Melissa Mermaid

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I made a (new) general commercial for the Irvine event.  You can view it by clicking here.

In the meantime, please keep love and support and prayers headed in the direction of our WLS sister, Evelyn ... She is a revision from what was supposed to be an RNY who hoped to have the DS but during the procedure her surgeon found she was up against too much to complete it.  Instead, he refined the original weight loss surgery that was sort of nondescript into a more traditional RNY.

Evelyn has been in ICU for a week now and is on a respirator.  She is a loving Christian mother and a good, sweet person.  If anyone can lift her in prayer and help her find her way back to us in good health, it will be her OH brothers and sisters.

It is sobering to see someone with so much to live for be in such a perilous position.  It brings the concept even closer to home that we all must live every second for all its worth and be grateful for all we have as we have it--not just in retrospect.

We love you, E ... We need you ... You mean so much to us and your OH family is right here, ready to help you through.

I hope you are all enjoying holiday preparations and continue to move forward physically, emotionally and/or spiritually during your journey.

There's so much I'd like to share with you and have been keeping a lot of stuff very close to the vest.  At this point, this is what I CAN tell you and I'm so very excited and pleased to give you all the heads-up ... I'm working with OH to have "a significant DS focus" during their California convention (April 14-15 very close to the John Wayne Airport in Orange County).  This will include -- and certainly isn't limited to -- me speaking during the event, a nutritionist speaking specifically about the DS, and -- more than likely -- participation by one of our major DS surgeons.  OH is about to ink the contract re the final location and we will share that before the ink is even dry!!

Please ... Start putting this on your 2007 to-do list.  Having been to Kentucky for the OH event at the end of October 2006, I have to tell you ... It is incredibly fulfilling and a giant hug for one and all.  To think there can and WILL be a strong showing of DSers ... Well, it just doesn't get any better than that!  DH & I are planning a 10-day trip to the west coast specifically tailored around the event, so if you west coasters absolutely can't attend, maybe we can find a way to "hook up" while we're there.

In the meantime, please spread the word -- far and near -- to all the DS websites you visit.  I'm doing this not for OH's benefit as much as DSers everywhere. To think we can help guide pre-ops desperate to have their surgery of choice and bond with them as well as fellow post-ops ... I mean, seriously ... Think about it.  It's awesome, isn't it?!

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There will be more info about this and some other (more personal) stuff to share soon but suffice to say: I FREAKIN' LOVE MY DS BEYOND WORDS and am grateful for this chance to live life to its VERY FULLEST ... Because of my life as it stands today, an incredible amount of support, and subsequent positive events, I am correcting things that happened to me over 40 years ago and feeling a positivity and resilience I NEVER thought possible.  (And I've always been a "positive person!")

God bless each and every one of you ... May you delight in wonders beyond wonders during this holiday season ... and ... Well, cya in Orange County ... k???

Why is it now that we have an official "blog," I feel it's almost obligatory to reflect online in writing everyday?  I keep fighting the urge.

In any case, I've been working on this particular entry for two weeks.  Why?  Because it's my two year post-op anniversary and I wanted to find a way in which I could convey to you how incredibly awesome a two years it's been.  I know ... So cliche, right?  But it's so freakin' true.  When you take this tool and use it for all it's worth, everyday and in every way (okay ... MOST days and in MOST ways), it is the gift that keeps giving.  

I mean if you are a regular visitor to my profile I'm sure you have some idea of the progress I've made since my surgery but I'll give it to you in a nutshell:

~ I'm no longer bedridden.

~ I'm driving again.

~ I've taken two cruises.

~ I've flown to Las Vegas from NYC.

~ I've flown to Kentucky from NYC.

~ Almost all of my interpersonal relationships (especially with family) have improved/grown because my view of things is less burdened and harsh.  Overall, my perspective is brighter and more generous than ever.  I believe I need to take all this positivity I feel and continue to share it with all who care to accept it.
     A couple of relationships have deteriorated and while I wish things could be different, I have to accept that sometimes others see only what they want to see and what they think of me may not be my business. 
     I daily practice the 9th step of 12 step programs (for me that would be Overeaters' Anonymous) and take regular inventory of myself and my actions and when I am wrong, promptly make my amends.  There's not much more I can do.

~ At age 51, I see new muscles in my body almost daily that I didn't know existed -- at least not in me.  I've gone from a size 32 to a size 2; I've lost nearly 200 lbs -- from 321 lbs to 123 lb. Now 5'7" (I've grown an inch over the past two years as well), I am what one would term an "athletic build."  Many say I'm too thin but I say "I'm so freakin' healthy," I eat well and my bloods are great, so ... I really do believe I'm a-okay.

~ My husband tells people I'm a supermodel and we have pretty close to the life we've always dreamed about. By the grace of God we are not one of the divorce statistics; our love has deepened and grown on every level.  He is my hero.  He stood by me when I couldn't get out of bed and now lets me run ahead of him when I can't stop moving. 
     He showed a picture of me at work and a dimwitted co-worker said "What the HELL is SHE doing with YOU?"  And I told him to tell this co-worker that I am DH's result.  He built me ... He worked and stood by me with every single pound lost, every single bit of discomfort, every single growing pain before and through this process. I am now his 51 y/o trophy wife and it is a turn-on for us both that I make sure I look good for him -- even at the supermarket ...

I think you get the idea.  Simply put, I am an ecstatically grateful post-op who worked hard to get here, starting with 9 months of battling insurance to have my DS and really working food plans to have the maximum effectiveness of weight loss because my body was so compromised from the onset.

Of course, I didn't do it alone and just check my friends corner to see some of the OHers who helped me through this awesome journey.  Then of course there's DH, DD, DS and her family, and many tried-and-true lifelong friends of mine.

This journey so far has been proof that no one is too hopeless or helpless ... Life can become exactly as you design it ... and weight loss surgery is a gift with which we can do more than we had ever hoped.  It cannot be stressed enough that your life will NOT be perfect -- no matter what you've been told your whole life by well-meaning family and friends.  Life and shit WILL happen and you will have to cope with it.  But all the "noise" and perceptions of you by others that get in the way of your effectiveness when you're a bigger person will all but be erased and you will be more able to look in someone's eyes and let them see who you truly are.

I pray that each and every one of you will have the opportunity to feel what I feel today.  I know amongst all other things that I've been lucky in countless ways but I try to take that luck and do the right things with it.  I never really carried the emotional burden of being "the fat chick" because I always went in search of my wildest dreams, fat or thin.  But today I can tell you ... I'm LIVING them and it's very freakin' cool!

This is the most interesting month I can remember since my days as a rock'n'roll promoter.  Lots of great stuff, some lousy stuff, some scary stuff (in other words, a month of LIVING) but as usual, I've survived it and I'm still smiling.

9/30-10/9: We started the month on an Eastern Caribbean Cruise on the Crown Princess.  I ate whatever I wanted ... No, that doesn't mean I ate totally indiscriminantly and stuffed my face every ten seconds, it means that I enjoyed myself without the types of restrictions I tend to place on my eating (I ate something with real carbs in it daily ... OMG ... LOL!).  Word to all who travel Princess: Do not deny yourself one of the free chocolate chip cookies or the ice cream bon bons from the International Cafe ... Superb! ... and so rich that you couldn't overdo if you wanted.

The Crown Princess was a lovely ship, featuring "Movies Under the Stars" on one deck, a spa, a gym, and pretty much all other things that are standard on a cruise ship.  It's huge but "sectioned off" in a way that no one area seems massive; as a matter-of-fact they may have overdone in this respect as some areas got overly congested and claustrophobic when busy.

We had a beautiful balcony stateroom (albeit much smaller -- especially the bathroom -- than the Carnival Triumph was last year).  Balcony staterooms are the absolute best way to enjoy a cruise (and not that much higher in price), when sailing with someone you love.  This way you can enjoy all the romance of a cruise without the feeling that someone is watching you the whole time.  How wonderful to sit on our balcony and enjoy our coffee while the Caribbean sun shined on us and the shimmering ocean.

We went to Grand Turk, St. Thomas, San Juan and were scheduled to go to Bermuda but the weather did not permit us to dock.

A wonderful Chilean couple (Dino & Paula) joined us for dinner each night and we became great friends, in spite of the obvious language dissimilarities.  My NYC comprehension of Spanish and my high school Italian (Dino spoke Italian as well as Spanish) were put to the test but good.  They were so sweet and love to speak English because English is the most important second language in their country; commerce with the U.S. is a high priority there.

As wonderful as our cruise was last year, this was 10x better.  We spent some mornings working out in the gym and I got to show my prowess as a mermaid by braving any possible stares and criticism and donning a bathing suit, taking to the pool to work out but good.

We came home very tan and very happy.

Upon our return -- and very much unlike last year -- we were a flurry of activity.  (Last year we literally took to our bed for the following week after the cruise out of sheer exhaustion.)  

Dino & Paula were scheduled to stay in NYC for a couple of days, so we dropped our bags off at home and went right back out to take them sightseeing to the NYC I know.  We went to Greenwich Village, had a delightful dinner in Little Italy, and took a long yet solemn walk to the site of the World Trade Center.  They so respected what we as NYers went thru on 9/11.  At one point Paula and I comforted each other by hugging tightly, almost on the brink of tears.

10/10: DH & I headed back into Manhattan for the monthly NYC DS get-together.  I was so looking forward to him enjoying this wonderful group of women and taking part in the goings-on.  Unfortunately, he got a bit more than he bargained for -- and so did I.  It did not go as it normally would and kind of set a sequence of events in motion that would unfortunately alter our group's dynamic -- possibly forever.

10/11:  Again we traveled into Manhattan as we had tickets to see a taping of Rachael Ray's talk show.  The only problem was that they had seriously overbooked the show and we were unable to get in.  Considering they had already bumped us once from the summer ... That was it for us ... Seeing her just isn't THAT important!

10/12:  DH & I finally had a chance to really catch up on things at home and relax.  However, later that night my sister called and said my mother was being transported from the nursing home to a local hospital as she had become "unresponsive."  As I've mentioned before on these pages, her Alzheimer's is very advanced and these kinds of calls are scary.

We were at Mom's bedside constantly for the next four days.  At one point her lung x-rays were showing a shadow and they thought she might have cancer.  So sad ... How much does one have to suffer?  I mean she's already "the nursing home moaner" -- the main reason most people hate nursing homes.  (Her only way to communicate -- since she can't effectively convey her thoughts -- is to moan constantly.)  She was incredibly vocal for two days straight, even as the 103 y/o woman next to her lay on her death bed and her family gathered around her (God bless them; they were so understanding).

Finally, Mom was cleared to return to the nursing home (cancer-free, the shadow was NOT a mass, thank God) and I was finally able to decompress from all the ups and downs of the past couple of weeks ... Until ...

10/16:  I "accidentally" received an email from a member of our beloved NYC DS group that showed that one of the members with whom I felt most close was labeling me in a negative way.  This person was someone with whom I had let myself become very close -- in spite of the fact that I have often found women quick to betray friends ... especially when jealous or envious or for whatever reason they deemed reasonable at the time.  

Since I am writing this way after the fact and have moved on, let's just say my feelings were hurt by someone who should have had far more respect for our friendship -- and me as a human being, considering our relationship -- than to be so negative and hurtful (even when pretending to be sensitive) behind my back.

10/21: I turned 51 in an extremely uneventful way ... Just chilling and coming down from all the excitement and craziness of the previous few weeks and gearing up for the Lexington OH conference the following week. 

10/31:  So here we are at the end of an extremely eventful month.  I had the absolutely wonderful experience of attending the OH Lexington Conference and meeting members and post-ops who have been incredibly significant participants during my journey: Stalkerval, Tooter, Leilani, Dana Barr, Amy Williams, and so many others (including -- but not limited to -- Dee and Jane M and Charlie C and Dex and Becky Sue and Becky Bellamy and Vickie and Vicki and Kathy Mom of Many and so on and so on ...)  Below is a PhotoShow that is indicative of the fun we had.

The following have proven invaluable to me as both a post- and pre-op: