Dollface-1981
Feb 4/12 - I Can Do It!!!!
Feb 04, 2012
I finally got my tattoo! I have thought about what tattoo I would get when I lost 100 pounds since before I even had my Gastric Bypass... and I really wasn't sure for a long time if it would even happen! Its been a long road getting here and even though I'm not quite done yet.. I am so proud of my WLS tattoo. It was worth every minute of the pain (and yes it was painful!) I am covered in tattoos... and even though it may not look like it... I hate getting tattooed!
Here I am ready to start...
Getting the outline done... Its been a long time since I have had a large tattoo done and the outline hurt really bad for the first few minutes... but thankfully I get used to it pretty fast!!!
And here it is :) My take on the famous Rosie the Riveter WWII icon. Ive always liked her and Im thankful that Jason (my co worker who did my tattoo for me) was able to make her into the old school type of tattoo that I love! Clean lines and bright colours.. I couldn't be happier with her! Shes been a long time coming!
Feb 2/12 - losing in all the wrong places :(
Feb 01, 2012
I bought a new bra today. Size 34C. This whole weight loss journey has been about getting smaller and losing inches... But to be able to fit into a 34C hurts my heart. I didn't have much in the breast area growing up... Even as a teenager I was lucky if I was a B Cup. I didn't start to develop until I started having kids. The more kids I had, the more weight I put on... The bigger my breasts would get.
Before surgery I was a 40F. I guess I felt like it was my best feature. Now I am a VERY deflated 34C. It makes me real sad. I can deal with the saggy skin pretty much everywhere else but I hate my breasts. I guess I'm having a bad day. After being in so much pain with my gallbladder ... By the way the clinic was closed yesterday so I have to go back today at 5.... And then shopping for smaller bras...
And then watching the show called "My 600 Pound Life" I guess I've put myself in a bit of a funk :( That show is really good. Ive only seen one episode but they followed a lady named Melissa for 7 years through her Gastric Bypass Journey ... Her starting weight was around 650 pounds and she got down to around 157... An then back up to 214 by the end. They showed her going through surgery, and then through skin removal... Depression... Complications... Losing a baby... Having a cheating husband... So much for one person to go through... Yet she did it. Amazing. Definitely an inspiration.
And after watching what she had to go through... My self image issues seem pretty stupid in comparison!!!! I have so much to be thankful for ... I really shouldn't waste time on the "woe is me" crap! Annnddd..... I'm done.
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Before surgery I was a 40F. I guess I felt like it was my best feature. Now I am a VERY deflated 34C. It makes me real sad. I can deal with the saggy skin pretty much everywhere else but I hate my breasts. I guess I'm having a bad day. After being in so much pain with my gallbladder ... By the way the clinic was closed yesterday so I have to go back today at 5.... And then shopping for smaller bras...
And then watching the show called "My 600 Pound Life" I guess I've put myself in a bit of a funk :( That show is really good. Ive only seen one episode but they followed a lady named Melissa for 7 years through her Gastric Bypass Journey ... Her starting weight was around 650 pounds and she got down to around 157... An then back up to 214 by the end. They showed her going through surgery, and then through skin removal... Depression... Complications... Losing a baby... Having a cheating husband... So much for one person to go through... Yet she did it. Amazing. Definitely an inspiration.
And after watching what she had to go through... My self image issues seem pretty stupid in comparison!!!! I have so much to be thankful for ... I really shouldn't waste time on the "woe is me" crap! Annnddd..... I'm done.
Feb 1/12 - Hernia?? Hematoma??
Feb 01, 2012
I am 9 days out from having my Gallbladder removed. For the most part I am feeling better and my incisions on my stomach are healing nicely...
BUT the one they did inside my bellybutton is sooooo sore! It hurts to wear pants, its horrible to lay on my side, going from a sitting to as standing position it so painful... it feels like pulling and burning, and when I lay down there is a huge hard lump behind it.
I'm probably over reacting ... but Google answers scared the crap out of me!!! Everyone told me this surgery would be a breeze.. and I guess compared to Gastric Bypass it was.. but I honestly thought I would be feeling so much better than what I am... especially after 9 days!
TMI sorry..... A few days ago I finally had to go #2.. after not going for almost 6 days.... it was painful and I strained A LOT to get it out... I'm worried maybe Ive caused a hernia... (ps.. I am now dealing with the complete opposite of being constipated... and I really dont know whats worse!!!)
The other thought is maybe a hematoma... but either way it is not fun! I'm going to the walk in after work today just to be on the safe side... Again I'm afraid of looking foolish if its nothing.. but look what happened last time!!!
I will update later today!
Jan 28/12 - New Do!!!
Jan 28, 2012
I got my hair cut today! When I was younger I lives having short hair. I always felt like there was so many ways to style it. Then when I started gaining weight I started to grow my hair out. It made me feel more comfortable and safe to have long hair to hide behind and camouflage my du-lap!!!
Since having my Gastric Bypass I've noticed that every time I would go for a haircut it would get shorter and shorter... And then today I went all out and just chopped it all off!
I didn't know if I liked it at first... Its soo different but I do. I love it! It's hard to explain... I know it's just hair but if felt so liberating. I have no reason to hide anymore! I can't wait to show it off at work tomorrow!
P.S. I am the queen of before and after pictures.. I love to compare.. most of the time its the only way I can see a difference!!
Jan 26/12 - Feelind better
Jan 28, 2012
Its been 3 days now since my gallbladder surgery and I can honestly say it was much worse than I expected! I guess I was thinking it was going to be so easy compared to my Gastric Bypass... And it was but because I came home the first day and had different pain meds... It just seems like it hurts so much more.
I was able to move around better today and I was able to shower myself ( which felt really nice!) but it wore me out pretty bad! My fear has been realized.. super constipated.. even after taking multiple shots of MOM and many ExLax... it really does suck!!!
The kids have been really great! They are such good helpers. Kayla made dinner tonight (pork chops, veggies and pasta) and Ewans been a big help with Pedro and helping with the dishes.
As for me, I'm finding it hard to eat. Pretty much everything makes me nauseous ... So I've stuck with protein shakes and soups for the most part. Its really hard for me to be at home for this long without going stir crazy! Thankfully I have an extreamly thoughtful husband who went out and bought me some paint by numbers.. they have been a life savor! Wasted many hours.. here is one I just finished :)
Jan 24/12 - A very long night!
Jan 28, 2012
I probably only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Partly because I slept so much yesterday... And partly because I was just so uncomfortable! The gas pains are just wicked and when I finally get them under control my incision pains kick in... It's a vicious circle I tel you!
My husband has been absolutely amazing though. He spent the night sleeping on the living room floor so he could be next to me if I needed anything. I spent the night in my recliner because it was just way to painful to lay flat. I have spent many a night sleeping in my recliner though so I'm pretty used to it!
I'm trying to use my pain meds sparingly ... Not because I want too but because I'm afraid of becoming crazy constipated! It's the worst feeling in the world. The hospital did send me home with some Milk of Magnesia (just in case) Also I knew there was something wrong with my IV.. it hurt so much yesterday.. and I woke up with my hand like this :
I'm still pretty loopy and drift in and out a lot. I'm just trying to update on my phone when I can or I'm afraid I'm going to forget how I felt when all is said and done!
My kids come home today from their Grandma's. She was kind enough to take them for the night. I'm hoping the cooperate with me until I'm feeling back to normal !!!!
We will see.. One day at a time!
Jan 23/12 - A little less of me
Jan 28, 2012
Today was a Very long day. I've never been so glad to be home! (I'm a little loopy so forgive me if I repeat myself or don't make sense!)
We left this morning at 7am (after a not so good sleep... Even though I knew I would be fine I was pretty anxious) We made it to the hospital in just over an hour which was great considering there was traffic and an accident!
When we got there they had me fill out paperwork and wait. Then they had me change into my very sexy gown and hairnet and slippers.
Which by the way fit sooo much better than the one I had to wear 7 months ago that didn't even do up! Then we had to wait some more. I was called in to have my IV put in (hurt like hell this time)
back to the waiting room to wait some more... I didn't end up going to the operating room till almost noon so it was a long anxious wait!
There is nothing more scary to me than lying in an operating room waiting to be put to sleep. I've had to do it 3 times and I really hope not again for a long time! When they finally gave me the goods... I was out like a light within seconds!
Bye Bye Gallbladder!!!
It's the weirdest feeling waking up from the surgery. Being in a different place... Feeling like you just closed your eyes... And being in the most excruciating pain of my life. It was a very similar experience to when I had my Bypass. It hurt so much under my ribs, in my back and in my right shoulder. I know it was just gas from them expanding my insides but it's a horrible feeling! They gave me 3 injections of morphine and a few hits of gravol before it became tolerable.
After about an hour they sent me upstairs to the recovery room. I was sooo sleepy! I've never wanted to sleep so much in my life!
I was really surprised that they had to make 4 incisions... I was only expecting 2. I wish they could've used some of my existing scars but they didn't so now I have 11 scars on my belly... Connect the dots anyone?
The nurses were all very nice and I always appreciate what they do for me BUT there is a time and a place to check out and ask about my tattoos and that was NOT it.
I had 4 different nurses pull at my nightgown, lift my blankets, move my arms and twist my legs just to get a better look at my tattoos and I was too sore to even try to stop them. I know people are curious about my tattoos and I don't usually mind... It's to be expected when you have a lot but REALLY? I was on the verge of tears I was so frustrated. I wanted to get out of there ASAP! I was in quite a bit of pain... More so discomfort but I was surprised at how I felt compared to the last time! (the crazy amounts of drugs they pumped into me may have had a bit to do with it!) but being able to get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed without dying from pain was pretty awesome !!!
It was a pretty hard ride home but my mom was awesome to try to make it as comfortable as possible! I can't thank my mom enough for being there for me today... It means sooo much to me that she made the long trip down just for the day and have to turn around and head right home after... She's amazing and I'm so grateful to have her in my life.
So now I'm home, and I have my wonderful husband waiting on me hand and foot... I'm a super lucky girl to have him! I'm hurting pretty bad right now but I know it could be worse and I'm sure I'll be feeling as good as new in a few days. I'm glad it's over and I guess I can just chalk it up to another adventure on my WLS journey!
Jan 21/12 - I forgot to mention...
Jan 28, 2012
I forgot to mention yesterday that while I was at Dr. Hagen's office yesterday he weighed me. I weigh 220 pounds. Which means I have lost 114 pounds so far, which means I only have 40 more pounds till I reach Dr. Hagen's goal, which means I only have 21 more pounds to lose till I reach Onederland !!! Yay !!
I took my daughter to Curves with me tonight because they do Zumba there every week and I really thought she would like it. It's hard but such a good work out and soo much fun. I'm finding that it's getting easier every time I do it too which is a bonus! Kayla loved it and she was soo good at it. She has natural rhythm... Something she did not inherit from me! I couldn't help smile though while I was watching her. She's growing up so fast!
It actually makes me sad that I'm going to miss Zumba next week and a few weeks of Curves... It's become such a part of my routine. I think I'm scared if I miss too many classes that I'll stop going and I REALLY don't want that to happen.
Anyway, I went for my PATTS today and it went SO much better and faster than I could've expected! We ended up getting there an hour early (thanks to the lovely Nikki for driving me there and back!!!) And hardly had to wait long at all! They called me in to see the nurse after 15 minutes of waiting and she went over all the same things the went over when I had my Bypass. It went a lot fast since they already had all of my information. She just went over what to expect the day of surgery... I had a strong feeling of deja vu ... Same info... Different surgery! The nurse didn't even get a chance to send me back to the waiting room because the blood work guy grabbed me from her office. They took 4 viles of blood from me and sent me right for an EKG. Everyone who I talked to had something to ask about my tattoos :) They then sent me downstairs for an X-ray ... Not really sure what could've changed inside me since Monday but I went with it. I had to wait maybe 10 minutes and then I was done! We were back home by 4 pm. One of the best hospital experiences I've ever had. I really hate waiting so it was nice to be in and out for once! So I'm all prepped and ready to be back at the hospital first thing Monday morning :)
Jan 20/12 - P.A.T.T.s
Jan 20, 2012
I forgot to mention yesterday that while I was at Dr. Hagen's office yesterday he weighed me. I weigh 220 pounds. Which means I have lost 114 pounds so far, which means I only have 40 more pounds till I reach Dr. Hagen's goal, which means I only have 21 more pounds to lose till I reach Onederland !!! Yay !! I took my daughter to Curves with me tonight because they do Zumba there every week and I really thought she would like it. It's hard but such a good work out and soo much fun. I'm finding that it's getting easier every time I do it too which is a bonus! Kayla loved it and she was soo good at it. She has natural rhythm... Something she did not inherit from me! I couldn't help smile though while I was watching her. She's growing up so fast! It actually makes me sad that I'm going to miss Zumba next week and a few weeks of Curves... It's become such a part of my routine. I think I'm scared if I miss too many classes that I'll stop going and I REALLY don't want that to happen. Anyway, I went for my PATTS today and it went SO much better and faster than I could've expected! We ended up getting there an hour early (thanks to the lovely Nikki for driving me there and back!!!) And hardly had to wait long at all! They called me in to see the nurse after 15 minutes of waiting and she went over all the same things the went over when I had my Bypass. It went a lot fast since they already had all of my information. She just went over what to expect the day of surgery... I had a strong feeling of deja vu ... Same info... Different surgery! The nurse didn't even get a chance to send me back to the waiting room because the blood work guy grabbed me from her office. They took 4 viles of blood from me and sent me right for an EKG. Everyone who I talked to had something to ask about my tattoos :) They then sent me downstairs for an X-ray ... Not really sure what could've changed inside me since Monday but I went with it. I had to wait maybe 10 minutes and then I was done! We were back home by 4 pm. One of the best hospital experiences I've ever had. I really hate waiting so it was nice to be in and out for once! So I'm all prepped and ready to be back at the hospital first thing Monday morning :)
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Jan 19/12 - Gallbladder be gone!
Jan 19, 2012
Well it looks like my gallbladder issue is a bit worse than I thought! I went to see my Surgeon today. (Dr. Hagen) and he pretty much said it has to come out. Otherwise he was happy to see me and very happy with my progress! He scheduled me to have it removed Friday Feb 3rd. Which is in two weeks.
I was actually in a bit of shock... I didn't think it was going to have to come out at all. I just thought i would have to eat differently or something but he said it was just going to get worse and that if i had another attack before the 3rd to come straight to the hospital and he would do an emergency surgery. Just as I was wrapping my head around that and trying to figure out work and kids... They called me back and moved it to this Monday! Oh boy!
So now I have to get back to Toronto tomorrow to do my PATTS. Which if my memory serves me from past experiences could take a few hours! I don't know why I feel nervous... I know it's going to be a walk in the park compared to the Gastic Bypass but I still hate being put under! I think it's just the fact that it's all happened so fast! I can't wait not to have to deal with these pains anymore! Especially now that I know what they are. I thought it was from my eating or exercising and I was actually getting frustrated because I would get pain from eating something that I had eaten before and not had a problem with. Now I get it lol. Again I was aware that this could be an issue before I had Gastric Bypass but you never know how bad it can be until you are put in the situation! Thankfully I will be able to have my husband and my mom with me on Monday and I'm ready to get this out :)
