I have a date!

Apr 05, 2011

My date is April 22nd of 2011!  I am so excited and scared!  I guess my biggest fear is death which really doesn't matter because I am going through with it anyways.  I would really like to document my journey but I can be scatterbrained at times so lets say I am going to be as consistent as I can!  there are so many appointments, vitamins, and other misc stuff that needs to be done.  Everyone keeps saying how my head is too big to be skinny but I don't think I will ever be skinny.  I am a big woman underneath my extra loving even so we will see.  I really am looking forward to seeing all the changes that will be taking place.  I am prepared to move outside of my comfort zone.  This is an issue for me right now.  I stay tightly and safely put in my box in fear of what other people will say or what they think because I am fat as if I am less of a person because of it which is not true but I think it is something I have had to remind myself logically for I have been conditioned to feel so because of past hurts and cruel things that people have done and said about my weight.  I am really looking forward to hopefully not having to take insulin anymore!  So many things are swirling around in my head right now so I am going to leave it at this, Dear Lord Jesus!  Thank You for Your blessing!  I pray for safety in this surgery, hold me tight with you Lord and give the surgeon steady hands and a clear mind!  Keep me here on earth so I can do good things in your name!  In Jesus name I pray, Amen! 

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