So many changes in really a little bit of time.  I mean time is really relative in the scheme of things, right? When you focus on this or that instead of the other, you can lose track of where you are.  I think I've done that a bit.  I thought I'd not be able to slide back into pre-surgery habits and I see that I was laboring under some kind of delusion.  Now I find myself taking stock of where I am and preparing to get back on track.

Bread--a lifelong pleasure really has no place in my diet.  Just today I got the image of bread as a hypnotizer. You eat it (in whatever form) and you become oblivious to your body.  I've decided it put me in a spell so that I do not notice what I am eating, or not eating. I snapped to recently and I see that I need to let it go in order to take the reins of my weight loss firmly in my hands. So, without wanting to be dramatic I plan to begin letting it go.  By bread--we've had so many good years together. But now I must give my heart to a healthier way of being in the world. I'm not growing (in the right direction) with you, so for now, let us part ways amicably. No tempting me with delicious sandwiches, or pizza. In fact, I'm toying with the idea of giving up most grains, too.  Of course, this will take more planning, thought and effort.  I don't want to overwhelm myself with change, especially when I still have a lot of change going on in others areas of my life.

If there are any folks out there grappling witih this area of your healthy lifestyle plan, let me know how you do it. I can use all the help I can get!  Meanwhile...

 

 As my life has seemed in flux, I have not thought much about writing a blog update. Having just made a cross-country move, I can now start the process of settling down in new surroundings and navigating the lifestyle terrain that my weight loss surgery has necessitated. 

This last month (on both sides of the move) have interrupted the little routine I had going with food preparation and eating but I have managed to negotiate the process with some deftness. Perhaps in another month or two I will be fully settled in and back in the flow of things. 

I'm writing this blog mostly because I took a couple of snapshots of myself yesterday and thought wow--I've come a way from the painful, unhappy self I was. I thought maybe I deserved to acknowledge how far I have come through this process so far. Since I have lost over 70 pounds, I have begun to reclaim my health. I can stand and walk with more ease (before I couldn't do either over 1 minute--max), I have reduced prescription medications from 11 to 3, I have more energy, and I feel better about myself. These are great stepping stones for me. 

So, as I continue to acclimate to my surroundings and this new lifestyle (food, nutrition, exercise), I will give myself a little pat on the shoulder and acknowledge what it's taken for me to get here. As I do, with deep gratitude I'll continue to share. 

Well, I could've written sooner but seems like I have not had the time to dedicate to the blog. Finally, I have broken through my stall which lasted about 6 weeks and have begun to lose again. Whew! It was tough-going for a minute.

Of late, I am having trouble eating. (Solve one issue, here comes a new one!) Don't feel I have much of an appetite, though there are moments I feel really hungry. Food is not so appealing and the old standbys are not appealing lately. I'm assuming that this, too, shall pass, but in the meantime, I'll just note it in writing.

Now stepping up my exercise quotient is a priority. I have never liked it -- still don't -- and despite rare moments when I have and felt really good, when starting anew it's not so easy to drum up the motivation to get going now. Happy am I that I can stand and walk for longer periods than before my total weight loss, it's almost as if someone was pulling me back (like you cannot get on that treadmill, bike, etc.). I'd appreciate any advice from those who have had to conquer the inertia, procrastination, lack of motivation, and etc., about getting started.

OH has put together a survey on issues surrounding childhood obesity. I have taken the survey and would like to ask you to take a few minutes to provide your input.

I also hope that you will consider sharing this link on your OH blog and any other social media (Facebook, Twitter, other sites, etc.) that you use.  This is such an important topic to all of us, so please take a few minutes and take the survey so that we can count your voice.  Go here:  http://bit.ly/dygwy3

Starting to freak...weight at a standstill! Well, I'm trying not to panic but I am post-op since June 16, and since July 7 I have been holding at the same weight, (in fact, even going up and down one or two pounds).  Others have told me it's the body's reaction to the shock of losing weight so fast (I lost 25 pounds the first 3 weeks before stalling, and 20 pounds before surgery), and I understand that. But now, though I'm not that focused on the scale, I am feeling nervous because it seems SOMETHING should be happening. Even a teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy something, right? I'm eating according to Dr.'s orders and beginning to incorporate light exercise (I previously couldn't do any), and just can't fathom why nothing is happening.

I posted this in the Q&A and received some encouraging responses. I'm not overly concerned (at least, not consciously), but there is this gnawing little feeling that maybe somehow I'm doing it 'wrong' and / or it's not going to work for me.  It doesn't help that I'm a little stressed with life matters, and I'm sure that compounds the feeling. 

It's just that I got so much relief when I lost my initial weight pre and post surgery. I felt like long smothered energy came rushing back, having been freed from the prison of hopelessness it had been life-sentenced to. Too, I also felt lighter in my body. I felt I didn't have to drag around so much weight.  My body had become tired, struggling to cope with the new pain, and overwhelmed by the excess. Having lost 45 pounds it is so grateful--as am I. But now--funny--it feels like its settling down at this new place, and feeling a bit cumbersome and heavy again.

This is quite a process. As I've said elsewhere, WLS is definitely not for sissies. But I'm grateful for the privilege of being able to go this route.  Despite all the seeming ups and downs I am learning anew.  I am learning about food, about my body, how things work, etc., and it is wonderful. From here on out I think my relationship with food will not be so unconscious and I will have learned how to get a handle on things (read my life). I know this shall pass and this will be a memory one day. For now--arrrrgh! Just help me make it through this stall! 

 I haven't written in this blog for sometime now. But now I"m six weeks out of surgery and it's been a little thrill ride already. By that I mean the dumping (because I was not following instructions), the nausea, the lack of appetite, and of recent the lack of energy (in a period of medication readjustment right now).  On the other hand, I have gotten some of my energy back already and this feels great!

Before surgery I lost 20 pounds (from my top weight of 308) without even trying. I have now decided it is because I was drinking apple cider vinegar every day. It had just become a routine (begun when a health person told me to try it). I was still eating pizza, and fast food, but I had become strangely drawn to the cider vinegar -- I would often just drink the tablespoon of it without putting in water -- and routinely imbibed every day for about two months before surgery. Like I said, I wasn't trying to lose weight.  I haven't had any since the surgery but I'm just waiting to get back to it.

Since the surgery I lost 25 pounds.  That was amazing.  I am now back to the weight I had 3 years ago (AZ photo). But from here on down is when I'll really think I'm doing something.  I seem to have stalled for about 3 weeks now.  NO weight lost. But others have suggested it is because my body is in a kind of shock to such rapid weight loss and I will pick up again soon. I hope they're right. Meanwhile, I am gradually getting more active. Before I couldn't walk or stand more than a minute (need a driving cart to get around the grocery store), but having lost 45 pounds has really given me the ability to stand and walk longer. This GREAT!  Now mind you, I can't stand a whole lot longer, or walk that far, but wowza--signs of good things to come, I hope.  I have to step up the movement.  

Well, that's my latest update. It's such a learning process but I am so grateful to be in the class.

 Just entered the 8th day of my post-op experience. The only issue I'm having at this time is food hallucinations.   When I see food (on TV mostly), it makes me feel crazy!  I'm not feeling hungry, as such, but I gotta wonder if the 14 more days I have to experience on liquids only is gonna find me sane, or babbling incoherently.  

Otherwise, I feel fine, have already lost 12 pounds and looking forward to more mobility (having been limited to moving around because of the excess weight). I'll work on keeping up to date and sharing what knowledge I gain, as well as gaining knowledge as I go.

That's it for now!