bbwvixen

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I think things are finally starting to sink in! It's three weeks today for my surgeries. (he's repairing my hernia too) and another week before I need to start the liquid diet.
Marueen's surgery was on the 1st and she did really well. I think she had a few days of going WTF did I do, but yesterday she said she felt almost normal!!! I sure hope I rebound like that!!!

I've asked her to come to Victoria with me as my *support* person, as my husband has gotten a huge promotion and won't be able to miss too much time from work. I'm really hoping she'll be able to and I've booked the Swann hotel & suites for our stay. It's a one bedroom loft suite.
Yesterday I booked a special room at the Empress for my night before surgery for my hubby and I.

I knew that I was expected to stick around Vic for 2-3 days after, but I guess that's also changed. Kara said I'm now suppose to stay until my follow up appointment with Dr. Malik which is the Wed following surgery (so May 12) I've asked if I could go home in between but she advises it would be better not to.

My husband will come spend the weekend with me (us) but it's still going to be awful with out him there and my chihuahua's. I HATE being without him! You'd think we were newly weds the way we act but it's been nine years this month <3

ok the great news is I have my scope next wensday!! I'm nervous as hell! Not so much about doing it, but about them finding something that will prevent me from having the surgery! It's five more weeks to go!!!

I've always suffered from joint pain, starting with tendonitis when I was in high school, but the last couple of years it will hit my elbows and/or wrists. Then a few  years ago I developed bursitis in my left shoulder after my gallbladder surgery (I think they moved me wrong or dropped me or something!), but now it seems to be in the right shoulder TOO! Then my hips will go out of alignment, so I'm a huge whiner now!

The shoulder is the worse right now, exspecially since I sleep on my side, and on my shoulder. It seems like pain killers don't touch it either! I have to be very careful with the blood thinners I'm back on , but holy ouch it hurts!!! Last night I had ice on my shoulder, I've tried heat, nothing works. My GP doesn't want me doing any more medications as I've already got a lethal cocktail and that leaves me afraid to even do over the counter meds. Pharmacy says don't use tynol due to the blood thinners, GP says it ok in moderation. Sheesh!

I'm really hoping once I start loosing weight, the nerves or muscles won't be so pinched or have pressue on them and that will help!!!

Maureen's surgery is next Thursday and I am so freaking excited for her!!!!!!! *happy dance*

I've been at my job seven weeks now, with being sick 80% of the time. My thought was to try to hold out for my probation to be over and then I could go on disability during my sugery and recovery time.
I've been on the phones just over a month and of course we're bound to make mistakes, who doesn't?
I still got hauld into my managers office on Tuesday with my supervisor for three *errors* that cost the company just under $400. I work in the tourism industry so it's very common. (a coworker told me someone had made a $12000 payout and was still promoted the next day) anyways, I went into the office, said my bad lol and told them how I've corrected the way I was doing thing and how I've learned from it, blah blah blah. I was told it was very *disconcerning* that I've had three errors since I've started...... It's not like I haven't lived and learned from my mistakes, and my call monitering have been 86/93/90 % which is pretty damn good for a new agent.
During this meeting I was told they may *extend* my probation to a fourth month to decide if the *relationship* was working and if I made any more errors. Well right there that defeats the purpose of trying to make probation and do my surgery. That night I worked a hour ot (2nd night in a row) and came home exhausted. I bawled on my hubby's shoulder because I was so friggin exhausted  and we decided I'd quit. Well I decided the next day to try to stick it out anyways and went back to work.
Then yesterday I got a  file back in my Que.....another friggin error and cost of $136!!!! Both my manager and supervisor were away, but I got another sup to send me to the call and I didn't do the *file recap* at the very end where I'm suppose to go over EVERYTHING once last time. In other words 100% my fault even though I did it several times during the call. Even though this error was from BEFORE I had my meetings with the boss, it's still #4.

So I decided, screw it! I quit. I walked out at lunch  and came home. Sent them a email and told them I wasn't coming back  due to my health.

Meanwhile, back on the farm I called my GP again and said I'll take the scope test anywhere. I had asked for it at St Paul's which was closer to my work. She said they got a appointment for me at the end of MAY!!! Hello???? My surgery is the beginning of May!!!!! I've waited three years for my date, I'm NOT going to miss it cause they can't get me in earlier!!!!

I've been trying to get in to get my scope done since I've seen Dr Malik in Feb, but my GP wouldn' t do it without seeing me first. It ticks me off when they do that, because it's not like anything else has changed and all I had to say was I need the scope.

That was last Saturday and the office was closed on Monday. I've waited a couple days and finally called the office today. The receptionist said she faxed out the info on Tuesday and they haven't gotten back to her yet. I'm trying to have it done at St. Paul's as it's closer to my work. She gave me the number to try my luck in calling but there was only a way to confirm my appointment not GET one.

Today's my son's 17th birthday so I had a shower and got ready to take him out for lunch. Meanwhile the phone was ringing as I came down the stairs. I actually thought it was him, so didn't rush, and then it started ringing again.

It was Kara from Dr. Malik's office!!! :) At first she offered me April 6th, but with my new job, that would be short my three month's probation by five days!!!! So she offered me May 4th which I snapped up :) It's all based on the fact I get my scope done of course, so if they don't call back by tomorrow I'm going to start harassing them lol

I don't think it's really hit me yet. Not until my scope is done!!! 

I'm so excited though that my friend Maureen is having her's done April 1st! My hope/plan is that if she's feeling well enough and not working she'll come to  Victoria with me when I have to stay the few days after surgery. I can get a rate for the Empress for $69/night!!!! That way my husband doesn't have to take too much time off of work and she'll know exaclty what to expect!

Since last appointment was such a dissapointment, I took my hubby this time.
It went much easier and quicker then I expected. The first things out of Dr M's mouth
was "your ready to go!!!" OMG! Words I wanted to hear but though I'd never hear!!!

Then he said I still have to do the scope and see a blood clot specialist. When I said I seen
Dr. Yee the week b4, he said I probaly don't have teo see the other blood specialist then.. (I'm back on blood

thinners

I refuse to make resolutions, but instead I have goals for 2010.
My first goal is to get my WLS!!!! I hate depending on other people, but this is one that I really don't have control over.
I've been told I'm # 4/5 on the list and I know of 2 others who have gotten their dates already.

My last appointment with Dr Malik was a huge disappointment and I'm going to take my husband next time and nail him with a answer. In September he told me a month til surgery, I knew that wasn't realistic but still it got my hopes up. Then the surgeries got cut from 111 to 52 and most surgeries put on hold til the new fiscal year which starts in April. When I seen Dr Malik in November though instead he told me I needed to get my stress and eating under control!!!! He wants me to write everything down for 3-6 months!!! So he's gone from saying surgery in a month to now maybe six months.

I've lost 30 lbs in the last year without trying and he says that *doesn't count* he also states walking *doesn't count* WTF??? What else am I suppose to do when I'm recovering from blood clots in the lungs? I also now have diabetes and sleep apnea AND a hernia.

The last couple of months I've been so disgusted with everything, the health care system, myself, the doctor, that I've been eating everything is site :(( Big surprise though is I haven't gained any weight, so I'm not sure what's up with that, but I'm not complaining!!!

Tomorrow I go see my local MLA in response to the letter writing campaign that we've been doing on the other support forums. I'm bring all of my health info and well as the facts sheet for surgery. I'm so sick of hearing our stories on the news, only to have Kevin Falcon mess his facts up!!!!

WOW it's been awhile! Well the boys went back to their parents after three months. We just couldn't do it anymore and the SIL/BIL weren't following any of the rules, so we had to tell the social workers no more. The kids were sent home and parents put on six months probations and drug tests and as far as we know, they're ingoring what the social workers have said. It's out of our hands now. I've called the social worker twice more.....but that's it. I'm out.

Sooooooooooo I was SUPPOSE to have surgery in August/September but thanks the cutbacks, they've screwed me (and others) that much more!!!! Now I've been told it won't be until at LEASE next year. To say I'm disgusted is to put it very mildly!

A little good news, I did loose 27lbs while the boys where here (good ole stress I guess) and I'm off the warfarin now, as the blood clots have been cleared. I still get short of breathe, and am scared the clots may come back, but I guess it's a wait and see huh?

I did my sleep apena test and am a 6 when a normal person is 5 and under but that should clear up with the  extra weight is gone. Also I don't have asthma as was suspected. I completed all of the testing I needed to do for Dr Rusnak, only for Dr Malik to come in and from what I hear, he's has more tests and such.

Almost everything I hear about this new doctor is bad, and it's got me very very nervous. I called Kara and got a appointment to see him at the end of September,so we'll see what he has to say about me.

I'm not working right now, 16 bloody hours short for EI, so I may find a pt job and get the hours lol

I'm not sleeping very well and always exhausted but what's new???? Oh ya, I joined Curves lol and start my first session tonite!

I didn't realize it had been so long since I've written. So much as happened, both good and very bad.
As I've mentioned to many people my brother and sister in law are drug addicts. At the end of January with five minutes notice we were given our nephew's to live with us for a minium of three months.

From going to have one 17 year old living with us full time (but we only see him to feed and sleep) and then my 15&12 year old three days a week, to now having 2 litte boys full time. They're four and six.

We ended up having to cancel our Jamaician trip, otherwise they would have put the boys in with strangers and we couldn't allow that.

The good news is I've lost 15 lbs since they've been here. I've totally lost my appetite and am either too tired or forget or even too busy to eat.

The boys *should* be going home to mom and dad at the end of April which is the same time I need to go back to Victoria for the rest of my doctor's appointments and tests. Then if everything goes well, my surgery will be August/September.

With 2 little boys living with us, besides being ran ragged and stressed, we've been recycling our germs and Darnien the four four year old and I are constantly sick. We feel better for a few days, then sick again.

To just top off the wonderful week I've had (NOT) my cousin died of a massive heart attack @ 62 last Sunday. He was ill, but it wasn't expected like that. Then last night my Uncle Jerry died of cancer. I feel so bad for my dad and mom, as they were very very close to both of them. Two blows like that within 5 days, how do you handle that?

Ever since my husband and I have been together, he's wanted a *family Christmas* since he's never had his son (even thought he moved in with us 2 years ago....he spend the first  year's Xmas with his mom) and my two younger kids are with their dad.

Well this year was it....and boy am I glad it's over!!!!

That being said, I've disowned my only sibling today after not hearing from him on Christmas (I had invited him for dinner and to spend the day with us) and not once since I've been sick has he asked how I am. He only contacts me when he wants to bum money off of me, or wants something else from us, or to whine about his gf dumping him again.

Then today I spoke with my mom who said his reasoning was that IF I was as sick as I'm portraying then I wouldn't be traveling so much!! In other words, I was FAKING having the blood clots in my lungs and traveling through my heart!!!

We went to Vegas at the beginning of Demember, but not before I clearned it with not only my family doctor but my specialist AND I took every precaution I could (getting up and walking around, special hose etc)

We're thinking of driving to California, and that's what set him off I guess.
YES, we travel alot!!! What business is it of his or anyone else for that fact?
We don't smoke, drink, or do drungs and my vice is traveling. If I can do it the why the hell not?

Ok, rant over....I'm starting to get pissed again.

So tomrorow I have the pulomanary function test, blood test to check my INR again, and a doctor's appointment. I do the blood test 1-2x week and see my doctor every two weeks.

I have a heart scan (something like a ultrasound) in mid January.

I haven't weighed myself in weeks. I'm scared too. I know I'm at my highest weight ever and stress isn't helping! Every little mood change....I eat. Almost to the point of being sick.

I'm counting the weeks until I can have my surgery, but the doc said at lease six months for the blood clots to heal. That puts me in May......

Mind you I did another VQ scan two weeks ago and the clots are still there, getting better but still there.

It went as well as can be expected I suppose. He was very happy with the paper work I brought him on all the medications I'm on and the report from ER about the blood clots and PE.

I just did FOURTEEN blood tests for him this morning. He always wants me to see his nutritionist and Dr MacDonald who I think is the internatlist.  He also wants the Respitory specialist I'm seeing next week opinion on the surgery and how I'm healing and what's up with the blood clots.

Just before I left, I found out that I'm a full blown diabeteic now too.....sheesh what's left?