt. Asking why I just didn't go to the gym more or eat less. Why I was taking the easy way out when there are others that they know who lost 100 pounds on Jenny Craig etc. Those people don't understand that obesity is a disease. I'm not just lazy and I didn't just eat junk food all day everyday. Yes I made poor choices but there was so much more to it. And if you think the having Gastric Bypass is the easy way out, you are VERY mistaken! Last but not least there are the friends that I have made BECAUSE of WLS. Some that I have had the privilege to meet in person and some that I only know online but I consider them part of my family. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful support system. I cherish each and everyone of my friends!
As for family... For the most part my family has been very supportive. I know when my sister lost all of her weight I was VERY jealous of her. I thought she was changing and leaving me behind we didn't have things in common anymore and i resented her. It wasn't until I myself was losing the weight that i finally understood what she went through. I have had weight issues with some family members my whole life and I know that there are some that didn't believe that I could do it or thought I would fail or think that i will regain it all back. I am only 7 months out but I intend to prove them wrong. Family is family no matter what and I believe I have become a lot closer with mine through this.
Now when it comes to sexual relationships, My husband and I were together for almost 3 years before I had surgery. We got married when my weight was at my highest. I know he loves me no matter what I look like. I also know that he loves the fact that I have more "stamina" now lol Even though I am still very self conscience about my skin and I think he is too. I feel almost more self conscience now then when i was bigger. At least then I filled out my skin and had big breasts. Now that I am getting smaller I have sooo much skin. It's gross. I hide it with spanx and padded bras but when it's just my husband and I at home... It's not that easy. I constantly feel that I am unattractive. It's a hard transition full of emotions and stress. And I know how hard its been for him too.. Watching me get sick and going to the doctors with me. Feeling guilty for eating things in front of me when he shouldn't because he didn't choose this, I did. I have seen and heard of many relationships ending after WLS. I believe that if you didn't have a strong relationship before.. Having surgery will not fix it. I am VERY thankful to have such a supportive husband!
Only keep those in your life that want to be there. The rest aren't worth your time!
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First... Friendships. Most of my friends have been nothing but supportive and nice (although I'm sure they may get sick of me talking about it and who knows what they say when I'm not around lol) I do try not to talk about it too much with certain people because i don't want them to feel uncomfortable but it is hard when its such a huge part of my life and im so excited about it! I know for myself that some of my friendships have dwindled over the past few months. I do understand that friendships can change after WLS especially if those friendships revolve around food. I have seen that there can be some jealousy when someone loses a lot of weight.. Others can feel left behind. I know this because i have been on both sides of it. I feel that if you do lose friends through this process, maybe some of those friendships would've ended anyway. Not just because of weight loss. And then there are the people who I hardly ever used to talk to who are super friendly to me now... Part of me want to ask them why they all of a sudden have such an interest in me when a year ago they wouldn't have even given me the time of day. Then there are the friends who say things.. Intentionally or not... That hurt. Asking why I just didn't go to the gym more or eat less. Why I was taking the easy way out when there are others that they know who lost 100 pounds on Jenny Craig etc. Those people don't understand that obesity is a disease. I'm not just lazy and I didn't just eat junk food all day everyday. Yes I made poor choices but there was so much more to it. And if you think the having Gastric Bypass is the easy way out, you are VERY mistaken! Last but not least there are the friends that I have made BECAUSE of WLS. Some that I have had the privilege to meet in person and some that I only know online but I consider them part of my family. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful support system. I cherish each and everyone of my friends!
As for family... For the most part my family has been very supportive. I know when my sister lost all of her weight I was VERY jealous of her. I thought she was changing and leaving me behind we didn't have things in common anymore and i resented her. It wasn't until I myself was losing the weight that i finally understood what she went through. I have had weight issues with some family members my whole life and I know that there are some that didn't believe that I could do it or thought I would fail or think that i will regain it all back. I am only 7 months out but I intend to prove them wrong. Family is family no matter what and I believe I have become a lot closer with mine through this.
Now when it comes to sexual relationships, My husband and I were together for almost 3 years before I had surgery. We got married when my weight was at my highest. I know he loves me no matter what I look like. I also know that he loves the fact that I have more "stamina" now lol Even though I am still very self conscience about my skin and I think he is too. I feel almost more self conscience now then when i was bigger. At least then I filled out my skin and had big breasts. Now that I am getting smaller I have sooo much skin. It's gross. I hide it with spanx and padded bras but when it's just my husband and I at home... It's not that easy. I constantly feel that I am unattractive. It's a hard transition full of emotions and stress. And I know how hard its been for him too.. Watching me get sick and going to the doctors with me. Feeling guilty for eating things in front of me when he shouldn't because he didn't choose this, I did. I have seen and heard of many relationships ending after WLS. I believe that if you didn't have a strong relationship before.. Having surgery will not fix it. I am VERY thankful to have such a supportive husband!
Only keep those in your life that want to be there. The rest aren't worth your time!
Jan 16/12 - A painful night!
Jan 16, 2012
My husband and I went out for dinner last night because we received some gift cards for Christmas. We don't hardly ever go out (not really much point for me to eat anywhere lol) but it was a nice idea and we went. My husband ordered an appetizer and I had some.. even though I should have known better. I had some potato skins and two chips with spinach dip on them.
Well that was the start to a very long night. I started to get a tightness feeling in my stomach so I figured I was just full or going to be sick. My heart started to race and my face got very hot. All things that have happened in the past which I associated with dumping. I didn't even touch my dinner and by the time my husband was done eating I was in a lot of pain. We went to Chapters to walk around, thinking that would help but it didn't and by the time we got home the pain was pretty intense. After it had been about 3 hours we decided to go to the hospital.
I was nervous to go though, still thinking it was just because of what I ate and I didn't want to get embarrassed when they told me it was nothing... but on the other hand I know many people who have had the same symptoms and it ended up being their gallbladder.. or worse.. and after having Gastric Bypass... I wasn't going to take any chances!
We ended up having to wait for hours of course before it was all said and done... they did blood work and took 4 xrays.. both came back fine. They gave me a shot of morphine and a shot of gravol (both in my behind!) and when it finally kicked in I felt much better.. but up until that point I was in the worst pain I have ever experienced... other than childbirth. I could not get comfortable no matter how hard I tried and my whole right side.. stomach, and back was just in sooo much pain!
My husband came back with me to the hospital this morning and I had an ultrasound done. Again we had to wait for hours... I really hate hospitals! We finally got the results back and I do have gallstones. The doctor said they were uncomplicated.. which means they were not inflaming my gallbladder.. but I just had an episode probably brought on by my poor food choices. Sigh.
So they have me on a liquid diet today.. and then back to soft purees tomorrow. I go to see my surgeon Dr. Hagen on Thursday.. I'm not sure what is going to happen but part of me hopes they decide to take it out.. its so hard to know if my pains are from that or from the bypass. I did know going into this that gallstones were a possibility because of the rapid weight loss... but I never thought it would be this painful!!!!
Lesson learned though.. that's for sure! And can I just add that my husband is my rock and Im so glad I had him with me the whole time!!!
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Well that was the start to a very long night. I started to get a tightness feeling in my stomach so I figured I was just full or going to be sick. My heart started to race and my face got very hot. All things that have happened in the past which I associated with dumping. I didn't even touch my dinner and by the time my husband was done eating I was in a lot of pain. We went to Chapters to walk around, thinking that would help but it didn't and by the time we got home the pain was pretty intense. After it had been about 3 hours we decided to go to the hospital.
I was nervous to go though, still thinking it was just because of what I ate and I didn't want to get embarrassed when they told me it was nothing... but on the other hand I know many people who have had the same symptoms and it ended up being their gallbladder.. or worse.. and after having Gastric Bypass... I wasn't going to take any chances!
We ended up having to wait for hours of course before it was all said and done... they did blood work and took 4 xrays.. both came back fine. They gave me a shot of morphine and a shot of gravol (both in my behind!) and when it finally kicked in I felt much better.. but up until that point I was in the worst pain I have ever experienced... other than childbirth. I could not get comfortable no matter how hard I tried and my whole right side.. stomach, and back was just in sooo much pain!
My husband came back with me to the hospital this morning and I had an ultrasound done. Again we had to wait for hours... I really hate hospitals! We finally got the results back and I do have gallstones. The doctor said they were uncomplicated.. which means they were not inflaming my gallbladder.. but I just had an episode probably brought on by my poor food choices. Sigh.
So they have me on a liquid diet today.. and then back to soft purees tomorrow. I go to see my surgeon Dr. Hagen on Thursday.. I'm not sure what is going to happen but part of me hopes they decide to take it out.. its so hard to know if my pains are from that or from the bypass. I did know going into this that gallstones were a possibility because of the rapid weight loss... but I never thought it would be this painful!!!!
Lesson learned though.. that's for sure! And can I just add that my husband is my rock and Im so glad I had him with me the whole time!!!
Jan 7/12 - size 16 !!!!
Jan 07, 2012
Last night I bought two pairs of jeans. A size 18 because I only have two pairs, and a pair of size 16 because they were only 12 dollars and I knew I'd need them eventually. This morning I tried on the pair of size 16 jeans just for fun and the fit perfectly. I was so shocked that I sat down in my bed and cried I have gone from a size 28 to a size 16 in 7 months. It's so crazy. Is it weird that the attention freaks me out a bit? Don't get me wrong... I like it and I appreciate the kind words but sometimes it's just awkward lol. I have also moved away from plus size underwear! How nice it is not to have to be pulling them up non stop! I love my RNY.
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Jan 5/12 - A trying month...
Jan 05, 2012
December was a really trying month for me. My whole family ended up getting that horrible flu that was going around. My daughter had pneumonia, my husband ended up with a chest infection and I had the stomach flu and a wicked cough. I got to the point where I couldn't eat because I was throwing up so much, and then when I got to the point that I could eat, nothing would stay down because I had gone so long without food.
The doctor ended up putting me back on liquids for about a week, and that is what ended up pushing me over my 100 pound loss. So it wasn't necessarily a bad thing!
Unfortunately, not being able to go to the gym for almost two weeks was. I tried a few times to go back early but I would get half way through my work out and have a coughing fit! Then they were closed way to much over Christmas and New Years in my opinion.
I really tried to stay away from Christmas goodies, but I may have had a nibble here and there... and I may have paid for it... here and there. Was it worth it... No. But it was Christmas! And boy am I ever glad it is over!
Now I'm so happy to be back into my routine, back to the gym 5 days a week, back taking my vitamins everyday (thankfully I switched to vitamins that I can swallow because the chewable ones were just awful and I admittedly skipped more than I took lately.)
That is what I take in a week... A lot less then when I was having to take the chewables!!!!!
Ive only lost about 8 pounds in the last month... my weight loss had slowed.. as I knew it would.. but I really think I would have lost more if I had been able to be consistent at the gym and if it wasn't for those darn Christmas goodies!
My new years resolution was to have more self discipline. I'm trying so hard.. but its not always so easy... my gastric bypass is just a tool... I still have to use it right!
Here I am today... a third of who I was 7 months ago!!!!
100 pounds gone!
Dec 04, 2011
Well, I am officially down 100 pounds as of today! What a crazy 5 1/2 months this has been!!! This is a great milestone and one Im so glad I reached! Everyone is starting to take notice and ask me about it.. and as much as it is awkward to talk about it... Id be lying if I said I didn't love it! Ive worked really hard to get here.. and its so nice to be complimented for it! I love my clavicles and elbows.. I love smaller clothes.. I love crossing my legs.. I love having so much more energy.. I love that I love the gym! I do not take this for granted, and I am thankful every day for this gift!
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90 pounds!
Nov 18, 2011
If you had asked me last year if I thought I could lose 90 pounds in 5 months I would have laughed at you.... but here I am, 5 months since surgery and down 90 freakin pounds lol
I cant begin to tell you what a difference this has made in my life. Ive never been so happy, or energetic or motivated to to anything. Ive been going to Curves everyday... and loving every minute of it!!!!!
Im still learning, and I still have bad days, bad hours, bad minutes... but they are definitely father apart now, so I am enjoying the good days so much more!
I could never have gotten where I am without my husband, kids and family. I am so thankful for all the support I have had!!!!!
Ten more pounds and I get my tattoo! Cant wait!!!!!
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I cant begin to tell you what a difference this has made in my life. Ive never been so happy, or energetic or motivated to to anything. Ive been going to Curves everyday... and loving every minute of it!!!!!
Im still learning, and I still have bad days, bad hours, bad minutes... but they are definitely father apart now, so I am enjoying the good days so much more!
I could never have gotten where I am without my husband, kids and family. I am so thankful for all the support I have had!!!!!
Ten more pounds and I get my tattoo! Cant wait!!!!!
Family Portrait!
Nov 17, 2011
Today my husband, children and I had a family portrait done! It was our first one. Why you ask? I think you know. I never wanted to do one because of how I looked... but they turned out pretty good! Im really glad we did them.. and I now have presents to give to grandparents for Christmas!
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Sugar Free Brownies!!
Nov 11, 2011
I picked these up while I was in New York at the OH event... Why is it that they dont make Sugar Free anything in Canada ??? LOL.... its probably for the best since they are not carb free.. but its nice for a little snack once....
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Zumba :)
Nov 09, 2011
Today I had my 6th workout at Curves. Everyday I go I love it even more!!!! I even purchased a few Curves tshirts.. so now I fit right in lol And the machines are getting easier.. I think Ive picked it up pretty quick :) The back of my legs are killing me though but it comes with the territory.
Tomorrow morning I get to be set up on CurvesSmart. I'm excited to get going and to have it push me. That way Ill know if I'm doing it right! I decided to go back today to do a Zumba class. I wasn't sure if I would go since I was so tired after my workout.. but I couldn't resist!
IT WAS SOOO HARD LOL The instructor was awesome, and full of energy.. but she could move in ways that I don't think I will ever be able to! For every one step I did she did about three.. and no matter how hard I tried my legs couldn't keep up! Also I am so not coordinated! Trying to move my hands and legs at the same time was a huge challenge. Thankfully I did not feel embarrassed at all and spent most of the time laughing at myself.
By the end my heart was pumping and I was super sweaty so I must have been doing something right! I'm going to keep going every week.. hopefully I will pick up on the moves. Ill also be able to practice between classes on Zumba for Wii :) I love that its at Curves and that it is only $2 per class. You have the choice to Zumba the whole time, or Zumba for one min, and then to a machine for one min. Cant wait till next week!!! I highly recommend it!!!
www.curves.com
Oh ya.. I was at GT BOUTIQUE lol.. and one of the cashiers was looking at me.. and said... There's something different about you... you got your hair done.. but that's not it.. you've lost weight!!!!! LOL People are really starting to notice!!! And like Ive said before.. I really appreciate the compliments.. but I don't know what to say!!!!
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Tomorrow morning I get to be set up on CurvesSmart. I'm excited to get going and to have it push me. That way Ill know if I'm doing it right! I decided to go back today to do a Zumba class. I wasn't sure if I would go since I was so tired after my workout.. but I couldn't resist!
IT WAS SOOO HARD LOL The instructor was awesome, and full of energy.. but she could move in ways that I don't think I will ever be able to! For every one step I did she did about three.. and no matter how hard I tried my legs couldn't keep up! Also I am so not coordinated! Trying to move my hands and legs at the same time was a huge challenge. Thankfully I did not feel embarrassed at all and spent most of the time laughing at myself.
By the end my heart was pumping and I was super sweaty so I must have been doing something right! I'm going to keep going every week.. hopefully I will pick up on the moves. Ill also be able to practice between classes on Zumba for Wii :) I love that its at Curves and that it is only $2 per class. You have the choice to Zumba the whole time, or Zumba for one min, and then to a machine for one min. Cant wait till next week!!! I highly recommend it!!!
www.curves.com
Oh ya.. I was at GT BOUTIQUE lol.. and one of the cashiers was looking at me.. and said... There's something different about you... you got your hair done.. but that's not it.. you've lost weight!!!!! LOL People are really starting to notice!!! And like Ive said before.. I really appreciate the compliments.. but I don't know what to say!!!!
