Beautifully_Broken

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02-11-08

I really need to stop doing this to my self. I am in the waiting stage right now and it is driving me crazy. I am continuing my research; reading messaage boards, books, magazines, etc. and that is helpful but then all of a sudden I get caught up in what if I have problems? I see pictures of the loose skin we can expect after losing the weight and freak. I may be able to get the insurance company to pay for tummy skin removal but I doubt they will cover anything else. I can't afford those surgeries on my own. Then I get stuck thinking what if I have problems and end up off work for a long time? I can only afford to be off about two weeks. This is so frustrating! The worst part is I know what it is...ATTACKS FROM THE ENEMY! And I know what I need to do....PUT ON THE WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD! So get behind me satan...my God is greater then you and He has promised me life. I refuse to believe your lies! I will be healthy and whole because that is what God has shown me and my God is not a liar.

02-07-08

Well today I had my first NUT class and my psych evaluation. I learned a little from the NUT class but most of it wasn't anything I didn't already know from a nutrition standpoint. Afterall, I am a professinal dieter! It did help to go into more detail about the eating stages post-op though. At this point I am not dreading the two week liquid fast. I can handle it, right? Yeah check back for an update and see if I have changed my mind when the time comes. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" will have to be my verse to lean on.

As far as the psych evaluation went I guess it wasn't anything like what I expected. Some of the questions on the test were quite comical. For example, T or F- I have been featured on the cover several magazines? I pictured myself on the cover of Vogue and had a good laugh. 

While at my appointment I bought a book called Exodus from Obesity by Paula F. Peck. I would highly reccommend it. I came home and read the entire book. I have mascara smudges from the tears. She truly knows what we know and feels what we feel. I know I will turn to it again and again. 

That's it for me for now...time to wash that grey right otta my hair! Vogue today....Glamour tomorrow.  

I have only one last step prior to surgery. On February 7th I have my Psych evaluation and my nutrition class. I am very fortunate in that my insurance automatically approves surgery (because Dr. Gluck operates a a Center for Excellence) as long as my doctor verifies that I meet their requirements. I am very excited. I don't have very long to work on getting my page here together today but on my day off tomorrow I hope to do more to it and get to know some of you. I am looking forward to all your support and to being a support for others.