One Year Ago...

May 27, 2009

...today, around this time...I was starving, taking an emend anti-vomiting pill, and readying myself for surgery. I was amazingly calm and cavalier about it, and looking forward to the "relief" from the agony of insatiable hunger that a 10 day Pre-op liquid diet had left me. I was packing my bag; ipod? Check. Slippers? Check. I was taking a shower, and dressing into my XXL sweat pant capris and an XXL t-shirt from Torrid. I was completely, and unquestioningly READY to fix my broken life. 

One year ago today a miracle happened. The shackles of my former life were broken, and I was made free. I was given a new lease. I was given hope. I was given an invaluable gift, that I will not soon take for granted. One year ago, today, I was granted clemency from a certain and pre-mature death. I was picked out the droves of obese people and deemed "saveable" and offered a chance. I'm so glad I grabbed it with both hands. I'm so glad I didn't give up and fought the good fight. I'm so glad I embarked on this journey. I'm so grateful and thankful for it all.

Inventory:

May 27, 2008

Height: 5'8  Weight: (after pre-op liquid diet and a lot of exercise) 270 lbs. BMI: 41 Morbidly Obese

*Insomnia
*Hypertension
*Insulin Resistance
*Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea
*Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/ Infertility
*Chronic Back/Ankle/Joint pain
*Rashes
*Hated Shopping, Could never find clothes that fit.
*Hated eating out, Could never find a booth/chair that fit. Hated stares.
*Hated going to the movies, chairs uncomfortable
*Hated feeling self conscious during intimacy
*Hated the feeling that she'd be denied a ride on rides at amusement parks. Struggled with seat belts and harnesses.
*Hated riding in the back of cars or on benches where people would struggle to "make room" for me.
*Was never asked out or checked out (I know I'm married, but ain't it nice to be asked?)
*Couldn't perform any physically exerting tasks without extreme difficulty.
*Couldn't run after my son. Play. Or other such fun and jubilant activities.

May 27, 2009

Height: Still 5'8  Weight:153 lbs BMI: 23 NORMAL weight (God that feels good)

*Insomnia- GONE
*Hypertension- GONE
*Insulin Resistance- GONE
*Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea- GONE
*Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/ Infertility ??? (Not sure. Not trying to have babies)
*Chronic Back/Ankle/Joint pain- Mostly GONE
*Rashes- mostly GONE
*LOVE Shopping, ALWAYS find clothes that fit (Except at Lane Bryant and Torrid :) ).
*LOVE eating out (making healthy choices), CAN always find a booth/chair that fit. LOVE the stares ;) .
*LOVE going to the movies, chairs are very comfortable
*LOVE feeling self ASSURED during intimacy
*LOVE the feeling of the wind in my hair on rides at amusement parks. Struggle with seat belts and harnesses because they're too big.
*LOVE riding in the back of cars or on benches where people laugh at having to "make room" for me because I'm "small".
*AM always asked out or checked out (I know I'm married, but ain't it nice to be asked?)
*CAN perform any physically exerting tasks without extreme difficulty.
*CAN run after my son. Play. Or other such fun and jubilant activities.

In one fell swoop, my life changed forever. Everything I couldn't do/enjoy before, I do now with such zeal that the only regret I have is that I couldn't do it sooner. I regret having spent so much of my life in the shadows, bound an imprisoned, completely oblivious to a world I was missing out on.

One year ago today, I promised myself that I'd never allow this to happen to me again. And a year later, I am still, determined as ever, set on keeping this promise.

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