April1013
9 Months Already?!
Mar 18, 2010
I cannot believe that I have not updated since my two week post op. Before surgery I was on OH religiously everyday! I definetly have been a busy girl. I got a new job in the new year and picked up a weekend job all while attempting to still have a social life. Doesn't leave me much time, but today for some reason I felt like I had to update because I am feeling so good.
I will be honest that I was pretty disgusted with my weight loss at first. It was not coming off as fast as I thought or liked. I knew that the weight loss wouldn't be easy but I sure as hell didn't think that it would be this hard! There were times where I wondered if my new stomach was even working! I was still feeling hungry, able to eat pretty large amounts of food and not losing. There would be weeks where I would eat perfectly and lose. And then weeks where I would be down a pound or two. I felt like I was putting "my all" into it and getting nothing in return. This lack of instant gratification lead me to cheat..eating like I used to, not exercsing, not drinking water. Looking back I am so ashamed that I wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself because I thought that my surgery was a failure. And honestly I stopped coming on OH because I hated looking at others peoples pages and seeing how much they had lost and in what time frame and I would compare myself to them and wonder why I couldn't be there. This phase lasted entirely to long for me but I am soooo happy to say that I have completely changed everything. I had to be very honest with myself. I don't think that people understand that mental struggles you go through when you have an eating problem. I HAVE AN EATING PROBLEM. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE AN EATING PROBLEM. For some reason I look to food for everything. Bad day, good day, bored, axious, excited. It all leads back to what I can put in my mouth for that temporary fix. What I had to learn is that the temporary "fix" I was getting was actually making me more unhappy in the long run. And what I thought was giving "my all" was really NOT. I can say with 100% honesty that now I am giving it my all. Everyday I am planning what I eat, cooking my meals, packing food to go, counting calories, getting my protein, making sure I drink my water, get my workout in, taking my supplements. Everyday now what I tell myself when I feel tempted is "Is it really worth it??" Is it worth the two hours spent in the gym everyday, is it worth the insane amount of money I know spend on healthy groceries? Is it worth getting a $32,000 surgery and having no results??? HELL NO. No food will EVER be worth it again to me. It truly changes your whole life when you decide to give in. And it is so hard. Somedays I think why did I have to be this overweight, why do I have so much weight to lose? But then I think of what a blessing having this surgery is. I could never imagine losing this much weight on my own. I will be honest and say that I probably wouldn't have the dicipline too. I am just so thankful for my "tool" and now that I am putting in the work, it is really starting to pay off.
I started out at 270..when I weighed myself a week ago I was 200 and I am pretty sure I have hit "onederland" but I only weigh myself once a week now so I have to wait a few more days to find out. I came from a size 20/22 to a size 14 and I just bought several pairs of 12 skirts and shorts for summer that I can button but are snug so my goal is to be in those by April. I came from a 44d to a 38C. I used to wear a 10/11 in shoes, not I can get into a 9 (I'm still trippin over that). I can see my collar bones, my arms are thin and toned looking (saggy when I shake though :( ) I can't believe the change in my facial structure. The other day a cashier asked me if it was really me on my licensce picture I was asked twice recently if I was a model..lol. My friends and family can't believe how I look..they are calling me skinny now! How crazy is that..me skinny?? LOL I never had a lack of confidence, I always dressed well and looked nice but now I feel like I don't even care how I appear on the outside because I feel so good on the inside. I used to not leave the house with makeup or nice clothes now, I live in my leggings and t-shirts and still feel sexy! I hardly wear revealing tops anymore. I actually own roundneck shirts which have never existed in my closet before! My life is so great. Everyday I am just so happy that I decided to do something to change my situation. It is the best decision I have ever made for myself and my only regret is I didn't do it sooner. In a few weeks I plan on going for a consultation for a tummy tuck to do this summer. I have 30 more pounds to go and I am feeling very confident by the time my one year roles around I will already be there. I definetly lost weight at a much slower pace than a lot of other people I know but I am so proud of myself! When I stopped comparing myself to what other people had done I started being happy with my own success. 70 pounds in 8 months is amazing! I look like a "normal" person. I don't feel like the fat girl anymore. I was always more than that but I guess it took losing the weight to really see it. I am so blessed, I really can't say it enough. It has definetly been a struggle but I feel like I have finally made it through the storm. My OH friends please keep me in your thoughts. I need encouragement and support and it means so much coming from those who understand. :)
2 comments
I will be honest that I was pretty disgusted with my weight loss at first. It was not coming off as fast as I thought or liked. I knew that the weight loss wouldn't be easy but I sure as hell didn't think that it would be this hard! There were times where I wondered if my new stomach was even working! I was still feeling hungry, able to eat pretty large amounts of food and not losing. There would be weeks where I would eat perfectly and lose. And then weeks where I would be down a pound or two. I felt like I was putting "my all" into it and getting nothing in return. This lack of instant gratification lead me to cheat..eating like I used to, not exercsing, not drinking water. Looking back I am so ashamed that I wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself because I thought that my surgery was a failure. And honestly I stopped coming on OH because I hated looking at others peoples pages and seeing how much they had lost and in what time frame and I would compare myself to them and wonder why I couldn't be there. This phase lasted entirely to long for me but I am soooo happy to say that I have completely changed everything. I had to be very honest with myself. I don't think that people understand that mental struggles you go through when you have an eating problem. I HAVE AN EATING PROBLEM. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE AN EATING PROBLEM. For some reason I look to food for everything. Bad day, good day, bored, axious, excited. It all leads back to what I can put in my mouth for that temporary fix. What I had to learn is that the temporary "fix" I was getting was actually making me more unhappy in the long run. And what I thought was giving "my all" was really NOT. I can say with 100% honesty that now I am giving it my all. Everyday I am planning what I eat, cooking my meals, packing food to go, counting calories, getting my protein, making sure I drink my water, get my workout in, taking my supplements. Everyday now what I tell myself when I feel tempted is "Is it really worth it??" Is it worth the two hours spent in the gym everyday, is it worth the insane amount of money I know spend on healthy groceries? Is it worth getting a $32,000 surgery and having no results??? HELL NO. No food will EVER be worth it again to me. It truly changes your whole life when you decide to give in. And it is so hard. Somedays I think why did I have to be this overweight, why do I have so much weight to lose? But then I think of what a blessing having this surgery is. I could never imagine losing this much weight on my own. I will be honest and say that I probably wouldn't have the dicipline too. I am just so thankful for my "tool" and now that I am putting in the work, it is really starting to pay off.
I started out at 270..when I weighed myself a week ago I was 200 and I am pretty sure I have hit "onederland" but I only weigh myself once a week now so I have to wait a few more days to find out. I came from a size 20/22 to a size 14 and I just bought several pairs of 12 skirts and shorts for summer that I can button but are snug so my goal is to be in those by April. I came from a 44d to a 38C. I used to wear a 10/11 in shoes, not I can get into a 9 (I'm still trippin over that). I can see my collar bones, my arms are thin and toned looking (saggy when I shake though :( ) I can't believe the change in my facial structure. The other day a cashier asked me if it was really me on my licensce picture I was asked twice recently if I was a model..lol. My friends and family can't believe how I look..they are calling me skinny now! How crazy is that..me skinny?? LOL I never had a lack of confidence, I always dressed well and looked nice but now I feel like I don't even care how I appear on the outside because I feel so good on the inside. I used to not leave the house with makeup or nice clothes now, I live in my leggings and t-shirts and still feel sexy! I hardly wear revealing tops anymore. I actually own roundneck shirts which have never existed in my closet before! My life is so great. Everyday I am just so happy that I decided to do something to change my situation. It is the best decision I have ever made for myself and my only regret is I didn't do it sooner. In a few weeks I plan on going for a consultation for a tummy tuck to do this summer. I have 30 more pounds to go and I am feeling very confident by the time my one year roles around I will already be there. I definetly lost weight at a much slower pace than a lot of other people I know but I am so proud of myself! When I stopped comparing myself to what other people had done I started being happy with my own success. 70 pounds in 8 months is amazing! I look like a "normal" person. I don't feel like the fat girl anymore. I was always more than that but I guess it took losing the weight to really see it. I am so blessed, I really can't say it enough. It has definetly been a struggle but I feel like I have finally made it through the storm. My OH friends please keep me in your thoughts. I need encouragement and support and it means so much coming from those who understand. :)
2 Week Post Op...Feeling Great!
Jul 15, 2009
Hey Everybody,
so I was two weeks out yesterday. Have to say that I am feeling wonderful, I cannot complain. I really can't believe that it has only been two weeks. Feels like it has been at least a month since surgery. I guess that means I feel like I have come a long way. The first week was filled with boredom. I felt like a caged animal in my house. It was so nice to have visitors but most of the time my days were filled with watching t.v. and I'm really not a t.v. watcher so I was going crazy. Everyday I looked forward to going for a walk...it was the highlight of my day. I couldn't walk far, or for a long time because I would get tired very easily. I think my energy level overall was a little bit low. They did tell me when I left Barix that my iron was a little low, so I think my fourth day home I went and got some iron pills and immedietly I could tell the difference after I started taking them.
I have been really good with writing down everything I eat. I am not going to lie. The first week all I thought about was food!! I think I was going through that "mourning period" where you just feel sorry for yourself because you can't eat. I was almost in tears on Sunday when my mom bbq'd for Fourth of July and I couldn't do anything but smell the food! It is so embarassing to think that not eating would actually make my cry...but I guess I just felt frustrated. The best advice I can give to newly post ops is KEEP YOURSELF BUSY! Don't sit around looking at t.v. and seeing all the yummy food commercials, you are just going to toture yourself. Also make sure you are getting in your shakes and most importantly your water because when you aren't feeling hungry, you won't think of food. Easier said than done I know! But this is where your will power needs to kick in! You went through all the work to get approved, went through the surgery, experienced the pain, the least you can do is treat your body right in the few weeks following surgery. I am also not going to lie when I say that I did experiment with some foods that I know I shouldn't have in that first week (potato salad, ers, cottage cheese) Lucky for me they went down without a problem but that is not the point. I shouldn't be putting that stuff in a stomach that is still healing. Cheating just makes you want the food you can't have more. So just don't do it.
I did have a scary experience last Thursday. I woke up at 9 and usually I go straight to the kitchen and take all my vitamins and make myself a shake. Well that day I was busy texting back and forth with a friend and also I was watching my 3 and 5 year old cousin and by the time I looked up it was 11 already. I was standing in the bathroom looking at my incisions and all of a sudden I felt nauseas like I was going to throw up! I thought maybe looking at my incisions was making me queezy and I thought it was weird because I am the type of person who watches surgeries on television for fun. I quickly realized that it was because I hadn't taken any of my morning pills or shake. I ran to the kitchen and I felt my head just spinning..I was seeing rings. I threw a bunch in the blender, blended it for 10 seconds and chugged it. I sat down and really thought I was about to slip away..but thank God I didn't. This will be the first and only time I wake up and neglect to take care of my morning needs. Not only do I need those nutrients, but I am also a diabetic, so not having them is extra dangerous for me.
So far after a week and a half I was down 10 pounds. I was getting a little frustrated because I was thinking..."I'm only drinking liquids!" "I'm cosuming a 1/4 of the calories I used to and I have only lost 10 pounds!" People kept telling me its only been a week, but I was ed! I thought it might have been the cheating I was doing, so I cut all that out, bu the scale wasn't really moving. We'll yesterday I woke up and had a cramp in my right leg. I only get cramps when my sugar level is really high. I checked it and it was 238!! It hadn't been that high since I was first diagnosed. Usually it is between 120 and 150. I had stopped taking my diabetes pills because they irritate my stomach and I just thought that it was under control especially since I was only eating sugar free things. So I took two pills. I checked a few hours later and my sugar was down to 111 (I don't think it has ever been that low!) So I was ecstatic! I am wondering now that my stomach is smaller and my intestines shorter, does my medicine take effect more quickly and with better results than before? So now I know why my weight loss was going so slow because it is very difficult to lose weight when you have high sugar. And sure enough I woke up this morning and had lost a pound and a half! Back on the losers bench again!
This past weekend was really busy for me. I had a wedding, a birthday party and a baby shower. I attended them all with so much energy. I surprised myself really. At the wedding they had a wonderful dinner and cake and other desserts, and I wasn't even bothered by it! People kept apologizing to me for eating in front of me, and I kept telling them that this is something that I am going to have to deal with. I can't hide from food or get mad at people for enjoying theirs. Soon enough I will be able to enjoy it myself.
The birthday party was at a bar and I had told my friends I was only going to go to the get-together at the house for a few hours. But I was feeling so good I went out to the bar. I didn't know how I would react to people drinking around me and me being the ONLY sober person. But I can honestly say I had the most fun I have had in a while. I danced for hours! My friends are like "you better not try and get low and bust a stitch!" Besides the cigarette smoke that bothered me, I felt great! I figure if I can't drink for at least 6 months, I'm not going to stop doing the things that I love to do. Yeah it changes my nights out with the s but it is all in your attitude. I had a great time, and I woke up the next day with no hangover, so I can't complain..LOL
Last update, I was told by Barix that if I felt I could, I could start puree after two weeks. Last night my mom made turkey roast and it looked so good I decided to have some. Cut a small piece and I chewed it to ! Had about 4 or 5 bites and I was full! Good to know my new stomach is working. It felt soooo good to feel that full feeling, because I never got that before surgery. It is also a good feeling knowing that I don't have to eat everything on my plate anymore, even if I wanted to, I have no desire to wipe it clean. I am learning every day how mental my eating problem was. And every day it gets easier and easier. I am so thankful for this surgery!!!
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so I was two weeks out yesterday. Have to say that I am feeling wonderful, I cannot complain. I really can't believe that it has only been two weeks. Feels like it has been at least a month since surgery. I guess that means I feel like I have come a long way. The first week was filled with boredom. I felt like a caged animal in my house. It was so nice to have visitors but most of the time my days were filled with watching t.v. and I'm really not a t.v. watcher so I was going crazy. Everyday I looked forward to going for a walk...it was the highlight of my day. I couldn't walk far, or for a long time because I would get tired very easily. I think my energy level overall was a little bit low. They did tell me when I left Barix that my iron was a little low, so I think my fourth day home I went and got some iron pills and immedietly I could tell the difference after I started taking them.
I have been really good with writing down everything I eat. I am not going to lie. The first week all I thought about was food!! I think I was going through that "mourning period" where you just feel sorry for yourself because you can't eat. I was almost in tears on Sunday when my mom bbq'd for Fourth of July and I couldn't do anything but smell the food! It is so embarassing to think that not eating would actually make my cry...but I guess I just felt frustrated. The best advice I can give to newly post ops is KEEP YOURSELF BUSY! Don't sit around looking at t.v. and seeing all the yummy food commercials, you are just going to toture yourself. Also make sure you are getting in your shakes and most importantly your water because when you aren't feeling hungry, you won't think of food. Easier said than done I know! But this is where your will power needs to kick in! You went through all the work to get approved, went through the surgery, experienced the pain, the least you can do is treat your body right in the few weeks following surgery. I am also not going to lie when I say that I did experiment with some foods that I know I shouldn't have in that first week (potato salad, ers, cottage cheese) Lucky for me they went down without a problem but that is not the point. I shouldn't be putting that stuff in a stomach that is still healing. Cheating just makes you want the food you can't have more. So just don't do it.
I did have a scary experience last Thursday. I woke up at 9 and usually I go straight to the kitchen and take all my vitamins and make myself a shake. Well that day I was busy texting back and forth with a friend and also I was watching my 3 and 5 year old cousin and by the time I looked up it was 11 already. I was standing in the bathroom looking at my incisions and all of a sudden I felt nauseas like I was going to throw up! I thought maybe looking at my incisions was making me queezy and I thought it was weird because I am the type of person who watches surgeries on television for fun. I quickly realized that it was because I hadn't taken any of my morning pills or shake. I ran to the kitchen and I felt my head just spinning..I was seeing rings. I threw a bunch in the blender, blended it for 10 seconds and chugged it. I sat down and really thought I was about to slip away..but thank God I didn't. This will be the first and only time I wake up and neglect to take care of my morning needs. Not only do I need those nutrients, but I am also a diabetic, so not having them is extra dangerous for me.
So far after a week and a half I was down 10 pounds. I was getting a little frustrated because I was thinking..."I'm only drinking liquids!" "I'm cosuming a 1/4 of the calories I used to and I have only lost 10 pounds!" People kept telling me its only been a week, but I was ed! I thought it might have been the cheating I was doing, so I cut all that out, bu the scale wasn't really moving. We'll yesterday I woke up and had a cramp in my right leg. I only get cramps when my sugar level is really high. I checked it and it was 238!! It hadn't been that high since I was first diagnosed. Usually it is between 120 and 150. I had stopped taking my diabetes pills because they irritate my stomach and I just thought that it was under control especially since I was only eating sugar free things. So I took two pills. I checked a few hours later and my sugar was down to 111 (I don't think it has ever been that low!) So I was ecstatic! I am wondering now that my stomach is smaller and my intestines shorter, does my medicine take effect more quickly and with better results than before? So now I know why my weight loss was going so slow because it is very difficult to lose weight when you have high sugar. And sure enough I woke up this morning and had lost a pound and a half! Back on the losers bench again!
This past weekend was really busy for me. I had a wedding, a birthday party and a baby shower. I attended them all with so much energy. I surprised myself really. At the wedding they had a wonderful dinner and cake and other desserts, and I wasn't even bothered by it! People kept apologizing to me for eating in front of me, and I kept telling them that this is something that I am going to have to deal with. I can't hide from food or get mad at people for enjoying theirs. Soon enough I will be able to enjoy it myself.
The birthday party was at a bar and I had told my friends I was only going to go to the get-together at the house for a few hours. But I was feeling so good I went out to the bar. I didn't know how I would react to people drinking around me and me being the ONLY sober person. But I can honestly say I had the most fun I have had in a while. I danced for hours! My friends are like "you better not try and get low and bust a stitch!" Besides the cigarette smoke that bothered me, I felt great! I figure if I can't drink for at least 6 months, I'm not going to stop doing the things that I love to do. Yeah it changes my nights out with the s but it is all in your attitude. I had a great time, and I woke up the next day with no hangover, so I can't complain..LOL
Last update, I was told by Barix that if I felt I could, I could start puree after two weeks. Last night my mom made turkey roast and it looked so good I decided to have some. Cut a small piece and I chewed it to ! Had about 4 or 5 bites and I was full! Good to know my new stomach is working. It felt soooo good to feel that full feeling, because I never got that before surgery. It is also a good feeling knowing that I don't have to eat everything on my plate anymore, even if I wanted to, I have no desire to wipe it clean. I am learning every day how mental my eating problem was. And every day it gets easier and easier. I am so thankful for this surgery!!!
6/30/09....The Start of My New Life!
Jul 03, 2009
We'll I had my surgery on Tuesday, June 30! For those of you who don't read my blogs I will recap for you. I was not put on a diet pre surgery but I did have to do all clear liquids two days before. I consumed INSANE amounts of water those two days because 1. It helps with the hunger and 2. Because you can easily become dehydrated after surgery so the more water in your body the better.
I had to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am. The entire 30 minute car ride I used my Respirex breathing tube in the car. (And if you are going into surgery make sure you use it! They make you do it every 2 hours at the hospital so get used to it!) It also helped me with my nerves, because at this point, the realization that I was actually having surgery finally had kicked in. When I arrived at the hospital they emmedietly took me to sign the consent forms. I got my hospital bracelet and they told me how everything was going to go for the day. My parents took all my belongings and I headed upstairs to be prepped. When I got upstairs my nurse (Astor) had me take all my clothing off and change into the gown and cap. It is at that point that if you have to go to the bathroom go now! You will not have another chance to go because you will be all hooked up.
After I was changed I went and layed on my bed. He went over those same series of questions they did a pre-op just to make sure all the anwsers you gave are correct. (This part does get a little blurry for me because I was really nervous and anxious so I'm not sure if it is in the correct order, but I do remember everything that happened) I was given some type of liquid to drink..which I think was to calm the acids in my stomach. It was horrible...salty with a grape aftertaste. I was hooked up to my IV and there was water being pumped into me. I was given a blood thinning shot in my side, and they also took my blood sugar (I am type 2 diabetic) and also took blood for a pregnancy test. They would only allow one person at at time to come and see you. My mother came first and while she was there surgeon stopped by asked if I was ready and if I had any questions, and then he prayed with my mom and I. Next came the anesthesiologist. She asked me if I had any history of surgery or anesthesia, and just went over what type they were going to give me, but at that point I wasn't really listening, I was just ready to go! My mom left and my dad came in. My mom had taken my glasses with her when she left and I was glad because my dad seemed nervous and if I I could have seen his face I probably would have cried. We only had a few mintues to talk and then they told me they were ready for me. My dad left and I remember that was the moment I felt like "what am I doing to myself??" "Is this really worth it??" "what if I don't wake up????" A few tears fell from my eyes and my nurse said he was going to give me something to relax me. I saw him push it into my IV and I sudddenly felt warm all over and that is the last thing I remember.
I woke up to the sounds of nurses talking. I could barely open my eyes and I couldn't speak my mouth was very dry. They asked me what my pain was on a scale of 1-10 and I said 6 or 7. I motioned for the nurse to move my gurney up because I believe I was laying flat. I was told I would be in recovery for 45 min to an hour, and I think I had already been there an hour because they kept me a little longer because my blood sugar had skyrockted to 225 (It was 180 before surgery and it is usually around 150) They gave me an insulin shot and put the c-pap on me. I think about 10 minutes later they began rolling me to my room. Once I got there my nurse came in and introduced herself and told me she had to hook me up and then my parents could come up. She was a little older, and it took her a while to get me hooked up and I was getting frustrated because I really wanted to see my parents. I also was starting to feel a little nauseas so she put something in my IV which started working instantly. So about 30 minutes later they finally came up. I don't remember much but they did say that the surgeon told them that everything went perfectly. They made a few calls to my friends and family to let them know I was fine, and I kept on dozing in and out. They didn't stay long because they wanted me to sleep. The nurse also told them to take all my stuff home because I wouldn't need it. I had brought tons of comfy clothes, soap, toothpaste, and all the neccessities, but Barix provided all that for me which was really nice. I wore a gown everyday and they gave me socks too.
I was hooked up to a morphine pump that I could press every 5 minutes. I didn't press it that often that first day. They asked me my pain and I said a 5. I looked at my incisions and I was surprised to see 6! I was a little upset at first because I was told I would have 4 of 5, but then I realized how tiny they were! They looked like little scratches. As the day progressed I felt better and better. They gave me ice-chips right away which made me so happy because other OH members have said they weren't allowed any water or ice until the second day. They said I could have a ice piece every 30 minutes, but I cheated! LOL I probably had 3 or 4 every 30 min, but your mouth is so dry you really need it. I had no pain in my stomach, and no gas. By the eveing my pain level was at a 2. 4 hours after surgery they got me up to walk, which was slightly painful and I was going at a snails pace, but it felt good to get up because my back was killing me! And it was hard at first to get comfortable in the bed. My roomate, Sinnamon was one day ahead of me. Once I was able to keep my eyes open later in the day we began talking and she was saying she felt great the first day and then the second day is when she started to have a reaction to the morphine so they had to give her benadryl, and she also had really bad nauses.
Every two hours the respritory therapist (or terrorist as we called them) would come in for you to use the Respirex they have given you pre-op and another pump they give you that you just blow in to. I was so weak I could barely get the disk to move. They also have you cough a few times after, which is slightly painful, but it is so important to do to make sure your lungs are clear. There were so many people coming in and out of my room that it got confusing on who was actually my nurse. Shift changes then happen and you have a whole new set of people, but they were all nice. For the rest of day 1 I felt good. No gas pains, I just burrped and hiccuped a lot. I got up and walked a few more times, and basically slept. I felt good enough to call and text a few of my friends but I don't remember any of the conversations I had..lol.
Day 2, I woke up and felt great. I got up at 4 am, and pretty much all the patients were up. My roomate and I both got up and walked. I got to talk to a few people in the hallway. I would ask them how they were feeling and everyone said not good, in a lot of pain. So when I said "I feel great!" , they just looked at me with a confused face, like how is that possible?? LOL. One of the ladies I talked to said she had surgery the day before and was planning on leaving today. That kindda shocked me because I thought you were required to stay 2 nights, but I guess it varies from doctor to doctor. But my advice to you. If you can stay 2 nights, do it! I know some peoples insurance doesn't pay for those nights, but I think it would be worth the money, because so much can go wrong is a day. It really isn't worth riskig your health.
My surgeon popped in on me for 30 seconds that morning and just asked me how I felt and told me that they were going to be giving me x-rays today and if there were no leaks they would start me on liquids. They took my cathader out before my x-rays. I went down and they took 5 x-rays. Then the specialist left and came back and said she had to take another one so I was a little worried they might have seen a leak. I asked her the results and she said the surgeon gives the results....now I was feeling VERY nervous. I went back to my room and waited over 2 hours before I asked a nurse if they got my results and she was like "oh yeah, they didn't tell you? Eveyrthing is fine" Wow, how do you just not tell people their results? But oh well, I let it go because I was so happy to get a popcicle! It tasted great. Went down with no problem and I actually asked for another one but only ate half. Two hours later they brought me a tray or food. A cup of chicken broath, 4 slices of jello, a small glass of crystal light and a popcicle. I ate the chicken broath, two pieces of jello and half of the crystal light. Went down fine, but I felt lazy and pretty much slept and didn't walk as much as I should have. The first day they will get you up to walk, but after that you are kindda on your own. Also some point in the second day they took me off the morphine and gave my hydrocodine in liquid form which still works, but made me nauseas the first few times and made me dry heave once. My pain level was at a 1 all day, I felt great, I was talking to my roomate, calling my friends, and I had 2 friends and my parents visit me and they couldn't believe how good I looked! I was telling everyone I would be out tomorrow by noon! I also got a new roomate that day. She was in a lot of pain and having bad gas bubbles and nausea. Her pain level was around a 8 or 9 the entire first day, compared to me which was a 7 at the highest and a 2 at the lowest. It just shows that everyone is different when it comes to this surgery. Towards late evening of the second day I started to get some gas pains. My nurse suggested an anal suppository to help get things moving. When she did it I noticed that it went in with such ease, and I even asked her "is it in?" We'll turns out, she didn't put the suppository in the right hole (you know what I mean) and so I woke up in the morning with a very uncomfortable feeling in my girly parts....not happy!
Day 3 I woke up with a bad pain in my stomach. I thought I just had to use the bathroom but that didn't help. I went walking, and walking actually hurt for the first time. I did 4 laps and went back to lay down. I went back to sleep for a few hours and I woke up with with even worse pain. So now I finally knew what gas bubbles felt like. They are not fun! Very painful and it is frustrating because it isn't easy to get it out. My nurse told me not to try and squueze the gas out because I could pop a stitch or even make myself pass out. I was allowed to take a shower, and that felt so good! Especially on my back. I probably was in there for 25 minutes. My parents arrived at noon and I was feeling horrible. My nurse suggested an enema, which I really was not happy about but that pain was getting worse and walking was not helping at all. The enema was made of milk and molasses (it smelled good..lol) They put it in and told me to try and hold it in for 5 minutes. I made it to about 4 and a half and ran to the bathroom. It did relieve some of the gas pressure, but not all of it. Stupidly afterwards I went back and layed down when I should have started walking to try and get more out. My nurse told me that it could take a few hours for the enema to really work. At this point I knew I wasn't ready to leave so I sent my parents home. As soon as they left I developed a fever. I found out that I was suppose to get an antacid pill and blood thinner shot every day which I had not been given, and I was a little upset because that might have been the reason I was in so much pain. I fell back asleep and when I woke up a few hours later I went to the restroom and was able to get a lot of gas out and I emmedietly felt better. I got up and did about 5 laps and I was feelling so much better. I called my nurse and in and told him "I'm ready to go!" At this point I had had enough of Barix and I wanted to go home. Called my parents and told them to come back at 5:30. They arrived on time, and I called the nurse so he could discharge me and that took an hour. They went over the do's and don't, gave me my two week apt, time and I was out of there!
Car ride home wasn't bad. I put a pillow around my stomach and strapped in. You definetly feel every bump but it's not that bad. Got home and my parents had everything set up for me. It is so important to have someone who can help you out for the first day or two at home. You don't want to overdue it, and you will need help. I had half a bowl of jello and a little crytal light. I actually was able to sleep in my own bed the first night home. I had about 6 pillows propping me up but I was very comfortable. I got up once during the night to use the bathroom and I was able to settle back into bed on my own.
The next morning I woke up at 7:30, took my viatmin, my antacid pill and the liquid protein (which is the worst thing I have EVER tasted, but it is suppose to be good in healing your stomach after surgery and Dr. Schram highly recommends it) I made some crytal light and tried to continously sip all day, but it is hard, because I am used to taking big gulps and you can't do that. By mid day I was hungry!! Just because your stomach is small doesn't mean your cravings go away. And it doesn't help when the rest of your family is still eating normally. So make sure you kitchen is stocked with all of the foods you can eat! Sugar free fudgcicles are my new best friend. I got 6 flavors of sugar free pudding, all the ingredients for tasty protein shakes ( I made a chocolate peanut butter shake that was great) and cottage cheese, which I don't think Im allowed to eat yet but I chewed it up pretty good and it went down with no problem. After I had all that dairy, I did have about 6 bowel movements, so be prepared to have to get up and go a lot. And I don't know if it is just me, but I never know when I have to go after the surgery, So every 30 minutes I just get up and go. I was having a few weird cramps throughout the day but they last for maybe 10 second and go away. I got up and walked every hour and I use both of my breathing tools 4 times a day. I was getting super bored watching tv and was dying to get on the computer so I had to go downstairs which suprisingly wasn't a problem, just take one step at a time and go slow! I was able to lay on the couch without being propped up and I was comfortable. I was VERY gassy all day. But just make sure you get it out...you feel so much better when you do. I had friends over in the evening and they were so suprised that I was "normal" . Besides the fact that I move a little slower, no one would know that I had major surgery four days ago.
So today is Saturday. I woke up feeling great. Got out of bed with no belly pain. Took my vitamin, antacid, and protein. Made a big 32 oz jug of crystal light lemondae and it is much easier to drink today. I can take bigger sips and not feel the rumbling in my stomach. I plan on walking through the neighborhood this morning with my friend.
Every day it is going to be better and better. I feel so blessed that I have really gone through this with very little pain so far. I am SOOO glad that I did it! That was actually one of my first thoughts after they wheeled me in my room the first day. I felt like I took the hugest step in improving my life, and now I can do anything! I'm only 5 days out and I'm feeling great, I can't complain. I am just so excited for what the future is going to bring. Unfortunetly my scale decided to break on me, so I don't know how much I have lost yet. I did gain ten pounds water weight due to the IV in the hospital but that is normal. I feel lighter and I feel energized. I have not taken a nap since I have been home. My advice to you is keep busy!...Don't think about food just contiune to drink your water and protein. Surround yourself with family and friends and most importantly make sure you are following your doctors orders. Your diet is set up to help your body heal, so do it right! :)
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I had to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am. The entire 30 minute car ride I used my Respirex breathing tube in the car. (And if you are going into surgery make sure you use it! They make you do it every 2 hours at the hospital so get used to it!) It also helped me with my nerves, because at this point, the realization that I was actually having surgery finally had kicked in. When I arrived at the hospital they emmedietly took me to sign the consent forms. I got my hospital bracelet and they told me how everything was going to go for the day. My parents took all my belongings and I headed upstairs to be prepped. When I got upstairs my nurse (Astor) had me take all my clothing off and change into the gown and cap. It is at that point that if you have to go to the bathroom go now! You will not have another chance to go because you will be all hooked up.
After I was changed I went and layed on my bed. He went over those same series of questions they did a pre-op just to make sure all the anwsers you gave are correct. (This part does get a little blurry for me because I was really nervous and anxious so I'm not sure if it is in the correct order, but I do remember everything that happened) I was given some type of liquid to drink..which I think was to calm the acids in my stomach. It was horrible...salty with a grape aftertaste. I was hooked up to my IV and there was water being pumped into me. I was given a blood thinning shot in my side, and they also took my blood sugar (I am type 2 diabetic) and also took blood for a pregnancy test. They would only allow one person at at time to come and see you. My mother came first and while she was there surgeon stopped by asked if I was ready and if I had any questions, and then he prayed with my mom and I. Next came the anesthesiologist. She asked me if I had any history of surgery or anesthesia, and just went over what type they were going to give me, but at that point I wasn't really listening, I was just ready to go! My mom left and my dad came in. My mom had taken my glasses with her when she left and I was glad because my dad seemed nervous and if I I could have seen his face I probably would have cried. We only had a few mintues to talk and then they told me they were ready for me. My dad left and I remember that was the moment I felt like "what am I doing to myself??" "Is this really worth it??" "what if I don't wake up????" A few tears fell from my eyes and my nurse said he was going to give me something to relax me. I saw him push it into my IV and I sudddenly felt warm all over and that is the last thing I remember.
I woke up to the sounds of nurses talking. I could barely open my eyes and I couldn't speak my mouth was very dry. They asked me what my pain was on a scale of 1-10 and I said 6 or 7. I motioned for the nurse to move my gurney up because I believe I was laying flat. I was told I would be in recovery for 45 min to an hour, and I think I had already been there an hour because they kept me a little longer because my blood sugar had skyrockted to 225 (It was 180 before surgery and it is usually around 150) They gave me an insulin shot and put the c-pap on me. I think about 10 minutes later they began rolling me to my room. Once I got there my nurse came in and introduced herself and told me she had to hook me up and then my parents could come up. She was a little older, and it took her a while to get me hooked up and I was getting frustrated because I really wanted to see my parents. I also was starting to feel a little nauseas so she put something in my IV which started working instantly. So about 30 minutes later they finally came up. I don't remember much but they did say that the surgeon told them that everything went perfectly. They made a few calls to my friends and family to let them know I was fine, and I kept on dozing in and out. They didn't stay long because they wanted me to sleep. The nurse also told them to take all my stuff home because I wouldn't need it. I had brought tons of comfy clothes, soap, toothpaste, and all the neccessities, but Barix provided all that for me which was really nice. I wore a gown everyday and they gave me socks too.
I was hooked up to a morphine pump that I could press every 5 minutes. I didn't press it that often that first day. They asked me my pain and I said a 5. I looked at my incisions and I was surprised to see 6! I was a little upset at first because I was told I would have 4 of 5, but then I realized how tiny they were! They looked like little scratches. As the day progressed I felt better and better. They gave me ice-chips right away which made me so happy because other OH members have said they weren't allowed any water or ice until the second day. They said I could have a ice piece every 30 minutes, but I cheated! LOL I probably had 3 or 4 every 30 min, but your mouth is so dry you really need it. I had no pain in my stomach, and no gas. By the eveing my pain level was at a 2. 4 hours after surgery they got me up to walk, which was slightly painful and I was going at a snails pace, but it felt good to get up because my back was killing me! And it was hard at first to get comfortable in the bed. My roomate, Sinnamon was one day ahead of me. Once I was able to keep my eyes open later in the day we began talking and she was saying she felt great the first day and then the second day is when she started to have a reaction to the morphine so they had to give her benadryl, and she also had really bad nauses.
Every two hours the respritory therapist (or terrorist as we called them) would come in for you to use the Respirex they have given you pre-op and another pump they give you that you just blow in to. I was so weak I could barely get the disk to move. They also have you cough a few times after, which is slightly painful, but it is so important to do to make sure your lungs are clear. There were so many people coming in and out of my room that it got confusing on who was actually my nurse. Shift changes then happen and you have a whole new set of people, but they were all nice. For the rest of day 1 I felt good. No gas pains, I just burrped and hiccuped a lot. I got up and walked a few more times, and basically slept. I felt good enough to call and text a few of my friends but I don't remember any of the conversations I had..lol.
Day 2, I woke up and felt great. I got up at 4 am, and pretty much all the patients were up. My roomate and I both got up and walked. I got to talk to a few people in the hallway. I would ask them how they were feeling and everyone said not good, in a lot of pain. So when I said "I feel great!" , they just looked at me with a confused face, like how is that possible?? LOL. One of the ladies I talked to said she had surgery the day before and was planning on leaving today. That kindda shocked me because I thought you were required to stay 2 nights, but I guess it varies from doctor to doctor. But my advice to you. If you can stay 2 nights, do it! I know some peoples insurance doesn't pay for those nights, but I think it would be worth the money, because so much can go wrong is a day. It really isn't worth riskig your health.
My surgeon popped in on me for 30 seconds that morning and just asked me how I felt and told me that they were going to be giving me x-rays today and if there were no leaks they would start me on liquids. They took my cathader out before my x-rays. I went down and they took 5 x-rays. Then the specialist left and came back and said she had to take another one so I was a little worried they might have seen a leak. I asked her the results and she said the surgeon gives the results....now I was feeling VERY nervous. I went back to my room and waited over 2 hours before I asked a nurse if they got my results and she was like "oh yeah, they didn't tell you? Eveyrthing is fine" Wow, how do you just not tell people their results? But oh well, I let it go because I was so happy to get a popcicle! It tasted great. Went down with no problem and I actually asked for another one but only ate half. Two hours later they brought me a tray or food. A cup of chicken broath, 4 slices of jello, a small glass of crystal light and a popcicle. I ate the chicken broath, two pieces of jello and half of the crystal light. Went down fine, but I felt lazy and pretty much slept and didn't walk as much as I should have. The first day they will get you up to walk, but after that you are kindda on your own. Also some point in the second day they took me off the morphine and gave my hydrocodine in liquid form which still works, but made me nauseas the first few times and made me dry heave once. My pain level was at a 1 all day, I felt great, I was talking to my roomate, calling my friends, and I had 2 friends and my parents visit me and they couldn't believe how good I looked! I was telling everyone I would be out tomorrow by noon! I also got a new roomate that day. She was in a lot of pain and having bad gas bubbles and nausea. Her pain level was around a 8 or 9 the entire first day, compared to me which was a 7 at the highest and a 2 at the lowest. It just shows that everyone is different when it comes to this surgery. Towards late evening of the second day I started to get some gas pains. My nurse suggested an anal suppository to help get things moving. When she did it I noticed that it went in with such ease, and I even asked her "is it in?" We'll turns out, she didn't put the suppository in the right hole (you know what I mean) and so I woke up in the morning with a very uncomfortable feeling in my girly parts....not happy!
Day 3 I woke up with a bad pain in my stomach. I thought I just had to use the bathroom but that didn't help. I went walking, and walking actually hurt for the first time. I did 4 laps and went back to lay down. I went back to sleep for a few hours and I woke up with with even worse pain. So now I finally knew what gas bubbles felt like. They are not fun! Very painful and it is frustrating because it isn't easy to get it out. My nurse told me not to try and squueze the gas out because I could pop a stitch or even make myself pass out. I was allowed to take a shower, and that felt so good! Especially on my back. I probably was in there for 25 minutes. My parents arrived at noon and I was feeling horrible. My nurse suggested an enema, which I really was not happy about but that pain was getting worse and walking was not helping at all. The enema was made of milk and molasses (it smelled good..lol) They put it in and told me to try and hold it in for 5 minutes. I made it to about 4 and a half and ran to the bathroom. It did relieve some of the gas pressure, but not all of it. Stupidly afterwards I went back and layed down when I should have started walking to try and get more out. My nurse told me that it could take a few hours for the enema to really work. At this point I knew I wasn't ready to leave so I sent my parents home. As soon as they left I developed a fever. I found out that I was suppose to get an antacid pill and blood thinner shot every day which I had not been given, and I was a little upset because that might have been the reason I was in so much pain. I fell back asleep and when I woke up a few hours later I went to the restroom and was able to get a lot of gas out and I emmedietly felt better. I got up and did about 5 laps and I was feelling so much better. I called my nurse and in and told him "I'm ready to go!" At this point I had had enough of Barix and I wanted to go home. Called my parents and told them to come back at 5:30. They arrived on time, and I called the nurse so he could discharge me and that took an hour. They went over the do's and don't, gave me my two week apt, time and I was out of there!
Car ride home wasn't bad. I put a pillow around my stomach and strapped in. You definetly feel every bump but it's not that bad. Got home and my parents had everything set up for me. It is so important to have someone who can help you out for the first day or two at home. You don't want to overdue it, and you will need help. I had half a bowl of jello and a little crytal light. I actually was able to sleep in my own bed the first night home. I had about 6 pillows propping me up but I was very comfortable. I got up once during the night to use the bathroom and I was able to settle back into bed on my own.
The next morning I woke up at 7:30, took my viatmin, my antacid pill and the liquid protein (which is the worst thing I have EVER tasted, but it is suppose to be good in healing your stomach after surgery and Dr. Schram highly recommends it) I made some crytal light and tried to continously sip all day, but it is hard, because I am used to taking big gulps and you can't do that. By mid day I was hungry!! Just because your stomach is small doesn't mean your cravings go away. And it doesn't help when the rest of your family is still eating normally. So make sure you kitchen is stocked with all of the foods you can eat! Sugar free fudgcicles are my new best friend. I got 6 flavors of sugar free pudding, all the ingredients for tasty protein shakes ( I made a chocolate peanut butter shake that was great) and cottage cheese, which I don't think Im allowed to eat yet but I chewed it up pretty good and it went down with no problem. After I had all that dairy, I did have about 6 bowel movements, so be prepared to have to get up and go a lot. And I don't know if it is just me, but I never know when I have to go after the surgery, So every 30 minutes I just get up and go. I was having a few weird cramps throughout the day but they last for maybe 10 second and go away. I got up and walked every hour and I use both of my breathing tools 4 times a day. I was getting super bored watching tv and was dying to get on the computer so I had to go downstairs which suprisingly wasn't a problem, just take one step at a time and go slow! I was able to lay on the couch without being propped up and I was comfortable. I was VERY gassy all day. But just make sure you get it out...you feel so much better when you do. I had friends over in the evening and they were so suprised that I was "normal" . Besides the fact that I move a little slower, no one would know that I had major surgery four days ago.
So today is Saturday. I woke up feeling great. Got out of bed with no belly pain. Took my vitamin, antacid, and protein. Made a big 32 oz jug of crystal light lemondae and it is much easier to drink today. I can take bigger sips and not feel the rumbling in my stomach. I plan on walking through the neighborhood this morning with my friend.
Every day it is going to be better and better. I feel so blessed that I have really gone through this with very little pain so far. I am SOOO glad that I did it! That was actually one of my first thoughts after they wheeled me in my room the first day. I felt like I took the hugest step in improving my life, and now I can do anything! I'm only 5 days out and I'm feeling great, I can't complain. I am just so excited for what the future is going to bring. Unfortunetly my scale decided to break on me, so I don't know how much I have lost yet. I did gain ten pounds water weight due to the IV in the hospital but that is normal. I feel lighter and I feel energized. I have not taken a nap since I have been home. My advice to you is keep busy!...Don't think about food just contiune to drink your water and protein. Surround yourself with family and friends and most importantly make sure you are following your doctors orders. Your diet is set up to help your body heal, so do it right! :)
The Madness Has Begun...
Jun 23, 2009
So today I am exactly one week until surgery! I no longer feel excited, now I am just anxious to get it over with! I was hoping that I could make it to surgery without the worry kicking it, but I have not been so lucky. Now I am starting to think about the anesthesia, the pain after surgery, what if I have to stay extra nights, what will the scars be like, what is something goes wrong?? I don't let myself think about these things for long. I like to stay positive, but these thoughts are seeping into my mind and I hate it!
Barix called today and I missed the call and they didn't leave a message. Called back not even 30 seconds later and a lady told me that they had called about my payment. I got scared for a minute because I thought she was going to say it went up. But she said that it still is the $200. And I told her I already paid it.....silence on her end. "Oh ok well sometimes we just call to let you know that it hasn't changed....silence on my end. I'm thinking to myself she doesn't know what the fuck she is talkig about and I wish she would put on the lady that actually called me. We'll I find out later that they called to give me the time I have to be at the clinic on the 30th! I am frustrated with Barix. Are the summer months a busier time for them, because I really feel like I haven't been receiving the great service and attention that I was getting in previous months. I just really can't stand for incompetence, and I feel like Barix has been fucking up lately....
If it wasn't apparent before that I am an emotional eater, it definitely is now because I have been a human vacuum the past week! As I said, I was NOT given a pre-op diet, and I wish to God that I had been given one. When I am told what to do, I can stick to it, but right now I'm feeling like it's a free-for-all. And it doesn't help that everyone keeps saying "You better eat up, you won't be able to have that anymore!" And the fucked up part is that I know that's not necessarily true! There will be a day when I will be able to enjoy my favorite foods again in moderation. But yet I went to McDonald's 4 times last week, and I HATE McDonald's!!! Why am I doing this to myself?? I had plans to do my protein shakes and six small meals and work out every night until the day of my surgery, but I haven't done any of that. I am a little worried. I don't know what is going on with me.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but before this past week had absolutely no fear about the surgery. The only thing that concerned me was what I was going to look like after I have lost the weight? Would I look like Star Jones and have my head look bigger than my body? Would I get too skinny? Would I have so much sagging skin that I would just look like a skinny girl with a big belly? And to make matters worse, last night I was up until 4 am on You-Tube looking at videos of gastric bypass patients and their loose skin. This completely horrified me. I am just so scared of losing all the weight and still not being happy with my body. It makes me angry that I let myself get to this point. That I have been fat for all these years and I'm going to carry the scars (emotional and physical) for the rest of my life. I need to stop focusing on the future and start taking things day by day. I am worrying about something that is months and months away. I feel stupid for worrying. I am getting my Masters in counseling, you would think I would be more in tune with my own feelings! I think that tomorrow I have to get my head clear. Get my meals right, go to the gym. I can't keep on saying "OK, I will start Monday" I don't have anymore Mondays!!! I have used that excuse up...I'm tired of using it. I wish that my brain would start cooperating with me.
I am really in need of some support and encouraging words because this week is going to be a struggle for me. One week! I ready to get this done! I want start my journey. Am I ready? I don't know, but I have to be...
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Barix called today and I missed the call and they didn't leave a message. Called back not even 30 seconds later and a lady told me that they had called about my payment. I got scared for a minute because I thought she was going to say it went up. But she said that it still is the $200. And I told her I already paid it.....silence on her end. "Oh ok well sometimes we just call to let you know that it hasn't changed....silence on my end. I'm thinking to myself she doesn't know what the fuck she is talkig about and I wish she would put on the lady that actually called me. We'll I find out later that they called to give me the time I have to be at the clinic on the 30th! I am frustrated with Barix. Are the summer months a busier time for them, because I really feel like I haven't been receiving the great service and attention that I was getting in previous months. I just really can't stand for incompetence, and I feel like Barix has been fucking up lately....
If it wasn't apparent before that I am an emotional eater, it definitely is now because I have been a human vacuum the past week! As I said, I was NOT given a pre-op diet, and I wish to God that I had been given one. When I am told what to do, I can stick to it, but right now I'm feeling like it's a free-for-all. And it doesn't help that everyone keeps saying "You better eat up, you won't be able to have that anymore!" And the fucked up part is that I know that's not necessarily true! There will be a day when I will be able to enjoy my favorite foods again in moderation. But yet I went to McDonald's 4 times last week, and I HATE McDonald's!!! Why am I doing this to myself?? I had plans to do my protein shakes and six small meals and work out every night until the day of my surgery, but I haven't done any of that. I am a little worried. I don't know what is going on with me.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but before this past week had absolutely no fear about the surgery. The only thing that concerned me was what I was going to look like after I have lost the weight? Would I look like Star Jones and have my head look bigger than my body? Would I get too skinny? Would I have so much sagging skin that I would just look like a skinny girl with a big belly? And to make matters worse, last night I was up until 4 am on You-Tube looking at videos of gastric bypass patients and their loose skin. This completely horrified me. I am just so scared of losing all the weight and still not being happy with my body. It makes me angry that I let myself get to this point. That I have been fat for all these years and I'm going to carry the scars (emotional and physical) for the rest of my life. I need to stop focusing on the future and start taking things day by day. I am worrying about something that is months and months away. I feel stupid for worrying. I am getting my Masters in counseling, you would think I would be more in tune with my own feelings! I think that tomorrow I have to get my head clear. Get my meals right, go to the gym. I can't keep on saying "OK, I will start Monday" I don't have anymore Mondays!!! I have used that excuse up...I'm tired of using it. I wish that my brain would start cooperating with me.
I am really in need of some support and encouraging words because this week is going to be a struggle for me. One week! I ready to get this done! I want start my journey. Am I ready? I don't know, but I have to be...
Pre-Admission Testing
Jun 16, 2009
So I went to Barix today for my PAT'S. It was at 8:15 and I arrived on time but I forgot that everyone always gets to Barix early because they put you in the order that you sign up. I guess for some reason I thought I was going to be the only one doing testing at that time, but there were about 15 other people. I was surprised that there were more men there than women. I guess the surgery is really catching on. So they didn't call me up til about 8:45, I met with some lady who took my payment. (Which was only $200..God is Good!!) I signed a few papers and then she sent me back to the lobby. I waited another 30 mintues or so until the nurse called me in. She ATTEMPTED to find a vain (which is very hard on me) but couldn't so she had to take 5 viles of blood from my hand!! After that they took me to another room where a nurse asked me a million question. (Sometimes I wonder the point of filling out all of this paper work, when they ask you the same questions over and over again)
After that I went to get a ultra-sound of my gallbladder and I was scared to do becuase for the past few week I have been having pains on my side, and my mom thought it might be my gallbladder. But the technician said everything looked fine so I was relieved! Then I went and got a chest x-ray. Went back to my original room and the nurse had to finish the million questions she started asking before. Then the respitory therapist came in. She did the EKG, which was a breeze. I guess I was expecting some kind of electric shock or something. lol. After that she said they were going to take some blood and I was like "damn't, again!" lol. But then she said they had to check it for my oxygen levels but they were going to take it from an artery in my wrist! All I was thinkin was "this shit is gonna hurt!! " And I was so right. And what I love is that there were two nurses in my room and I guess one was still in "training" and the main nurse was like "would you like to get the blood" and in my head I'm thinking "hell no! Gauranteed she is not going to find it and just poke the shit out of me" And sure enough, I was right. Getting blood drawn from you artery is no joke! Especially when they hit nerves trying to find it, it is a really bad burning sensation. So "nurse in training" couldn't find it, so the other nurse came over and got it on the first try. (I'm always the guinea pig!)
So after that I was suppose to meet with my surgeon, but I guess he was busy because his assistant came in to go over my file. I was VERY dissapointed. I know Dr. Schram is a busy man, but one of the main reasons I came to Barix is because I wanted a more personalized feel during the whole process. So I won't be seeing my surgeon until surgery day, which kindda makes me angry. So his assitant asked me all the questions the nurse asked me at the beggining, she told me all my x-rays were good, and my gallbladder was fine. She asked me if I had any questions and then she was out! But she popped her head back in a few minutes later and asked me if I was anemic. I told her no, and she said the iron looked a little low in my blood and she would let me know if they wanted me to start taking medicine for it. But they never told me I did so I guess I not anemic enough...
They sent me back out into the lobby and I waited to be called in for the group meeting with the nurtionist. First they went over what to expect on surgery day, visitors, pain, after care etc. Then the nutritionist went over the food plans. I felt very proud of myself because everything she said I knew. I have done so much research on my own I feel like a weight loss surgery pro! The only thing she went over that I didn't know about what was the label reading. I always look at labels when I shop but I never knew that when you are looking at the sugar content look at the first 5 ingredients of it and if it doesn't contain any form of high fructose corn syrup or other high sugar content, then it is ok to eat! So she made us do an exercise where we each had our own food and we had to say if we could eat it or not. So after the class we were done!
There were four other women in the room with me. I overhead one say that her surgery was the same day as mine. I asked one girl on the way out when her surgery was and tried to start up a little conversation but she wasn't really havin it. I have noticed that many pre-op patients are reluctant to talk about the surgery. I have encountered so many people who have only told a few select people. (I have told the world! All my fam, friends, co workers, church people.)...But overall today was a good day. Hospital staff was very friendly. But I have to say I was kind of suprised at the lack of organization there was. The whole thing took four hours instead of three like I was told, and I didn't even get to see my surgeon :( Hopefully the care I recieve after surgery will make up for the things that went wrong today.
OOOHHHH, and how could I forget??!! NO DIET! The nutritionist said that we should just be eating smaller, healthier meals. I was excited at first, but then I thought maybe having a diet would have been better for me, so I would be more likely to stick to it. But I am going to make an good effort to eat healthy in the two weeks leading up to my surgery. I am even more excited ! Now I know there is nothing stranding in my way, I am all set to go. JUNE 30TH!!!!!!!
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After that I went to get a ultra-sound of my gallbladder and I was scared to do becuase for the past few week I have been having pains on my side, and my mom thought it might be my gallbladder. But the technician said everything looked fine so I was relieved! Then I went and got a chest x-ray. Went back to my original room and the nurse had to finish the million questions she started asking before. Then the respitory therapist came in. She did the EKG, which was a breeze. I guess I was expecting some kind of electric shock or something. lol. After that she said they were going to take some blood and I was like "damn't, again!" lol. But then she said they had to check it for my oxygen levels but they were going to take it from an artery in my wrist! All I was thinkin was "this shit is gonna hurt!! " And I was so right. And what I love is that there were two nurses in my room and I guess one was still in "training" and the main nurse was like "would you like to get the blood" and in my head I'm thinking "hell no! Gauranteed she is not going to find it and just poke the shit out of me" And sure enough, I was right. Getting blood drawn from you artery is no joke! Especially when they hit nerves trying to find it, it is a really bad burning sensation. So "nurse in training" couldn't find it, so the other nurse came over and got it on the first try. (I'm always the guinea pig!)
So after that I was suppose to meet with my surgeon, but I guess he was busy because his assistant came in to go over my file. I was VERY dissapointed. I know Dr. Schram is a busy man, but one of the main reasons I came to Barix is because I wanted a more personalized feel during the whole process. So I won't be seeing my surgeon until surgery day, which kindda makes me angry. So his assitant asked me all the questions the nurse asked me at the beggining, she told me all my x-rays were good, and my gallbladder was fine. She asked me if I had any questions and then she was out! But she popped her head back in a few minutes later and asked me if I was anemic. I told her no, and she said the iron looked a little low in my blood and she would let me know if they wanted me to start taking medicine for it. But they never told me I did so I guess I not anemic enough...
They sent me back out into the lobby and I waited to be called in for the group meeting with the nurtionist. First they went over what to expect on surgery day, visitors, pain, after care etc. Then the nutritionist went over the food plans. I felt very proud of myself because everything she said I knew. I have done so much research on my own I feel like a weight loss surgery pro! The only thing she went over that I didn't know about what was the label reading. I always look at labels when I shop but I never knew that when you are looking at the sugar content look at the first 5 ingredients of it and if it doesn't contain any form of high fructose corn syrup or other high sugar content, then it is ok to eat! So she made us do an exercise where we each had our own food and we had to say if we could eat it or not. So after the class we were done!
There were four other women in the room with me. I overhead one say that her surgery was the same day as mine. I asked one girl on the way out when her surgery was and tried to start up a little conversation but she wasn't really havin it. I have noticed that many pre-op patients are reluctant to talk about the surgery. I have encountered so many people who have only told a few select people. (I have told the world! All my fam, friends, co workers, church people.)...But overall today was a good day. Hospital staff was very friendly. But I have to say I was kind of suprised at the lack of organization there was. The whole thing took four hours instead of three like I was told, and I didn't even get to see my surgeon :( Hopefully the care I recieve after surgery will make up for the things that went wrong today.
OOOHHHH, and how could I forget??!! NO DIET! The nutritionist said that we should just be eating smaller, healthier meals. I was excited at first, but then I thought maybe having a diet would have been better for me, so I would be more likely to stick to it. But I am going to make an good effort to eat healthy in the two weeks leading up to my surgery. I am even more excited ! Now I know there is nothing stranding in my way, I am all set to go. JUNE 30TH!!!!!!!
Fat Girl Angry Moment PT.2
Jun 09, 2009
So I have had the most eventful two weeks I have had in a long time. It seems like the closer I get to surgery, the more bullshit comes up in my life! I guess it's too much to ask to just be drama free, and go into surgery with a clear head....AHHH! Oh well, what can you do. I guess I just have to blog and make myself feel better!
So here's the deal. I made the conscious decision back in February when I started the whole weight loss surgery process that I was not going to bother with men anymore. We'll let me be clear! lol. I mean I was not going to try to talk to any guy or meet any guy, I was going to focus on me and my surgery! Now this is very hard for me because I can't tell you the last time I was truly single. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I was at least talking to 2 guys (somtimes when I did have a b/f...oops). And what I know about myself is that I tend to get too wrapped up in the relationship and I forget about other things that need priority in my life. I knew that I wanted to make surgery my #1 priority, so therefore I knew I was gonna have to let go of the men. And it seemed like perfect timing because I just got out of a long distance relationship. I will be honest, I did not think that it was going to last long. LOL...but I completely suprised myself and everyone around me when I sorrta became "obsessed" with surgery and a man was the last thing on my mind. So for 4 whole months, I did not take any numbers, give out my number, call any of the old flames or exes and didn't return their calls if they called. Not only did this break help me focus on getting all I needed for my insurance approval, mentally, it changed my life. Not to sound all dramatic, but for a girl (and I know there are a lot of girls like this) who sometimes determine their happiness on the guy in their life, seeing that I was HAPPY and doing well all my myself was crazy! I became closer to my friends and family and I really got to see what people used to tell me was "my problem". I get too involved with guys, and I really saw that was true. Looking back I don't think I could EVER go back to being that way. Not only was it not healthy for me, but I really think back like "Damn, why would any guy want to have dated me, I was crazy"!
So out of the blue, one day in May, I got a Facebook message from a guy that attends my college and he said he wanted to get to know me. He gave me his screen name, and we talked a few days later. Our first few conversations were horrible, he bored me. He's a nerd, into technology and video games and shit like that, and I'm not...LOL But he was so persistant and so sweet that I kept talking to him and we went on a date. Decided I didn't like him after the date, but I went on another one. And slowly after each time I saw him I liked him more. Now I told him from the jump, that I was not looking for anything serious! That I have a one-track mind on my surgery and I don't want any drama, and he agreed to that....
So two months down the road we are casually dating. Dinner, pool, movies, u know the regular! Last week he tells me that his parents offered to send him to school out of state and get him an apartment while he gets his Masters. This is what he has been wanting, yet he doesn't sound excited about it. I ask him what's wrong and he said, "We'll if I leave, I won't be able to see you..." My first reaction was "SO"! I told him that I would visit him, but regardless of that, we aren't dating and it's not that serious, why would you stay for me?? So this conversation suddently takes an awful turn and now he is asking me where do I see this relationship going and what do I want from him? UMMM did we suddently switch roles and he became the bitch?? I told him that he knew what I wanted when we met so I don't know why he is asking me all of this. This led to an hour long conversation about "us" that I never really wanted to have! I like him, but not like that. During the course of this conversation he tells me that he is afraid that once I get skinny I am going to find someone better. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know how to take it. Is he saying that he's not good enough for me now and once I get skinny I will realize that or is he saying that when I get skinny I will decide he's not good enough for me and I will want a more attractive, more accomplished guy?? I let his comment slide, because I didn't want to have a converstaion about that with him period. I see him as a friend. And he can remain my friend after surgery, gauranteed. But it just blew my mind that he was so concerned about this and I haven't even had the surgery yet! He was already assuming that weight loss surgery is going to change me and that bothered me.
I'm not going to lie. When I finally do reach my weight loss goal, it's going to be like college all over again. I am going to want to date around and have fun! There is going to be a wide range of men that were never attracted to me before and I am going to enjoy that. But having surgery isn't going to change my morals, and the concern I have for other people's feelings. Unfortunetly I have not had much luck in finding "the one" while I have been fat. But if I was with someone before surgery, the last thing on my mind would be, "when can I get rid of him for someone better".
Remeber the shoe "The Swan"?? It was when they took very unnatractive women and gave them hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery over a couple months time and then they did a big reveal to their spouses and family at the end. The majority of these women were married and had children. I remember there were a lot of women who were on the show that later got divorced, I believe one was on Oprah talking about it. I always wondered what lead to the divorce. Was the husband jelous of his new wife? Did he feel out of place, and not good enough for her anymore? Or was it her? Did she enjoy the looks from other men now? Did she feel like she deserved better now that she looked better? It's hard to say. Probably a combination of many things.
We'll I don't consider myself a swan. The new smaller, skinner me is still going to be the same April, same heart and same mind. If the relationships I have with people change, it won't be on my end.
1 comment
So here's the deal. I made the conscious decision back in February when I started the whole weight loss surgery process that I was not going to bother with men anymore. We'll let me be clear! lol. I mean I was not going to try to talk to any guy or meet any guy, I was going to focus on me and my surgery! Now this is very hard for me because I can't tell you the last time I was truly single. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I was at least talking to 2 guys (somtimes when I did have a b/f...oops). And what I know about myself is that I tend to get too wrapped up in the relationship and I forget about other things that need priority in my life. I knew that I wanted to make surgery my #1 priority, so therefore I knew I was gonna have to let go of the men. And it seemed like perfect timing because I just got out of a long distance relationship. I will be honest, I did not think that it was going to last long. LOL...but I completely suprised myself and everyone around me when I sorrta became "obsessed" with surgery and a man was the last thing on my mind. So for 4 whole months, I did not take any numbers, give out my number, call any of the old flames or exes and didn't return their calls if they called. Not only did this break help me focus on getting all I needed for my insurance approval, mentally, it changed my life. Not to sound all dramatic, but for a girl (and I know there are a lot of girls like this) who sometimes determine their happiness on the guy in their life, seeing that I was HAPPY and doing well all my myself was crazy! I became closer to my friends and family and I really got to see what people used to tell me was "my problem". I get too involved with guys, and I really saw that was true. Looking back I don't think I could EVER go back to being that way. Not only was it not healthy for me, but I really think back like "Damn, why would any guy want to have dated me, I was crazy"!
So out of the blue, one day in May, I got a Facebook message from a guy that attends my college and he said he wanted to get to know me. He gave me his screen name, and we talked a few days later. Our first few conversations were horrible, he bored me. He's a nerd, into technology and video games and shit like that, and I'm not...LOL But he was so persistant and so sweet that I kept talking to him and we went on a date. Decided I didn't like him after the date, but I went on another one. And slowly after each time I saw him I liked him more. Now I told him from the jump, that I was not looking for anything serious! That I have a one-track mind on my surgery and I don't want any drama, and he agreed to that....
So two months down the road we are casually dating. Dinner, pool, movies, u know the regular! Last week he tells me that his parents offered to send him to school out of state and get him an apartment while he gets his Masters. This is what he has been wanting, yet he doesn't sound excited about it. I ask him what's wrong and he said, "We'll if I leave, I won't be able to see you..." My first reaction was "SO"! I told him that I would visit him, but regardless of that, we aren't dating and it's not that serious, why would you stay for me?? So this conversation suddently takes an awful turn and now he is asking me where do I see this relationship going and what do I want from him? UMMM did we suddently switch roles and he became the bitch?? I told him that he knew what I wanted when we met so I don't know why he is asking me all of this. This led to an hour long conversation about "us" that I never really wanted to have! I like him, but not like that. During the course of this conversation he tells me that he is afraid that once I get skinny I am going to find someone better. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know how to take it. Is he saying that he's not good enough for me now and once I get skinny I will realize that or is he saying that when I get skinny I will decide he's not good enough for me and I will want a more attractive, more accomplished guy?? I let his comment slide, because I didn't want to have a converstaion about that with him period. I see him as a friend. And he can remain my friend after surgery, gauranteed. But it just blew my mind that he was so concerned about this and I haven't even had the surgery yet! He was already assuming that weight loss surgery is going to change me and that bothered me.
I'm not going to lie. When I finally do reach my weight loss goal, it's going to be like college all over again. I am going to want to date around and have fun! There is going to be a wide range of men that were never attracted to me before and I am going to enjoy that. But having surgery isn't going to change my morals, and the concern I have for other people's feelings. Unfortunetly I have not had much luck in finding "the one" while I have been fat. But if I was with someone before surgery, the last thing on my mind would be, "when can I get rid of him for someone better".
Remeber the shoe "The Swan"?? It was when they took very unnatractive women and gave them hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery over a couple months time and then they did a big reveal to their spouses and family at the end. The majority of these women were married and had children. I remember there were a lot of women who were on the show that later got divorced, I believe one was on Oprah talking about it. I always wondered what lead to the divorce. Was the husband jelous of his new wife? Did he feel out of place, and not good enough for her anymore? Or was it her? Did she enjoy the looks from other men now? Did she feel like she deserved better now that she looked better? It's hard to say. Probably a combination of many things.
We'll I don't consider myself a swan. The new smaller, skinner me is still going to be the same April, same heart and same mind. If the relationships I have with people change, it won't be on my end.
Fat Girl Angry Moment...
May 25, 2009
So I have read a lot of blogs and talked to a lot of people who have had the surgery and said that they get angry about the way people treat them now that they are smaller. I really feel for these people, especially when it is your family and closest friends who are doing it to you. It makes me so thankful for my friends and family because I KNOW they love and accept me for me as I am now. Every person who really matters to me has been so supportive of the surgery. Even some of my closest friends who were against it at first for the risk, and the fact that they thought I didn't need it, have become my biggest supporters.
And though I don't for-see being treated any differently by friends and family, stranger on the other hand are my concern..specifically men.
Last Thursday night I went out with my best girl friend and 5 other friends who are all guys. I have known these guys for years, and they are good people. We are all having fun, drinking and dancing and my girl friend is off talking to a guy so I am just hanging with all the guys. I guess they consider me, just "one of the guys" because they were talking about girls bodies and commenting on girls that walked by. I mean I not naive on how men think. But to hear it come out of the mouths of men that I respect and consider "good guys" was a little disconcerting. I was especially offended when one of them told me "all I'm looking for is a girl with a nice ass and brains". Though it seems like an innocent comment I really took offense to it because I feel like what if exactly what your looking for isn't in the package that you want it?? I guess I took it even more personally because him and I have always had this cute flirtatious relationship. We have a lot of the same interest and can talk for hours, but it has never progressed further than that. And I'm wondering if its' because of the body that I'am in, that is stopping him from pursuing me more.
So as the night continued I went to the dance floor with my closest guy friend (who has a g/f) And we are both just dancing and having fun. And I'm noticing the girls that he is dancing with are.....hmmm, how can I say this nicely...just ugly. Not cute, not dressed cute, but they all have one thing in common....the BOOTY! I swear to God a nice ass will do terrible things to a man! And my friend is all over these girls like they were the best thing ever! And I hate to sound conceited but I just think it's fucked up that these ugly girls are getting more attention than I am, and I'm prettier!!! Like, it really makes me angry! Especially when I am drinking, I just get so disgusted. And what set me off that night, was the fact that it was MY FRIENDS that were disgusting me. I know they are men, but I just hold them to a higher esteem.
So I got so angry that I just had to leave the club and I told them that I would wait for everyone at the car. And as I am walking out there is a huge group of guys standing by the entrance (as it is about 20 minutes to close), and as I'm walking by they are calling out to me, "hey baby", "can I go with you" and all sorts of stupid shit, and I literally could have burst into tears at that moment. So the entire night at the club, no one approached me, no one bought me a drink or started up a conversation with me, but when it's time to leave, you want to try and talk to me?? I guess the fat girl is only good for things that happen in the dark. It just makes me sick! So I'm walking to the car and I get in and just bawl my eyes out. And I call one of my other best friends and I'm just yelling how that when I get skinny I'm gonna do this and that, and I'm going to never talk to these people anymore and I'm gonna be the shit and then I'm gonna play all the guys like they do me...and she was like "April, these are not reasons you should want to be skinny...." And she was right, but at that moment I really understood what people say in these blogs about feelings of anger. I haven't even experienced it yet because I haven't had surgery, but I can already tell that it is going to be an issue for me. I understand and respect that not every man is into a plus size women,but damn't I 'm a good person! I'm smart and funny and caring, and it sucks that they won't even bother to find that out until my outsides match my insides.
Those feelings that night really scared me, and I was really just ashamed of myself for letting strangers get to me like that. But I'm realizing that this is going to become more of a reality as Iose weight. I hope that I can learn to accept that people are going to react differently to me, and not become angry about it, but I don't know if I will be able to. I recognize the fact that I might need to see a counselor, and I am not ashamed of that. Only time will tell how things will be for me. I am so excited for the surgery and I can't wait. And it's crazy because I have no fear about the surgery itself. My only fear is about how the surgery might change me and my personality. As much as I try to hide it, I am unhappy with myself. No amount of nice clothes or makeup or men that hit on you can validate a person. I need to learn to be happy with me.....and I'm hoping that the surgery will help me with this.
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And though I don't for-see being treated any differently by friends and family, stranger on the other hand are my concern..specifically men.
Last Thursday night I went out with my best girl friend and 5 other friends who are all guys. I have known these guys for years, and they are good people. We are all having fun, drinking and dancing and my girl friend is off talking to a guy so I am just hanging with all the guys. I guess they consider me, just "one of the guys" because they were talking about girls bodies and commenting on girls that walked by. I mean I not naive on how men think. But to hear it come out of the mouths of men that I respect and consider "good guys" was a little disconcerting. I was especially offended when one of them told me "all I'm looking for is a girl with a nice ass and brains". Though it seems like an innocent comment I really took offense to it because I feel like what if exactly what your looking for isn't in the package that you want it?? I guess I took it even more personally because him and I have always had this cute flirtatious relationship. We have a lot of the same interest and can talk for hours, but it has never progressed further than that. And I'm wondering if its' because of the body that I'am in, that is stopping him from pursuing me more.
So as the night continued I went to the dance floor with my closest guy friend (who has a g/f) And we are both just dancing and having fun. And I'm noticing the girls that he is dancing with are.....hmmm, how can I say this nicely...just ugly. Not cute, not dressed cute, but they all have one thing in common....the BOOTY! I swear to God a nice ass will do terrible things to a man! And my friend is all over these girls like they were the best thing ever! And I hate to sound conceited but I just think it's fucked up that these ugly girls are getting more attention than I am, and I'm prettier!!! Like, it really makes me angry! Especially when I am drinking, I just get so disgusted. And what set me off that night, was the fact that it was MY FRIENDS that were disgusting me. I know they are men, but I just hold them to a higher esteem.
So I got so angry that I just had to leave the club and I told them that I would wait for everyone at the car. And as I am walking out there is a huge group of guys standing by the entrance (as it is about 20 minutes to close), and as I'm walking by they are calling out to me, "hey baby", "can I go with you" and all sorts of stupid shit, and I literally could have burst into tears at that moment. So the entire night at the club, no one approached me, no one bought me a drink or started up a conversation with me, but when it's time to leave, you want to try and talk to me?? I guess the fat girl is only good for things that happen in the dark. It just makes me sick! So I'm walking to the car and I get in and just bawl my eyes out. And I call one of my other best friends and I'm just yelling how that when I get skinny I'm gonna do this and that, and I'm going to never talk to these people anymore and I'm gonna be the shit and then I'm gonna play all the guys like they do me...and she was like "April, these are not reasons you should want to be skinny...." And she was right, but at that moment I really understood what people say in these blogs about feelings of anger. I haven't even experienced it yet because I haven't had surgery, but I can already tell that it is going to be an issue for me. I understand and respect that not every man is into a plus size women,but damn't I 'm a good person! I'm smart and funny and caring, and it sucks that they won't even bother to find that out until my outsides match my insides.
Those feelings that night really scared me, and I was really just ashamed of myself for letting strangers get to me like that. But I'm realizing that this is going to become more of a reality as Iose weight. I hope that I can learn to accept that people are going to react differently to me, and not become angry about it, but I don't know if I will be able to. I recognize the fact that I might need to see a counselor, and I am not ashamed of that. Only time will tell how things will be for me. I am so excited for the surgery and I can't wait. And it's crazy because I have no fear about the surgery itself. My only fear is about how the surgery might change me and my personality. As much as I try to hide it, I am unhappy with myself. No amount of nice clothes or makeup or men that hit on you can validate a person. I need to learn to be happy with me.....and I'm hoping that the surgery will help me with this.
APPPROVED, APPROVED, APPROVED!!!!
May 04, 2009
YOU GUESSED IT IM APPROVED!! IM SO EXCITED I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS! I FAXED BARIX CLINIC ALL MY REQUIRED MATERIALS AT 1 P.M. ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND I CALLED TODAY JUST TO ASK IF THEY HAD RECIEVED IT,BECAUSE I DID NOT GET A CALL SAYING THEY HAD. AND SHE SAID "WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU, YOU APPROVED" I SCREAMED "WHAT? THAT WAS SO FAST!" I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, I IMMEDIATELY BROKE INTO TEARS! SO SHE SAID THE SURGEON HAS TO REVIEW MY INFO AND THEN THEY WILL CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW ABOUT MY BENEFITS AND WHAT IS COVERED AND SET UP A DATE! I FEEL SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT YEARS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS AND IT HAS ONLY TAKEN ME 3 MONTHS. ALL THE HEADACHE, HEARTACHE AND MONEY THAT THIS APPROVAL HAS COST ME HAS BEEN WORTH EVERY BIT. MY LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE COMPLETLY AND I CANNOT WAIT TO BE A HEALTHY, HAPPY AND OF COURSE SKINNY! ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE SO HAPPY AND SUPPORTIVE OF ME. WHAT A GREAT DAY!!! 
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God is Making a Way!
Apr 27, 2009
Well I had a surprisingly wonderful day today. I went to pick up the letter of recommendation from my doctor today after waiting 2 months for her to write it. I had high hopes that it would be good but in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't going to be, just because she has fought me so much over the idea of surgery. When I opened it up to read it I immediately noticed that it was only two sentences! She wrote:
1. That she had been treating me since August,
2. I have shown her documentation that I have been dieting the past 4 years and
3. She thinks I'm a good candidate for surgery
And they wrote my birth date wrong too! I was so upset. I have given this women copies of EVERYTHING...food journals, diet history, family history, and TWO copies of the sample letter provided by my surgeon and she gives me a two sentence letter??. I immediately went back into the office and spoke to the receptionist and it turns out the doctor didn't even write it herself, she just signed it. So I told her that I needed included in the letter my family medical history, the fact that I have DIABETES and SLEEP APNEA and also numbness in my feet. She said she would have it ready for me tomorrow, but later called back and said Wednesday. Well a few hours later I get a message on my cell from Barix saying they needed to talk to me about my insurance, and I was so worried! I had read in the paper a few weeks ago that Blue Cross was changing their coverage for Bariatric surgery so I was thinking the worst. We'll I called them back and they said that just this morning, my insurance changed their requirements for surgery and you no longer have to have a letter from your doctor or the 6 months of consecutive diet! I almost cried!! All the time and money I wasted on these visits to my unhelpful doctor and I don't need it. This letter has been consuming my life for the past 2 1/2 months and now its obsolete! I really feel now that this surgery is MEANT TO BE! God is making a way for me and I couldn't be happier. So I will be submitting everything to Barix tomorrow and it should only be a few weeks until my APPROVAL! I'm claiming it already!
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1. That she had been treating me since August,
2. I have shown her documentation that I have been dieting the past 4 years and
3. She thinks I'm a good candidate for surgery
And they wrote my birth date wrong too! I was so upset. I have given this women copies of EVERYTHING...food journals, diet history, family history, and TWO copies of the sample letter provided by my surgeon and she gives me a two sentence letter??. I immediately went back into the office and spoke to the receptionist and it turns out the doctor didn't even write it herself, she just signed it. So I told her that I needed included in the letter my family medical history, the fact that I have DIABETES and SLEEP APNEA and also numbness in my feet. She said she would have it ready for me tomorrow, but later called back and said Wednesday. Well a few hours later I get a message on my cell from Barix saying they needed to talk to me about my insurance, and I was so worried! I had read in the paper a few weeks ago that Blue Cross was changing their coverage for Bariatric surgery so I was thinking the worst. We'll I called them back and they said that just this morning, my insurance changed their requirements for surgery and you no longer have to have a letter from your doctor or the 6 months of consecutive diet! I almost cried!! All the time and money I wasted on these visits to my unhelpful doctor and I don't need it. This letter has been consuming my life for the past 2 1/2 months and now its obsolete! I really feel now that this surgery is MEANT TO BE! God is making a way for me and I couldn't be happier. So I will be submitting everything to Barix tomorrow and it should only be a few weeks until my APPROVAL! I'm claiming it already!
60 Times An Hour!!
Mar 10, 2009
I went for a sleep study two weeks ago, and just got the results....I stopped breathing 60 times an hour!!! That is SOOO crazy to me. I was thinking I didn't even have sleep apnea and I was mad I went to the study becasue it was so horrible and I only slept a few hours I didn't think it was enough to get an accurate reading. I was actually EXCITED when I got this news! Why?? We'll I guess because it is yet another cormorbitity that I can add to my list, which just improves my chances of getting approved for surgery. I started tearing up as she was telling me..( I really want this surgery, ok!) The nurse also told me that my oxygen level before the study was at 99%, but during the study it dropped to 92%, but she said that it was good that it was above 90%. So I don't know what that means in terms of treatment, but I have to go back for a second study next week and sleep with the mask on. That really sucks, because the first time was so completely horrible I swore that I would never go back again! But I told her to schedule me in ASAP..lol. The quicker I do this, the sooner I can get my machine, which I think Dr. Schram is going to require me to have before surgery. I am also happy about this diagnosis because it is another thing I can tell my PCP doctor about because she wasn't very gung-ho about me getting the surgery. The CPAP machine will help, but WEIGHT LOSS is what I really need to make my sleep apnea go away. The restless night of sleep, goey shit that ripped my hair out, headache and backache I had in the morning was SO WORTH IT! Everything is moving right along...Just praying and staying positive :)
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About Me
West Bloomfield, MI
Location
40.8
BMI
Surgery
06/30/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 03, 2009
Member Since
