bbwvixen
Disability reinstated!
Nov 21, 2008
Yes! Manulife has finally gotten off their asses and done what we pay them to do. My appeal was granted today, to get my disability payments back!
It's pretty sad they wait until I have a pulomary embolism for that to happen! I'm getting back paid too!! I switch to LTD as of November 7th and that looks like it'll go through too!
I also see Dr Rusak on the 26th, I'm excited but scared that this latest health issue will stop or postpone my surgery :(
It's pretty sad they wait until I have a pulomary embolism for that to happen! I'm getting back paid too!! I switch to LTD as of November 7th and that looks like it'll go through too!
I also see Dr Rusak on the 26th, I'm excited but scared that this latest health issue will stop or postpone my surgery :(
No more injections!
Nov 17, 2008
Good news finally! My blood levels are where they want them, so I don't have to go into the hospital every day and do the Herpon injections!!!
Blood tests are down to 2-3 times a week too, so less poking ;)
My appoitnment is with Dr Rusak is the 26th and I'm really nervous about how this will affect my surgery, or even being able to go for surgery.
Oh, a little bit of more good news, I've lost 7lbs since seeing Dr Amson in September. Not sure if it's the meds or being sick, but I'll take it! :D
Blood tests are down to 2-3 times a week too, so less poking ;)
My appoitnment is with Dr Rusak is the 26th and I'm really nervous about how this will affect my surgery, or even being able to go for surgery.
Oh, a little bit of more good news, I've lost 7lbs since seeing Dr Amson in September. Not sure if it's the meds or being sick, but I'll take it! :D
Injections of blood thinners
Nov 14, 2008
I've spent the whole week going in to the hospital every day and getting injections into my tummy which is now black, for blood thinners. I also have to get blood drawn every day to check the levels of my blood.
I started taking pills on Wed, so I'm hoping I can stop the daily needles very soon!
I'm still going to see Dr Rusak in two weeks, just make sure he's aware of what's going on.
I also seem to be getting a reaction from the pills, nausea and lack of appetite (that part I'll keep!) and having to go to the bathroom too much.
I started taking pills on Wed, so I'm hoping I can stop the daily needles very soon!
I'm still going to see Dr Rusak in two weeks, just make sure he's aware of what's going on.
I also seem to be getting a reaction from the pills, nausea and lack of appetite (that part I'll keep!) and having to go to the bathroom too much.
Blood clots in my lungs....confirmed!
Nov 10, 2008
Well I had to do two more tests today, a ultra sound of my legs and then a lung xray type thing where I breathed in radiation (wonder if I glow in the dark now?? 
) and it was confirmed that I have several clots in both lungs and one really big one in my right lung.
It's all kinda surreal still. For the way I actually feel to the actual seriousness it is, just doesn't add up.
The specialist gave me a choice of being admitted to the hospital for a few days, or doing out patient treatments. Of course I chose the latter.
So I have to go in every day and get blood thinners by injections into my tummy, and start taking pills tomorrow too. I also have to get my blood levels checked every day. I'm going to be a human voo doo doll lol
My poor hubby is totally freaked out, and doesn't understand how I can laugh and joke about it. I told him I'm very releived that now we KNOW what the problem is and that we can solve it.
) and it was confirmed that I have several clots in both lungs and one really big one in my right lung.It's all kinda surreal still. For the way I actually feel to the actual seriousness it is, just doesn't add up.
The specialist gave me a choice of being admitted to the hospital for a few days, or doing out patient treatments. Of course I chose the latter.
So I have to go in every day and get blood thinners by injections into my tummy, and start taking pills tomorrow too. I also have to get my blood levels checked every day. I'm going to be a human voo doo doll lol
My poor hubby is totally freaked out, and doesn't understand how I can laugh and joke about it. I told him I'm very releived that now we KNOW what the problem is and that we can solve it.
Blood clot, heart attack....or...?
Nov 09, 2008
I have been very very out of breathe since I've returned from NOLA (It started the day after) and a heaviness in my chest.
At first I though it was jet lag or the change in altitude, but when it didn't go away, I thought perhaps pnenomia since I'm prone to things like that since I have no spleen and that's what it felt like,but without the cough.
I spent 2 hours waiting for a walk in clininc doctor only to be told that my chest sounded ok, but at looking at my list of medications and my history, he wanted me to go to ER.
I spent another 4 hours in ER checking for a possible heart attack and/or blood clot. I did a ECG which was normal and a chest x ray which was normal. Much to my suprise a blood test would show more then these tests though. So I then had to do blood work.
One of the test came back positive to a possible blood clot, and he wanted me to have a CT Scan next, but I'm hight allergic to the dye they use for contrast, so we have to wait until Monday to do a ultra sound of my legs and some other type of chest xray with me blowing into a machine.
Meanwhile they're treating me as if I do have a blood clot so I had to get a injection in my tummy yesterday (stung like hell!), and go back today for another one.
Meanwhile I'm suppose to watch if the tightness in my chest changes or pain in my back, neck, shoulder, jaw ect
That's a tough one since I always have problems with my back and neck anyways, so I'm not sure which is the regular stuff or what's new.
I'm also worried about the inpact this will have on my wls surgery???
At first I though it was jet lag or the change in altitude, but when it didn't go away, I thought perhaps pnenomia since I'm prone to things like that since I have no spleen and that's what it felt like,but without the cough.
I spent 2 hours waiting for a walk in clininc doctor only to be told that my chest sounded ok, but at looking at my list of medications and my history, he wanted me to go to ER.
I spent another 4 hours in ER checking for a possible heart attack and/or blood clot. I did a ECG which was normal and a chest x ray which was normal. Much to my suprise a blood test would show more then these tests though. So I then had to do blood work.
One of the test came back positive to a possible blood clot, and he wanted me to have a CT Scan next, but I'm hight allergic to the dye they use for contrast, so we have to wait until Monday to do a ultra sound of my legs and some other type of chest xray with me blowing into a machine.
Meanwhile they're treating me as if I do have a blood clot so I had to get a injection in my tummy yesterday (stung like hell!), and go back today for another one.
Meanwhile I'm suppose to watch if the tightness in my chest changes or pain in my back, neck, shoulder, jaw ect
That's a tough one since I always have problems with my back and neck anyways, so I'm not sure which is the regular stuff or what's new.
I'm also worried about the inpact this will have on my wls surgery???
Back from New Orleans
Nov 07, 2008
New Orleans was a total blast! We met some wonderful new people, which is always a nice bonus.
We walked and walked and walked. My feet were so swollen and sore. Normally all that walking would have been great, but I also ate and ate and ate! I swear everything down there is fried and fattening!!
We've been back only three days and already I'm so sick of the constant downpoor and gloomy days! In NOLA we were homesick and really missed the kids and pets, and couldn't wait to get home again.
I did have fun, but I was also......bored
It just seemed that after the Ball's (heck even AT the Balls, we were bored) Maybe we're just too hold for the parting? lol
Before we left, I got into my first ever fight with my best friend. I've always been a *yes woman* to her, and as she's very in your face, and can be down right rude and miserable. So instead of causing a fight, I'd always just bite my tonuge or whatever.
Anyways, she just broke up with her ex of three years. A alcholic and someone who abused her both mentally and put her in dangerous situations. Anyways to make a long story short, she compared my husband to her ex and I told her she crossed the line and that this was the end of the conversation NOW!
Two days later, I went to New Orleans and I haven't heard from her.
She's removed me from msn, and facebook, and hasn't said a word to me since. Perhaps I should make the first move to mend things, but I'm tired of her always walking all over me, and frankly she is toxic to a point, Even my husband said he notices a big difference in my attitude when I'm around her. I've also noticed that when I'm around her, I start to binge, and she's not supportive of my attempts to loose weight.
What really sucks though is she is/was my only friend for three years.. I have many fair weather friendsd but no one else I'd call a friend besides my husband. Perhaps I'm better off without her, but I'm lonely :(
On a brighter note, I see Dr Rusak on November 26th so am hoping I can have my surgery this spring!!! Today I've ordred a bunch of books from Amzon.ca to do with wls.
We walked and walked and walked. My feet were so swollen and sore. Normally all that walking would have been great, but I also ate and ate and ate! I swear everything down there is fried and fattening!!
We've been back only three days and already I'm so sick of the constant downpoor and gloomy days! In NOLA we were homesick and really missed the kids and pets, and couldn't wait to get home again.
I did have fun, but I was also......bored
It just seemed that after the Ball's (heck even AT the Balls, we were bored) Maybe we're just too hold for the parting? lolBefore we left, I got into my first ever fight with my best friend. I've always been a *yes woman* to her, and as she's very in your face, and can be down right rude and miserable. So instead of causing a fight, I'd always just bite my tonuge or whatever.
Anyways, she just broke up with her ex of three years. A alcholic and someone who abused her both mentally and put her in dangerous situations. Anyways to make a long story short, she compared my husband to her ex and I told her she crossed the line and that this was the end of the conversation NOW!
Two days later, I went to New Orleans and I haven't heard from her.She's removed me from msn, and facebook, and hasn't said a word to me since. Perhaps I should make the first move to mend things, but I'm tired of her always walking all over me, and frankly she is toxic to a point, Even my husband said he notices a big difference in my attitude when I'm around her. I've also noticed that when I'm around her, I start to binge, and she's not supportive of my attempts to loose weight.
What really sucks though is she is/was my only friend for three years.. I have many fair weather friendsd but no one else I'd call a friend besides my husband. Perhaps I'm better off without her, but I'm lonely :(
On a brighter note, I see Dr Rusak on November 26th so am hoping I can have my surgery this spring!!! Today I've ordred a bunch of books from Amzon.ca to do with wls.
Friggin Manulife!!!
Oct 23, 2008
I can't beleive the sob's actual ruled to turn down my appeal!!! WTF???
I have not only, one but TWO friggin doctor's who say I can't go back to work, but that's not good enough for THEM!!!
The woman I spoke to today, who decided my bloody fate, has never speken to me before, and is a friggin NURSE, yet she's qualified to rule against TWO doctors?
I'm so spitting mad! My pay has been cut off, so now what? Go back to work against doctor's orders? Or stay off as they say, and be in finacial straights?
I have not only, one but TWO friggin doctor's who say I can't go back to work, but that's not good enough for THEM!!!
The woman I spoke to today, who decided my bloody fate, has never speken to me before, and is a friggin NURSE, yet she's qualified to rule against TWO doctors?
I'm so spitting mad! My pay has been cut off, so now what? Go back to work against doctor's orders? Or stay off as they say, and be in finacial straights?
Moving forward step by step
Oct 22, 2008
I found out today that the home test for sleep apnea showed my levels were down a little during the night. Enough that he's referring me to the sleep clinic here at SMH.
I've also been recovering from a viral infection or something, and did two rounds of antibiodics for a UTI. My ear is still bothering me but, the doc says it's not infected which is good.
He's sent the newest forms requesting more information by Manulife so hopefully my appeal will over turn their decision on cutting me off.
I don't understand how a disability company can do that? Actually try to force you to go to work against not only one but two doctor's orders??? WTF???
If I don't get it reinstated, I'm going to try for medical EI. I owe them something like $3000 for a over payment but they'll take it off my checks, so hopefully I'll have enough hours for that.
The shrink I seen today has seen a approvement since I first seen her, so the new meds are working which is good. Now if only I can SLEEP!!!
I've given up trying to keep track of everything I eat, and just make better choices. I was being way to hard on myself and beating myself up for everything I ate. Also the one medication I am on (one sher's going to phase out) actually causes people to gain weight!
I have a appointment with Dr Rusak on November 26th, so I'm nervous and excited about that. Trying not to get my hopes up too much.
I AM excited about going to New Orleans next week!!! I was hoping that I'd loose some weight before but what the heck, there's always next time right?
I've also been recovering from a viral infection or something, and did two rounds of antibiodics for a UTI. My ear is still bothering me but, the doc says it's not infected which is good.
He's sent the newest forms requesting more information by Manulife so hopefully my appeal will over turn their decision on cutting me off.
I don't understand how a disability company can do that? Actually try to force you to go to work against not only one but two doctor's orders??? WTF???
If I don't get it reinstated, I'm going to try for medical EI. I owe them something like $3000 for a over payment but they'll take it off my checks, so hopefully I'll have enough hours for that.
The shrink I seen today has seen a approvement since I first seen her, so the new meds are working which is good. Now if only I can SLEEP!!!
I've given up trying to keep track of everything I eat, and just make better choices. I was being way to hard on myself and beating myself up for everything I ate. Also the one medication I am on (one sher's going to phase out) actually causes people to gain weight!
I have a appointment with Dr Rusak on November 26th, so I'm nervous and excited about that. Trying not to get my hopes up too much.
I AM excited about going to New Orleans next week!!! I was hoping that I'd loose some weight before but what the heck, there's always next time right?
Here we go again
Oct 05, 2008
Well good news and bad news I suppose. I've joined a depression support group and the first think I learned was that these gawd awful mood swings are the withdrawls!!!!
I feel like that flight attendant on the Nicoderm commercial where she't totally freaking out!!
It's so good to know there's a REASON for it and that I haven't just had a total personality switch!
I've agreed with the doctor that I'm not ready to go back to work and am seeing a shrink on Wed to help with my meds and such.
Wouldn't you know it, that as soon as I accept that, Manualife my disability insurance providers decide to be jerks about it all!
The wanted me to attend a back to work meeting, which I did, but telling them upfront that the doctor says I'm off for another month.
In one ear and out the other ear! They make plans for me to start back to work tomorrow!! No way!!! I emailed the case worker and said, what part of NO don't you understand? I am NOT going against my doctor's orders!!!
Then I get this email stating the *appeal* process? Huh? What? Why should I have to appeal if I haven't done anything wrong and am following doctors orders?
Needless to say I sent a nasty email to the supervisor and went to see my doctor and had him fill out the forms (again!) for TWO more months off of work now.
I'm just waiting to pick them up, as they weren't ready on Friday when he said they would be. He's a very busy man and I think it's absurd that the insurance company has gotten him to do forms four times in three months!!! He had just finished doing long term disability forms too. What's the point if they're giong to try to force me to go back to work?
As you can imagine the stress has been horrible. I was trying to keep track of everything I ate on a onine diary and keep under 1700 calories, but I kept gaining and losing the same 5 lbs over and over, so have given up on that. All I could think of was food every waken moment too!
I find now that I'm not keeping track as much, and rather just trying to make *smarter* choices, I don't sit there and think about it all the time.
I feel like that flight attendant on the Nicoderm commercial where she't totally freaking out!!
It's so good to know there's a REASON for it and that I haven't just had a total personality switch!
I've agreed with the doctor that I'm not ready to go back to work and am seeing a shrink on Wed to help with my meds and such.
Wouldn't you know it, that as soon as I accept that, Manualife my disability insurance providers decide to be jerks about it all!
The wanted me to attend a back to work meeting, which I did, but telling them upfront that the doctor says I'm off for another month.
In one ear and out the other ear! They make plans for me to start back to work tomorrow!! No way!!! I emailed the case worker and said, what part of NO don't you understand? I am NOT going against my doctor's orders!!!
Then I get this email stating the *appeal* process? Huh? What? Why should I have to appeal if I haven't done anything wrong and am following doctors orders?
Needless to say I sent a nasty email to the supervisor and went to see my doctor and had him fill out the forms (again!) for TWO more months off of work now.
I'm just waiting to pick them up, as they weren't ready on Friday when he said they would be. He's a very busy man and I think it's absurd that the insurance company has gotten him to do forms four times in three months!!! He had just finished doing long term disability forms too. What's the point if they're giong to try to force me to go back to work?
As you can imagine the stress has been horrible. I was trying to keep track of everything I ate on a onine diary and keep under 1700 calories, but I kept gaining and losing the same 5 lbs over and over, so have given up on that. All I could think of was food every waken moment too!
I find now that I'm not keeping track as much, and rather just trying to make *smarter* choices, I don't sit there and think about it all the time.
Mood swings and other medical woes
Aug 27, 2008
I seen the doctor again and asked to go back to work for one day a week at lease. I thought it would help me at lease feel productive and keep me in the swing of things. He didn't think it was a good idea but I still asked him for it.
I've also been seeing a councellor through my EAP at work. I've only seen her twice but she's really cool and easy to talk to. She's only meant to be short term so she's suggested a few things for me.
I've been very very emotional the last month as I've gone from being on 300mg of Effexor to 30 mg of Remron. Most of the month I was so damn dizzy if my husband wasn't holding me up, I would have fallen over many times!
I've also fallen into a major depression. It was so bad a couple of weeks ago that I said screw it and since hubby is on EI, we drove down to California. Amazing! I felt great down there! Wasn't as dizzy, not depressed and not sleeping all the time. I was actually able to laugh and have fun. It was the first time in awhile.
Of course all good things must come to a end, and when we came back the depression started all over again. Last week was by far the worse, with either bawling at every little thing, and/or rages that scared even ME!!!
My granfather passed away on April 30th and I'm the one dealing with collecting his ashes and laying him to rest next to my grandmother. I've been trying to find poems that explain how I feel so I can lay it on their graves, but can't get very far without bawling.
Then my mom ends up in the hospital with bronchial pnumonia and is there for four days. (Dad's the one who is always sick and mom's the rock so this was change) I was moderatly worried, but kind of releived as I knew she was getting the care she needed though. She got home and disovered my dad now has it!!!
Then to top if all off, my brother who is 38, nailed her for money AGAIN!!! I almost popped a blood vessle I'm so mad. He has no kids, and works 3/4 days a week delivering newspapers. He's ALWAYS broke, his truck is always needing repair blah blah blah. He likes to brag how he's making so much money, yet he hits everyone up for money. I gave him $100 last Christmas as he hadn't eaten for a few days. Then last month when his truck broke down again mom was going to rent him a truck but wanted my husband to drive it as my brother doesn't even have a darn licence!! The plan was so he could finish off the work doing his newspapers, and then bring my oldest son's stuff up to Kamloops where he's going to school, and bring my brother's stuff down from where it was stored.
Anyways it didn't work out but since my husband Don is on EI he agreed that he'd drive my brother around to do his papers and Ron my brother would pay him the next Wed, $130. Well Wed comes and of course no money, no phone call, doesn't answer my calls, no im's no emails ....nothing! I actually disowned him for a month (with mom pleading for us to get along) He ended up putting $70 in and of course I haven't seen the rest. Even thought we started talking about ten days ago.
Then he gets into a car accident....his fault. The police are involved so he can't pay me because of the towing and fine and god only knows what else!!! He's like a black hole, it never matters how much we give him, he's broke again right away!!!
Anways, the day after mom's out of the hospital, he calls her because he's *so worried about her* but of course he has to add that he hasn't eaten in four days, no ciggerettes, blah whine, whine blah blah. Of course mom, says she'll send him $150. She then calls me and wants to do our usual *I'll put the money on your credit card, you take cash and give to your brother" trip.
I said no. First of all, we're broke......we were still paying for our trip to California, and second of all EI is taking 50% of my husband's check for a overpayment. I told her I can't afford to give it to him, so she then asks how much I CAN give him!! Sheesh!!! Again I say NO! He's bitten the hand that feeds him, literally and I'm never giving him money or food again (Last time he broke into our home to TAKE food) I told her how pissed I am that he even is getting money from her. Told her it reminds me of Don's ex wife. She's visiting Don's mom in the hospital and Don and the ex go for a smoke....she giggles and says to Don "I guess now is a bad time to ask to borrow $100 from your mom huh?" 24 hours later his mom was dead!!!!
Can we say BITCHSLAP across the head? To me my brother is no better. He then starts whining about how he's so stressed and he's going to have a nervous breakdown (again.....drama Island EVERY week) and his poor girlfriend (who lent him $1100 to buy a new truck, but is taking $600 payments which he's paying .....and another reason why he can't afford food) is so stressed and she's on the verge of a breakdown....poor him, poor her.....she's so depressed,she has no home, she just got divorced, (she got almost $200,00 CASH! That would go a LONG way to cheer ME up!) blah blah whine whine....
I've had it.....I just can't deal with my health problems, worrying about my parents, grandpa's last wishes, and then my medication and mood swings being in a upheavel!
I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!! He can GO hungry, he can GET a 2nd, 3ed job, SHE can lend him money (SHE can afford it) he can GO to the food bank..........I just don't want to hear about it anymore!!!! Have a breakdown, I DONT CARE!!!!
I can't deal with everyone else's shit but mine!
My depression is so bad that when my kids when to the Sunshine Coast with my ex's parents...they come back and didn't run over to see me or call me......I BAWLED! You'd think my dog had died or something!
Soooooooooooooo after telling the councellor all of this, she asked me to do three things.
1.Get referral to Psychologists as they are the PRO's of the medication and will know what reaction and side effects are normal.
2. Get advian to help me through the rough patches
3. Get referred to out patient mental health services on how to cope with depression and othe things like that.
So, I took care of all of that yesterday. Oh, and NO WAY, am I to go back to work even for one day!!!!! She said there's no way I'm ready or even close to ready.
I'm now also on beta blockers for my tachycardia, and hope like heck the tachycardia is not going to be negative for my surgery. I've held off calling Dr Menegetti because I'm not sure if it will be or not. Dr Blackwell, the cardio specialist hasn't gotten back to me yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do the ablation surgery (which is a day surgery but still scared the bejesus outta me)
I'm torn wondering if I should try to see Dr R to get the surgery by him, or/and see Dr M for the OCC
Stress? What stress?
I've also been seeing a councellor through my EAP at work. I've only seen her twice but she's really cool and easy to talk to. She's only meant to be short term so she's suggested a few things for me.
I've been very very emotional the last month as I've gone from being on 300mg of Effexor to 30 mg of Remron. Most of the month I was so damn dizzy if my husband wasn't holding me up, I would have fallen over many times!
I've also fallen into a major depression. It was so bad a couple of weeks ago that I said screw it and since hubby is on EI, we drove down to California. Amazing! I felt great down there! Wasn't as dizzy, not depressed and not sleeping all the time. I was actually able to laugh and have fun. It was the first time in awhile.
Of course all good things must come to a end, and when we came back the depression started all over again. Last week was by far the worse, with either bawling at every little thing, and/or rages that scared even ME!!!
My granfather passed away on April 30th and I'm the one dealing with collecting his ashes and laying him to rest next to my grandmother. I've been trying to find poems that explain how I feel so I can lay it on their graves, but can't get very far without bawling.
Then my mom ends up in the hospital with bronchial pnumonia and is there for four days. (Dad's the one who is always sick and mom's the rock so this was change) I was moderatly worried, but kind of releived as I knew she was getting the care she needed though. She got home and disovered my dad now has it!!!
Then to top if all off, my brother who is 38, nailed her for money AGAIN!!! I almost popped a blood vessle I'm so mad. He has no kids, and works 3/4 days a week delivering newspapers. He's ALWAYS broke, his truck is always needing repair blah blah blah. He likes to brag how he's making so much money, yet he hits everyone up for money. I gave him $100 last Christmas as he hadn't eaten for a few days. Then last month when his truck broke down again mom was going to rent him a truck but wanted my husband to drive it as my brother doesn't even have a darn licence!! The plan was so he could finish off the work doing his newspapers, and then bring my oldest son's stuff up to Kamloops where he's going to school, and bring my brother's stuff down from where it was stored.
Anyways it didn't work out but since my husband Don is on EI he agreed that he'd drive my brother around to do his papers and Ron my brother would pay him the next Wed, $130. Well Wed comes and of course no money, no phone call, doesn't answer my calls, no im's no emails ....nothing! I actually disowned him for a month (with mom pleading for us to get along) He ended up putting $70 in and of course I haven't seen the rest. Even thought we started talking about ten days ago.
Then he gets into a car accident....his fault. The police are involved so he can't pay me because of the towing and fine and god only knows what else!!! He's like a black hole, it never matters how much we give him, he's broke again right away!!!
Anways, the day after mom's out of the hospital, he calls her because he's *so worried about her* but of course he has to add that he hasn't eaten in four days, no ciggerettes, blah whine, whine blah blah. Of course mom, says she'll send him $150. She then calls me and wants to do our usual *I'll put the money on your credit card, you take cash and give to your brother" trip.
I said no. First of all, we're broke......we were still paying for our trip to California, and second of all EI is taking 50% of my husband's check for a overpayment. I told her I can't afford to give it to him, so she then asks how much I CAN give him!! Sheesh!!! Again I say NO! He's bitten the hand that feeds him, literally and I'm never giving him money or food again (Last time he broke into our home to TAKE food) I told her how pissed I am that he even is getting money from her. Told her it reminds me of Don's ex wife. She's visiting Don's mom in the hospital and Don and the ex go for a smoke....she giggles and says to Don "I guess now is a bad time to ask to borrow $100 from your mom huh?" 24 hours later his mom was dead!!!!
Can we say BITCHSLAP across the head? To me my brother is no better. He then starts whining about how he's so stressed and he's going to have a nervous breakdown (again.....drama Island EVERY week) and his poor girlfriend (who lent him $1100 to buy a new truck, but is taking $600 payments which he's paying .....and another reason why he can't afford food) is so stressed and she's on the verge of a breakdown....poor him, poor her.....she's so depressed,she has no home, she just got divorced, (she got almost $200,00 CASH! That would go a LONG way to cheer ME up!) blah blah whine whine....
I've had it.....I just can't deal with my health problems, worrying about my parents, grandpa's last wishes, and then my medication and mood swings being in a upheavel!
I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!! He can GO hungry, he can GET a 2nd, 3ed job, SHE can lend him money (SHE can afford it) he can GO to the food bank..........I just don't want to hear about it anymore!!!! Have a breakdown, I DONT CARE!!!!
I can't deal with everyone else's shit but mine!My depression is so bad that when my kids when to the Sunshine Coast with my ex's parents...they come back and didn't run over to see me or call me......I BAWLED! You'd think my dog had died or something!
Soooooooooooooo after telling the councellor all of this, she asked me to do three things.
1.Get referral to Psychologists as they are the PRO's of the medication and will know what reaction and side effects are normal.
2. Get advian to help me through the rough patches
3. Get referred to out patient mental health services on how to cope with depression and othe things like that.
So, I took care of all of that yesterday. Oh, and NO WAY, am I to go back to work even for one day!!!!! She said there's no way I'm ready or even close to ready.
I'm now also on beta blockers for my tachycardia, and hope like heck the tachycardia is not going to be negative for my surgery. I've held off calling Dr Menegetti because I'm not sure if it will be or not. Dr Blackwell, the cardio specialist hasn't gotten back to me yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do the ablation surgery (which is a day surgery but still scared the bejesus outta me)
I'm torn wondering if I should try to see Dr R to get the surgery by him, or/and see Dr M for the OCC
Stress? What stress?About Me
Surrey, BC
Location
33.6
BMI
Surgery
05/04/2010
Surgery Date
Oct 06, 2007
Member Since
