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I have been very remiss in keeping up with my blog. I will catch it up soon and add more pics f my journey.

04-15-08

Hi everyone! I am home and doing fantastic. I don't have my internet at home right now so I have not been able to update but I am visiting with a friend today and thought that I would do a quick update so that everyone knew I was ok and doing well. I am down almost 30 pounds since the pre op fast and my surgery. God is so good! I will be back as soon as I can with a better update about my surgery experience and hopefully some pics too. Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement.

03-31-08
Well here I am updating for the last time before surgery. I am doing last minute stuff around the house and packing my suitcase and that's getting interrupted by the lovely bathroom duty from my bowel prep. I was really dreading it but it isn't so bad. I thought I would be all crampy and end up with a sore bottom but that isn't the case. I do feel really bloated from all that liquid though. Sixty four ounces of that stuff plus having to follow it up with lots of water has made me a bit nauseous. It didn't taste too bad because you mix it with Crystal Light but I am not anxious to drink more of it any time soon! Hopefully never again.

I am still feeling incredibly calm and peaceful. A while back I was thinking about writing letters to my children but I decided against it because I really feel like it would be slapping God in the face and throwing His promise back at Him. Sunday I was annointed and prayed for and I have lots of people lifting me up in prayer so it is no wonder I feel peaceful. I am a bit emotional but that is because I know that my life is going to change and I will finally be able to live. 

Prior to receiving my surgery date I had been in prayer that the Lord would be in control of the date and that it would be set according to His perfect will. Not long ago I questioned Him about why He chose April 1st. Sunday in church after the service my pastor was talking about some things and she mentioned that in Hebrew (if I remember her correctly at least) April is the month of new beginnings. That makes sense since that is when Spring begins to bring new life but when she said that I new that it was the Lords's answer to my question about my date. My new beginning! And of course my take on it since it is April Fool's Day is an IN YOUR FACE DEVIL!

On that note I am going to finish up around here and spend some time with the Lord in prayer and then TRY to sleep. I don't know if it will be a very restful night. My stomach is still very rumbly. 

My Current Statistics	February 2008	Day Before Surgery
Weight	307.6	289.6
BMI	46.8	43.8
Head	22 ¼	22 ¼
Neck	15 ½	15 ¼
Upper Arm	20	19 ½
Chest (above breasts)	50 ½	50 ¼
Chest (under breasts)	49	48
Forearm	12 ¼	12
Wrist	7	7
Waist	52 ½	51
Hips	64 ½	59
Upper Leg	28	27
Knee	19 ½	19 ½
Calf	18 ¼	18
Ankle	9 ¾	9
Pant Size	26/28	My 24’s fit me now!
Shirt Size	3X/4X 26/28 & 30/32	3X
Shoe Size	11W & 12W	11W & 12W
Attitude	Optimistic…waiting is hard	Peaceful and Calm
Challenge	Avoiding “Last Supper” mind set	Sleeping well tonight

03-30-08
There are only two days left until my surgery. I am so excited and optimistic. This has been an incredible journey so far but the best is yet to come. I have already lost 15 pounds on my liquid fast. My uniform pants are already getting loose so I know I will need a new size when I return to work...yippee! 

I just know that this is one of the greatest gifts I can give myself. I am determined to make this tool work for me. This last two week period in which I have not strayed from my liquid fast at all has shown me that I can be in control and I don't need to turn to food as a friend. If I thought without a doubt that I could lose the weight and keep it off without having surgery I would cancel it tomorrow. However, I know that I need more to be successful. It is frustrating feeling as if I have to defend my decision to have WLS not only to my family but also to others. This is not an easy way out and I wish they would understand that and not make me feel like a failure. 

I thank the Lord that He has given me such an overwhelming peace about this. If it were not  for that, I would have buckled to the pressure of others trying to make me feel like a failure for doing this regardless of whether that was their intention or not. I know my family is fearful of something happening to me but even my own children feel as if I should be able to lose the weight on my own. After 32 years of trying, losing 60-80 pounds each time, and then eventually gaining it back I know I can not do this alone. And so, Tuesday starts a new chapter in my life. One I am going to partner with the Lord to make the best yet. Not so many years ago I didn't want to live. Now I don't want to die. 

May God Bless You and give you peace about this procedure if you are considering it for yourself. You deserve the best. You are special and only you can decide if it is right for you. 

 

03-27-08
I had a nice surprise in the mail today. I was refunded the $186.80 that I had to pay toward my psych evaluation because my insurance paid it all. Thank you Lord.

03-26-08
I have been going through some of my clothes that have been boxed up because they were too small so that I can get them washed in preperation for my surgery. With the weight I lost at the end of last year and from my liquid fast my current jeans are getting quite loose. I decided to try on my size 24W and 22W jeans anticipating that I would still not be able to get into them and they all fit! I couldn't believe it. Last time I tried them on they wouldn't even come close to zipping. Granted the 22W are snug but I was so tickled. The bad part about it is that it won't take long for them to be too big and then I won't have any clothes to wear. 

Laughing at Keith (29 Diesel) because I can sense a comment coming!

I am very excited about my surgery. This fast has been so easy. I have lost 12 pounds so far. I just started day nine today. Yesterday at work we had a training and they served us pizza for lunch. It smelled really good but I was satisfied with my protein drink and sugar free pudding. I have noticed since I have cut out the carbs my cravings have disappeared. I hope to keep them eliminated at least for the most part after I can resume eating again as they are my downfall.

03-21-08
I had to go to Muskegon this morning for the final step prior to my surgery. I had my blood work and an EKG done. I am going to have some tomato soup and go to bed. I worked last night and only got two hours of sleep before I had to get up to drive down there. I will get about  four hours of sleep and have to get up for work again. This isn't going to help me get over this bronchitis but thankfully I picked up my anibiotic today so I should be feeling better soon. The liquid fast is going great. It is a lot easier then I thought it would be. All that is left is to finish my liquid fast and do my bowel prep...yippy...I am excited about that. 

My jeans are fitting loose though so that is exciting. I was able to put them on right out of the dryer with no problem and a little later I had to find my belt. A gal I work with is going to go through her clothes and see what she might be able to find for me because once I get below a 22W I have nothing to wear. It has been so long. I am so excited for the changes. New life here I come!

03-20-08
Well here it is the start of day three of my liquid diet. So far all is well. I have lost seven pounds. I am sure it is mostly water weight but I'll take it. Thus far I have not gotten that hungry or really much of a headache either. I am finding that everything tastes really sweet though. Even the cream soup I had last night tasted really sweet. 

I saw my primary doctor and found out that I have a mild case of bronchitis. I am picking up a prescription for an antibiotic today to try to shake this. I don't want my surgery to be delayed.

03-17-08
Today is my last day for solid foods for quite a while. I Begin my liquid fast tomorrow. I am well prepared. I made some sugar free jello and pudding. I have a variety of protein drinks on hand along with some cream soups and broth, and yogurt. I am ready! 

The hospital called me today for my pre-op admission stuff. I go in on the 21st for my EKG and blood work. I have a cold and that worries a little bit because I am coughing up some gunk and my nose is running. I have been taking vitamin C and zinc. I called my primary doctor today to see if I can get an appointment but he is out of town this week. They have me on a cancellation list for the doctor covering for him. I am praying that this will pass so that I can have my surgery as scheduled. On a happy note, I started my period this week so that will be one less headache to worry about during surgery.

I am excited. However, my children are still very worried and are wanting me to lose this weight on my own. I have tried to explain to them that I have tried to do that for the last 32 years and I just can't keep the lost weight off. I love them very much and I have a complete peace that God is going to bring me through this just fine. If I did not have that peace, I would not do this. On the other hand, I know that if I do not do this, I will be back on blood pressure meds and will probably die a slow suicide from obesity or worse yet, a sudden death from heart attack or stroke.

God's faithfulness will be a testimony to my children of His love. I don't know why He chose to take my mom after her WLS in the 70's, nor do I know what level of peace she had about it, but I refuse to let satan use fear to keep me from the healing God has promised me. So, I will proceed and all will be well with me. Thank you Lord.